Character Relationships
REALSIDE
Alex Kralie || "Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" || You've got a fun world.
Hello there, slightly-paranoid freak. Mayhaps you should be a bit more vague when asking about monsters and such, because that is really helpful. Dean thinks Alex is a little shifty from their transmissions, but at least he pitched in with the turducken. Nothing brings men together like the manliest of foodstuffs. Alice || "Casper" || You can't tell anyone what you saw.
Dean feels terrible about Alice and how he severed her head horribly. He's also vaguely suspicious of her virus-y thing, because there are enough viruses in this mansion that he has to deal with (Read: one), so he's hoping that this Medusa thing won't kill people or brainwash them or something. Other than that he mostly feels awful that he killed a little girl on life support. Buckingham, Lord || "Fuckingham" || Mister Huntsman, you will have one more chance to provide a frank answer before I grow dangerously tired of your tomfoolery.
Fuckingham needs an attitude adjustment and a rude awakening that he isn't in Kansas anymore, Toto, and should get off his high goddamn horse. He's a threat in poofy pants, which by all logic shouldn't be physically possible. Dave Strider || "Cooler Than An Arctic Wasteland in a Nuclear Winter" || Didn't think I'd run into a guy more obviously virgin than him.
Dean thinks Dave is a smooth customer. He is the coolest of the coolkids, and their combined cool-factor would short-circuit the mansion's electricity and make the light bulbs explode into glass-shattering sparks of fire and sheer awesome. Kurt Hummel || "Tiny Gay Sam" || There are a lot of things you can't do until a certain age, after all.
Kurt was the first person to talk to Dean when he first got to the mansion, and has since then become something of a surrogate little brother in the absence of Sam. He's funny (That might be a by-product of his bitchiness), clever, and opinionated - all traits that Dean can relate to and admire in someone so young. Despite the rather large hiccup in their friendship that Dean refers to as The Kurt Hummel Debacle, he'd still like to think that they're fairly close, even if his flannel shirts aren't haute couture. James Potter || "Young Gandalf" || Are you a "burn them at the stake" sort of fellow?
Dude seems cool enough. The whole "witches and wizards" thing is out of Dean's element since it's so different from what he knows, but as long as James isn't leaving hex bags under people's mattresses, he's in Dean's good books. Marceline (the Vampire Queen) || "Nosferatu's Daughter?" || Now be a gentleman and help a blind girl find a tomato or some jell-o or whatever.
It's really kind of awesome that the undead are populating Wonderland, and Dean respects the whole "been alive for 1000+ years" thing. He gets that she's got some life (death?) experience, and Ooo sounds like a pretty cool place (except for the lack of humans). Dean is also sorry for murdering her horribly with rock-salt and holy water. Mark Meltzer || "Clean-Shaven Bobby" || Typically people research in the library. Or read. Quietly.
Mark Meltzer seems like a neurotic fellow driven by obsession - not that that's a bad thing, but it does make Dean worry about the older man's constitution. He could stand to lighten up a bit when it comes to the library, but since he practically lives there Dean doubts it's ever going to happen. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Dean really appreciates the time spent talking to Mark about fatherhood. Normally it's a tense subject, but the older experience helps. The Medicine Seller || "Dude Looks Like A Lady" || While there is work to do here...there is no reason not to stay.
Dean talks enough for the two of them, so the Medicine Seller's quiet demeanor isn't a problem. The guy looks like a special circus act, but when it comes to the supernatural it's great to have another hunter nearby, making the rounds. At times, Dean feels like he's having rhetorical conversations with himself around the "man." At the very least, the guy has substantial experience with demons. "Simple Medicine Seller", Dean's ass. Philip LaFresque || "The Limey Fruitcake" || Do you hunt outside of the U.S. or is is that just a national service?
Sometimes Dean wonders how they became friends with their glaring differences in opinion and attitude, but then he recalls with some chagrin that supernatural shit is what really brings people together. Despite forever feeling bad about having stabbed Philip's eye out, Dean maintains that they are still close friends and he'd probably do anything for the guy. Except stop mocking him affectionately. That will never happen. Ever. Clarence || "Your Guardian Douchebag" || Hey, Clarence isn't the name of a local charity.
There are not enough words in the English language that Dean could use to describe his hatred and utter loathing for Clarence. If Clarence could manifest in his own form, Dean would snap his neck like a dry twig and burn him on a pyre outside the mansion just to make sure he doesn't come back. He's sick and tired of this bastard worming his way back into everyone's lives, and Dean just wants him to stop making Philip so miserable. Santana Lopez || "That Hot Cheerleader" || Don't you have to let people down all the time? Look at you!
Santana is too smart for her own good, and avoiding her as soon as conversations get heavy is Dean's new go-to plan. She's pretty sensitive for someone who spits out insults like a lucky slot machine spits out nickels. Sollux Captor || "3-D Glasses Kid" || Tho you have all the levelth already.
Poor, poor Sollux. Cursed with a hilarious terrible lisp at the tender age of twelve. There's something painfully hapless about him that makes Dean want to offer his services as a guardian. The kid's got his heart in the right place, if he physically has one as a troll-thing. Terezi Pyrope || "Lady Licks-a-Lot" || DRIVE YOUR STEED!
Terezi is by far the weirdest troll Dean has encountered. Despite wary introductions thanks to her scratch-and-sniff methods - because who licks a car? - Dean likes her. She gets it. It's a trait he can appreciate in a grey, sharp-toothed monster with turquoise drool. MIRRORSIDE Mirror Philip || "Austin Powers, Meet Your Match" || ...So is that a definite no on the threesome, then?
Phil is hilarious, but he definitely needs to learn about boundaries or he'll end up with more than a broken nose. Dean is all for sex, sure, but when the one proposing it is a stoned version of his friend who already gets some form of Dean tail 24/7, the answer is no. Forever. Mirror Santana || "A Terrified Rabbit" || It's so much better to just be nice to people!
Dean wasn't sure that it was possible for Santana to be some kind of innocent schoolgirl, but her mirror proves otherwise. She's so skittish that it's adorable. How she's survived this long on the other side, he'll never know. ELVIS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING Albert Wesker || "Doctor Creeper McCreepenstein" || I am not your "buddy."
This dude was fucking shady. Dean didn't have any initial intentions of keeping an eye on the doctor, but after getting his ass handed to him just for poking at the bespectacled bear, his top priority was to find a way to take this mother down. To China Town. Benny Stango || "And the Jets" || I was a cop back home, so I'm supposed to be a killjoy.
Benny Stango, aka Officer Awesome, had to be the coolest cop that Dean had ever met. Fan of the Rolling Stones, a gruff and hardboiled New Yorker who didn't take your crap; the guy had a good head on his shoulders and he'd probably would've been great to have at your back in a pinch. He also wore an Indiana Jones hat, and that pretty much sealed the deal. Castiel || "Holy Tax Accountant" || I do not perceive any way in which I am being infantile.
Love 'em and leave 'em, eh, Cas? Thought that was Dean's job. Daniel || "Little Lord Fauntleroy" || Men of your era must have the reflexes of cats if they are to steer a carriage which moves at twice almost the speed of a train!
Daniel was an odd Englishman. The gap between them was a lot harder to get through considering Dean's obscene plethora of pop culture references that made no sense whatsoever to someone from 1839, but Daniel's excitement about everything having to do with the future was sort of endearing. Dean's really going to miss him. Diamonds Droog || "Needs to Watch More Movies" || I am a Knight. I don't want a shrubbery.
Cool as a cucumber and a killer pool player (Literally, in more than one way), Droog is one of those tall insectoid people with a shiny exoskeleton that Dean can't completely wrap his head around. He's lacking in the pop culture department which can be easily remedied, but at least he doesn't look at Dean funny for the occasional need for violence. Non-judgmental friends are the best. Elle Driver || "One-Eyed Blonde Babe" || Cut down on the singing and the towel and you've got yourself a subscription.
The lady stabbed his ego with a blunt knife. Honestly, there was so much potential for mind-blowing sex. Markus || "Little Masked Dude" || Just trying to understand. Not used to talking.
Markus was weird, and Dean sort of felt bad for him. He also felt like the guy had been vaguely familiar. Did he see that hoodie on someone else, once? Maybe? Tim || "King of the Grill" || Aren't you supposed to be smoking a celebratory cigarette and maybe eating cheesecake or something?
Tim was a cool dude who made delicious food, and Dean liked that in somebody he could empathize with about torture and mutilation. It was a match made in Heaven the local deli.
Hello there, slightly-paranoid freak. Mayhaps you should be a bit more vague when asking about monsters and such, because that is really helpful. Dean thinks Alex is a little shifty from their transmissions, but at least he pitched in with the turducken. Nothing brings men together like the manliest of foodstuffs. Alice || "Casper" || You can't tell anyone what you saw.
Dean feels terrible about Alice and how he severed her head horribly. He's also vaguely suspicious of her virus-y thing, because there are enough viruses in this mansion that he has to deal with (Read: one), so he's hoping that this Medusa thing won't kill people or brainwash them or something. Other than that he mostly feels awful that he killed a little girl on life support. Buckingham, Lord || "Fuckingham" || Mister Huntsman, you will have one more chance to provide a frank answer before I grow dangerously tired of your tomfoolery.
Fuckingham needs an attitude adjustment and a rude awakening that he isn't in Kansas anymore, Toto, and should get off his high goddamn horse. He's a threat in poofy pants, which by all logic shouldn't be physically possible. Dave Strider || "Cooler Than An Arctic Wasteland in a Nuclear Winter" || Didn't think I'd run into a guy more obviously virgin than him.
Dean thinks Dave is a smooth customer. He is the coolest of the coolkids, and their combined cool-factor would short-circuit the mansion's electricity and make the light bulbs explode into glass-shattering sparks of fire and sheer awesome. Kurt Hummel || "Tiny Gay Sam" || There are a lot of things you can't do until a certain age, after all.
Kurt was the first person to talk to Dean when he first got to the mansion, and has since then become something of a surrogate little brother in the absence of Sam. He's funny (That might be a by-product of his bitchiness), clever, and opinionated - all traits that Dean can relate to and admire in someone so young. Despite the rather large hiccup in their friendship that Dean refers to as The Kurt Hummel Debacle, he'd still like to think that they're fairly close, even if his flannel shirts aren't haute couture. James Potter || "Young Gandalf" || Are you a "burn them at the stake" sort of fellow?
Dude seems cool enough. The whole "witches and wizards" thing is out of Dean's element since it's so different from what he knows, but as long as James isn't leaving hex bags under people's mattresses, he's in Dean's good books. Marceline (the Vampire Queen) || "Nosferatu's Daughter?" || Now be a gentleman and help a blind girl find a tomato or some jell-o or whatever.
It's really kind of awesome that the undead are populating Wonderland, and Dean respects the whole "been alive for 1000+ years" thing. He gets that she's got some life (death?) experience, and Ooo sounds like a pretty cool place (except for the lack of humans). Dean is also sorry for murdering her horribly with rock-salt and holy water. Mark Meltzer || "Clean-Shaven Bobby" || Typically people research in the library. Or read. Quietly.
Mark Meltzer seems like a neurotic fellow driven by obsession - not that that's a bad thing, but it does make Dean worry about the older man's constitution. He could stand to lighten up a bit when it comes to the library, but since he practically lives there Dean doubts it's ever going to happen. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Dean really appreciates the time spent talking to Mark about fatherhood. Normally it's a tense subject, but the older experience helps. The Medicine Seller || "Dude Looks Like A Lady" || While there is work to do here...there is no reason not to stay.
Dean talks enough for the two of them, so the Medicine Seller's quiet demeanor isn't a problem. The guy looks like a special circus act, but when it comes to the supernatural it's great to have another hunter nearby, making the rounds. At times, Dean feels like he's having rhetorical conversations with himself around the "man." At the very least, the guy has substantial experience with demons. "Simple Medicine Seller", Dean's ass. Philip LaFresque || "The Limey Fruitcake" || Do you hunt outside of the U.S. or is is that just a national service?
Sometimes Dean wonders how they became friends with their glaring differences in opinion and attitude, but then he recalls with some chagrin that supernatural shit is what really brings people together. Despite forever feeling bad about having stabbed Philip's eye out, Dean maintains that they are still close friends and he'd probably do anything for the guy. Except stop mocking him affectionately. That will never happen. Ever. Clarence || "Your Guardian Douchebag" || Hey, Clarence isn't the name of a local charity.
There are not enough words in the English language that Dean could use to describe his hatred and utter loathing for Clarence. If Clarence could manifest in his own form, Dean would snap his neck like a dry twig and burn him on a pyre outside the mansion just to make sure he doesn't come back. He's sick and tired of this bastard worming his way back into everyone's lives, and Dean just wants him to stop making Philip so miserable. Santana Lopez || "That Hot Cheerleader" || Don't you have to let people down all the time? Look at you!
Santana is too smart for her own good, and avoiding her as soon as conversations get heavy is Dean's new go-to plan. She's pretty sensitive for someone who spits out insults like a lucky slot machine spits out nickels. Sollux Captor || "3-D Glasses Kid" || Tho you have all the levelth already.
Poor, poor Sollux. Cursed with a hilarious terrible lisp at the tender age of twelve. There's something painfully hapless about him that makes Dean want to offer his services as a guardian. The kid's got his heart in the right place, if he physically has one as a troll-thing. Terezi Pyrope || "Lady Licks-a-Lot" || DRIVE YOUR STEED!
Terezi is by far the weirdest troll Dean has encountered. Despite wary introductions thanks to her scratch-and-sniff methods - because who licks a car? - Dean likes her. She gets it. It's a trait he can appreciate in a grey, sharp-toothed monster with turquoise drool. MIRRORSIDE Mirror Philip || "Austin Powers, Meet Your Match" || ...So is that a definite no on the threesome, then?
Phil is hilarious, but he definitely needs to learn about boundaries or he'll end up with more than a broken nose. Dean is all for sex, sure, but when the one proposing it is a stoned version of his friend who already gets some form of Dean tail 24/7, the answer is no. Forever. Mirror Santana || "A Terrified Rabbit" || It's so much better to just be nice to people!
Dean wasn't sure that it was possible for Santana to be some kind of innocent schoolgirl, but her mirror proves otherwise. She's so skittish that it's adorable. How she's survived this long on the other side, he'll never know. ELVIS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING Albert Wesker || "Doctor Creeper McCreepenstein" || I am not your "buddy."
This dude was fucking shady. Dean didn't have any initial intentions of keeping an eye on the doctor, but after getting his ass handed to him just for poking at the bespectacled bear, his top priority was to find a way to take this mother down. To China Town. Benny Stango || "And the Jets" || I was a cop back home, so I'm supposed to be a killjoy.
Benny Stango, aka Officer Awesome, had to be the coolest cop that Dean had ever met. Fan of the Rolling Stones, a gruff and hardboiled New Yorker who didn't take your crap; the guy had a good head on his shoulders and he'd probably would've been great to have at your back in a pinch. He also wore an Indiana Jones hat, and that pretty much sealed the deal. Castiel || "Holy Tax Accountant" || I do not perceive any way in which I am being infantile.
Love 'em and leave 'em, eh, Cas? Thought that was Dean's job. Daniel || "Little Lord Fauntleroy" || Men of your era must have the reflexes of cats if they are to steer a carriage which moves at twice almost the speed of a train!
Daniel was an odd Englishman. The gap between them was a lot harder to get through considering Dean's obscene plethora of pop culture references that made no sense whatsoever to someone from 1839, but Daniel's excitement about everything having to do with the future was sort of endearing. Dean's really going to miss him. Diamonds Droog || "Needs to Watch More Movies" || I am a Knight. I don't want a shrubbery.
Cool as a cucumber and a killer pool player (Literally, in more than one way), Droog is one of those tall insectoid people with a shiny exoskeleton that Dean can't completely wrap his head around. He's lacking in the pop culture department which can be easily remedied, but at least he doesn't look at Dean funny for the occasional need for violence. Non-judgmental friends are the best. Elle Driver || "One-Eyed Blonde Babe" || Cut down on the singing and the towel and you've got yourself a subscription.
The lady stabbed his ego with a blunt knife. Honestly, there was so much potential for mind-blowing sex. Markus || "Little Masked Dude" || Just trying to understand. Not used to talking.
Markus was weird, and Dean sort of felt bad for him. He also felt like the guy had been vaguely familiar. Did he see that hoodie on someone else, once? Maybe? Tim || "King of the Grill" || Aren't you supposed to be smoking a celebratory cigarette and maybe eating cheesecake or something?
Tim was a cool dude who made delicious food, and Dean liked that in somebody he could empathize with about torture and mutilation. It was a match made in Heaven the local deli.