This LJ account is neglected
It's interesting to read over some of my archives and see where I was 10 years ago up until now. I've changed my tune. I went from an overstressed students who was working himself too hard to an IT Techie who stares at computer screens too long. I went from someone who rang up groceries, deposited broken bottles into machines for customers and changed the bottle bins (with shards of glass still stuck in my thumb to this day) - to someone who gives IT solutions for retailers worldwide.
It's a humbling experience. The pay is not stellar. I could be making more. I did go through a few lows while in California. I sought out a therapist; a good friend suggested this to me. And we talk - this therapist and I. We talk a lot about the past. We talk a lot about my regrets. And while thinking I've become this rock-hard steely personality - I still cry with a soft feeling in my heart - thinking of all the days I wasted being so depressed.
I've realized that life is what you make of it. If I had to go back to working three jobs at minimum wage - I could do it. It would be hard. But there would be friends. There would be laughter. There would be babies and marriages. Because life didn't stop for me when I thought it would. And I went along for the ride.
Now I'm to a point - where I want to look back. Where I want to reach out to people and reconnect. I want to tie off loose ends and stash my regrets in a trash bin. And I want to keep telling myself - even though I'm almost 30 and living with roommates in San Francisco - it's okay. I'm going to be okay. I have people who love me. I love them back. And I'm ready to face my fears - and brave my life.
And to brave loving it and the people in it.
It's a humbling experience. The pay is not stellar. I could be making more. I did go through a few lows while in California. I sought out a therapist; a good friend suggested this to me. And we talk - this therapist and I. We talk a lot about the past. We talk a lot about my regrets. And while thinking I've become this rock-hard steely personality - I still cry with a soft feeling in my heart - thinking of all the days I wasted being so depressed.
I've realized that life is what you make of it. If I had to go back to working three jobs at minimum wage - I could do it. It would be hard. But there would be friends. There would be laughter. There would be babies and marriages. Because life didn't stop for me when I thought it would. And I went along for the ride.
Now I'm to a point - where I want to look back. Where I want to reach out to people and reconnect. I want to tie off loose ends and stash my regrets in a trash bin. And I want to keep telling myself - even though I'm almost 30 and living with roommates in San Francisco - it's okay. I'm going to be okay. I have people who love me. I love them back. And I'm ready to face my fears - and brave my life.
And to brave loving it and the people in it.