Here goes...
I don't know what to say or how to say it, so I'll write it.
First and foremost- I don't know what I said on Saturday. I apologize for anything outlandish. I was drunk. It brought out the worst in me. This by no means takes back anything I said afterward. I am making the posts from the past year available to friends (I think Ashley is the only one). I am doing this because, I tried doing it in person but it didn't work.
Everything that came out on Saturday came from a year of pain, frustration and anger. I really tried to let his all out, but I see it did let you see the amount of anger I had pent up.
I am not this kind of person, at least I never have been. I have never been so hurt or angry with anyone in my life. The worst part is- I can't put my finger on one specific thing. And no I'm not having a "mental episode" (thanks mom). I have been legitimately angry for a year.
I have been so meek and passive, that I have gone quite unnoticed. I found even if I squeak a little, it doesn't work. So I yelled and that just pissed you off. Since I can't get it right, I can only let you see how affected I have been. Sorry for anything that hurts...but at this point I can't think about that. I can't sleep or smile and that is definitely not who I am.
I don't want to talk right now. The thought of that stresses me out more than not talking. I know I'll be okay to talk at some point, I just don't know when.
So here is the past year or so of my life. Good and bad.
First and foremost- I don't know what I said on Saturday. I apologize for anything outlandish. I was drunk. It brought out the worst in me. This by no means takes back anything I said afterward. I am making the posts from the past year available to friends (I think Ashley is the only one). I am doing this because, I tried doing it in person but it didn't work.
Everything that came out on Saturday came from a year of pain, frustration and anger. I really tried to let his all out, but I see it did let you see the amount of anger I had pent up.
I am not this kind of person, at least I never have been. I have never been so hurt or angry with anyone in my life. The worst part is- I can't put my finger on one specific thing. And no I'm not having a "mental episode" (thanks mom). I have been legitimately angry for a year.
I have been so meek and passive, that I have gone quite unnoticed. I found even if I squeak a little, it doesn't work. So I yelled and that just pissed you off. Since I can't get it right, I can only let you see how affected I have been. Sorry for anything that hurts...but at this point I can't think about that. I can't sleep or smile and that is definitely not who I am.
I don't want to talk right now. The thought of that stresses me out more than not talking. I know I'll be okay to talk at some point, I just don't know when.
So here is the past year or so of my life. Good and bad.