Bitches, come and get some
Life has been a little disappointing lately. Things are not seeming to work out in my favor anymore. I thought once I was financially stable and that stress was gone, things would start looking up for me. Well, not so much. I'm still stressed, but about things that are completely out of my control. I hate, hate, hate, hate not feeling in control.
It's a problem.
There are things to look forward to though. Next Tuesday my brother and I are headed off to a day of laughter and adrenaline and I am so beyond excited about it. Last time I had very memorable and lovely experience with my brother. Honestly, it was a trip to Cedar Point that I will never ever forget.
After that I have a family weekend for my mom's 50th that should rock pretty hardcore. I brewed a beer for it on Sunday. It's especially crafted for my mom. It's names Patty's Half Century Ale. It's a blackberry cream ale. I made this one up, so I hope it's good. We are going to check out getting labels made for it today hopefully. I'm pretty stoked about that.
And despite all these really fun things that I know are going to rock, I'm down and out. But for the first time, I saw Aaron understand how I feel about losing our nephew (because I apparently was skipped over in the coping mechanism area). When we talked about it at dinner on Friday, I got a little teary eyed and he reached for my hand across the table and told me everything was going to be okay. And then on Saturday we watched Juno and I started heaving crying when the adoptive mom picked up that baby. Aaron immediately asked if he should turn it off and stood in front of me to block my view.
Now I am not normally a weepy mess. I swear. It just comes in waves like I realize I hate everyone in the park with their new baby. Or that I hate everyone who can use the term "niece" or "nephew" in the present. But, I digress. The point was that Aaron never really grasped the fact that it's okay to grieve and would always ask me why I was sad, distant or crying. I would normally give him a look of contempt and walk away. I know, not real mature of me. I was tired of having to explain it and he just didn't get it.
But calm down- don't grab your torches to chase him to the town square just yet. He has proven he has feelings folks! Of course I kid a little. But everyone knows Aaron is not the first to show "negative" emotion at all- whether it be anger, sadness or hurt. So I think he actually got to a point where he understands that I need time and need to be coddled every once and a while.
It's a problem.
There are things to look forward to though. Next Tuesday my brother and I are headed off to a day of laughter and adrenaline and I am so beyond excited about it. Last time I had very memorable and lovely experience with my brother. Honestly, it was a trip to Cedar Point that I will never ever forget.
After that I have a family weekend for my mom's 50th that should rock pretty hardcore. I brewed a beer for it on Sunday. It's especially crafted for my mom. It's names Patty's Half Century Ale. It's a blackberry cream ale. I made this one up, so I hope it's good. We are going to check out getting labels made for it today hopefully. I'm pretty stoked about that.
And despite all these really fun things that I know are going to rock, I'm down and out. But for the first time, I saw Aaron understand how I feel about losing our nephew (because I apparently was skipped over in the coping mechanism area). When we talked about it at dinner on Friday, I got a little teary eyed and he reached for my hand across the table and told me everything was going to be okay. And then on Saturday we watched Juno and I started heaving crying when the adoptive mom picked up that baby. Aaron immediately asked if he should turn it off and stood in front of me to block my view.
Now I am not normally a weepy mess. I swear. It just comes in waves like I realize I hate everyone in the park with their new baby. Or that I hate everyone who can use the term "niece" or "nephew" in the present. But, I digress. The point was that Aaron never really grasped the fact that it's okay to grieve and would always ask me why I was sad, distant or crying. I would normally give him a look of contempt and walk away. I know, not real mature of me. I was tired of having to explain it and he just didn't get it.
But calm down- don't grab your torches to chase him to the town square just yet. He has proven he has feelings folks! Of course I kid a little. But everyone knows Aaron is not the first to show "negative" emotion at all- whether it be anger, sadness or hurt. So I think he actually got to a point where he understands that I need time and need to be coddled every once and a while.