28: [Video] Hot For Teacher
[This program is brought to you by Herpexia: Daily Treatment for Genital Herpes.]
So, uh. It's come to my attention that whenever events roll around, everybody's usually running through the halls like chickens with their friggin' heads cut off. So today we're gonna fix that, 'cause this is what I do for a living.
[It appears that Dean is in the ( Read more... )
So, uh. It's come to my attention that whenever events roll around, everybody's usually running through the halls like chickens with their friggin' heads cut off. So today we're gonna fix that, 'cause this is what I do for a living.
[It appears that Dean is in the ( Read more... )
[ Because if it works here, even a little of it, then he is signing up for this class with the speed of a smashing rock. ]
Reply
Reply
So you've fought stuff here. Monsters.
[ It occurs to him that maybe 'I fight monsters for a living' should be a wild claim - but after more than a year in Wonderland, it's the most reasonable thing in the world. ]
Reply
[Because buddy, he can tell you some stories.]
Reply
I want to know I'm learning stuff that's been tested here. There're monsters from all over, I don't want to use something in the middle of a - an event and find out it doesn't work.
[ If he has a chance to check, it only makes sense to! ]
Reply
[A beat.]
Or those douchebags that sparkle.
Reply
[ Right, that does make sense.
Wait. ]
...Oh god, don't tell me those are here as well.
[ DON'T MAKE HIS LIFE ANY MORE RIDICULOUS. ]
Reply
I know, right? It was only a couple, but that was a few events back when everyone turned into every kind of vampire. The mansion oughta stick to the basics now.
Reply
He's surprised to find that thinking of Amy doesn't make him want to lock himself in the closet and gouge his own heart out. It's just saddening; an ordinary, hollow kind of saddening.
He's surprised to realise that that's the first time he's thought of her in a while.
All this thinking, on the outside, only takes a moment. ]
I stayed human for that, [ he says with a small amount of relief. Alex counts himself lucky there, even if it did mean half the mansion was drooling over his papercuts. ]
I know the obvious stuff didn't work on all of them. There aren't any vampires where I come from, so I went off legends. [ With Tim van Helsing and his hat. Oh god, the hat. ]
Reply
[Not that he cut off Philip's head, or anything. Just wounded him a little.]
One thing the suckers can't stand? Dead man's blood. If they get that in their system, it paralyzes 'em. Just for future reference.
Reply
Blood from a dead guy? [ Getting that would... so not be the worst thing he's ever done, so it doesn't faze him. ] What kinda vampires is that for?
[ Since he doesn't remember that from Nosferatu. And yes, he's totally writing this down. ]
Reply
[Sexy vampires? What are those, anyway? There's nothing sexy about gargling blood while someone chews on your jugular.
...or is there?]
Werewolves aren't actually hairy, either, in case you were wondering.
[Dean chuckles.]
Reply
[ At least the trees don't stalk you. Probably. ]
Reply
[And honestly? He wouldn't. Even though it would mean a normal life, even though it would mean having a whole family instead of a broken one.
It wouldn't be the same.]
Reply
But apart from general spook-repelling lessons, he has a definite goal for this conversation. ]
What about ghosts? Spirits? What if there aren't any remains?
[ Not that he knows exactly what the 0perator is, but let's start with possible basics. ]
Reply
[~The More You Know~]
Reply
Leave a comment