(no subject)
my new job is awesome.
i'm getting a car soon. awesome.
i've been hanging out alot with some cool people (kathryn, stephen, amanda w). awesome.
i'm gonna model nude for kathryn's mom for a scuplture. awesome.
some days i laugh and feel amazing. awesome.
i got my hair done freaking awesomly red... brown.... blond streaks... crazy fun and a cool hair cut.
the beach last weekend was horrible. all the hoilday weekend was horrible.
something pretty bad that shook me to my absolute core happened.
i went to go hang out with nate for some comfort that he provided. we talked alot and i thought we had maybe made some headway towards being friends.... but i dunno this week has been weird. like i've just sent him a few messages about like cool stuff happening in my life and nothing really.
when i was over there i saw he had deleted every picture of me... not just the naughty ones and i was off his aim list... he said he got confused about the pics and didn't do that on the aim... but for a second there it just felt like i was being erased from memory and that was something that took my breath away for a second like i had been kicked in the chest. but i'd like to think i'm being to sensitive.
i know i shouldn't of gotten my hopes up for a friendship even... but damn....
why did that have to happen sunday morning. why. i was doing pretty ok and now i'm crumbled and in my low i looked up to him because he was the only person i could trust.
nana is driving me insane. she doesn't respect that when i shut the door and ooen a book, listen to music or turn on the tv before bed time or anytime that i want to be alone. GAH! also she keeps on threatning not to buy the car and i'm like FINE I DON"T CARE...
money is kinda fucked up
but gtg blah bedtime and phone time
i'm getting a car soon. awesome.
i've been hanging out alot with some cool people (kathryn, stephen, amanda w). awesome.
i'm gonna model nude for kathryn's mom for a scuplture. awesome.
some days i laugh and feel amazing. awesome.
i got my hair done freaking awesomly red... brown.... blond streaks... crazy fun and a cool hair cut.
the beach last weekend was horrible. all the hoilday weekend was horrible.
something pretty bad that shook me to my absolute core happened.
i went to go hang out with nate for some comfort that he provided. we talked alot and i thought we had maybe made some headway towards being friends.... but i dunno this week has been weird. like i've just sent him a few messages about like cool stuff happening in my life and nothing really.
when i was over there i saw he had deleted every picture of me... not just the naughty ones and i was off his aim list... he said he got confused about the pics and didn't do that on the aim... but for a second there it just felt like i was being erased from memory and that was something that took my breath away for a second like i had been kicked in the chest. but i'd like to think i'm being to sensitive.
i know i shouldn't of gotten my hopes up for a friendship even... but damn....
why did that have to happen sunday morning. why. i was doing pretty ok and now i'm crumbled and in my low i looked up to him because he was the only person i could trust.
nana is driving me insane. she doesn't respect that when i shut the door and ooen a book, listen to music or turn on the tv before bed time or anytime that i want to be alone. GAH! also she keeps on threatning not to buy the car and i'm like FINE I DON"T CARE...
money is kinda fucked up
but gtg blah bedtime and phone time