[public post]
wow, it really is true that all guys are basically the same. this is so annoying.
but i guess this was bad decision-making on my part. this whole year has been bad decision-making on my part.
i can't help it if your feelings were hurt. i didn't mean to do that but you didn't have to react like you did [although, i guess i expected it]. i should have known better- no, i did know better. but i went against my better judgement and now i'm going to get screwed over because of it. story of my life. school's over- if you don't want to see me anymore then so be it. i'd rather it not be like this but it's not like im gonna lose sleep over it.
oh and awesome brad how bout you and i just get into a fight while we speak because i'd really love to have three of my guy friends mad at me right now. this is just turning into a really great night. [note the sarcasm].
but all this time all i can think about is what you said to me. i'm so confused inside and i just wish it could all be straightened out. it's not what you say/said that hurts, it's what i hear from your friends. it's what i find out after-the-fact. i don't know who to believe anymore and i sure know that there's no one i can trust. this is what i want and i am glad that it worked out this way, but i can't help but anticipate the hurt that's yet to come. barely anyone else knows me like you do and i'm scared that i won't find someone else like that as soon as i'd like to. i'm exercizing self-control and it feels so good and so frustrating at the same time. but i don't like not having someone's hand to hold or someone whose arms i can just be held in and feel at peace inside. [no, wait, i could have that but it's only with you that it would mean something to me]. it's those little things that i know i'll miss the most.
i can't think about this anymore right now. i'm sorry friend about the situation earlier tonight. brad, i'm sorry about the argument but i think we fortunately have it resovled. and you.. i'm just waiting to see what the awkwardness level is going to be like to see just how frustrating this summer is actually going to be.
if there's one thing i've learned from all my past fucked-up relationships, it's to not give a shit about keeping my pride or security protected. because i actually usually end up being the better off one in the end anyway. so i'm going to try to keep that in mind and *gasp* be optimistic. hahaha i suck at optimism so this should be intersting.
i loves you all. more parties tomorrow and forever after.
<3
but i guess this was bad decision-making on my part. this whole year has been bad decision-making on my part.
i can't help it if your feelings were hurt. i didn't mean to do that but you didn't have to react like you did [although, i guess i expected it]. i should have known better- no, i did know better. but i went against my better judgement and now i'm going to get screwed over because of it. story of my life. school's over- if you don't want to see me anymore then so be it. i'd rather it not be like this but it's not like im gonna lose sleep over it.
oh and awesome brad how bout you and i just get into a fight while we speak because i'd really love to have three of my guy friends mad at me right now. this is just turning into a really great night. [note the sarcasm].
but all this time all i can think about is what you said to me. i'm so confused inside and i just wish it could all be straightened out. it's not what you say/said that hurts, it's what i hear from your friends. it's what i find out after-the-fact. i don't know who to believe anymore and i sure know that there's no one i can trust. this is what i want and i am glad that it worked out this way, but i can't help but anticipate the hurt that's yet to come. barely anyone else knows me like you do and i'm scared that i won't find someone else like that as soon as i'd like to. i'm exercizing self-control and it feels so good and so frustrating at the same time. but i don't like not having someone's hand to hold or someone whose arms i can just be held in and feel at peace inside. [no, wait, i could have that but it's only with you that it would mean something to me]. it's those little things that i know i'll miss the most.
i can't think about this anymore right now. i'm sorry friend about the situation earlier tonight. brad, i'm sorry about the argument but i think we fortunately have it resovled. and you.. i'm just waiting to see what the awkwardness level is going to be like to see just how frustrating this summer is actually going to be.
if there's one thing i've learned from all my past fucked-up relationships, it's to not give a shit about keeping my pride or security protected. because i actually usually end up being the better off one in the end anyway. so i'm going to try to keep that in mind and *gasp* be optimistic. hahaha i suck at optimism so this should be intersting.
i loves you all. more parties tomorrow and forever after.
<3