Living Out Loud
I want to feel alive again. I want to move with purpose once more. I want this caffeine high to never, ever-ever end. It feels good (though my nerves, feel like vicious caged animals) to have this energy, to want to do, to want to be something
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I don't like living the mundane life. I want to break free from it, and it sounds like we're both working on that. We all have to eat and pay rent in the meantime, but we can find small ways to express ourselves and show that we are not one more faceless unit of the masses. Go ahead, do something weird and fun that people around you don't expect. If anything, it will stand out in their minds and make their otherwise typical day a little bit extraordinary. Sing out loud in the streets, bow to the cashier when he gives you your change, speak in one of your famous character voices (remember the D&D games that summer?) to your friends in public. Refuse to be completely ordinary. And at the same time, keep writing. Small things can give you a lift until you first get published and become a best-selling author.
Here's an idea: find something each day that makes your day. It can be as great as getting promoted, or as small as having more fun than you'd expect by whistling a certain song or the look of gratitude on an elderly woman's face when you open a door for her. Realize that there's something each day to make you say, "I'm glad I got out of bed for that." If you reach the end of your day and haven't really found something, try giving someone a long hug of appreciation or calling up someone you haven't talked to in a while.
Making mistakes is hard. I have to deal with my own perfectionism, too, and it's no damn fun. Realize that a mistake is a chance to make it better. An error means you still have room to progress, which is what life is really all about. If you stop making mistakes and become flawless, you wouldn't be able to relate to the rest of the human race! Embrace that you're human, accept that no one is perfect, and continue the ongoing journey of becoming ever awesome-er. You're a talented, intelligent, fun-to-be-around guy and a great friend, and I hope that you never lose sight of that.
Wow, look at that. Didn't mean to write a novella here. Anyway, I know just how you feel, and you have my support.
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