I hate the good person I am
Does anyone read this anymore? Does anyone care? Probably not. I bet I could say anything on this nowadays and no one would give a damn. Since there's Facebook and Myspace, there are new and more complicated ways of reaching into other people's lives, right?
So life is.... Yeah, life is. That's about it. It's just there. So many emotions going on in my head right now, I've just stopped caring about them all. It's a funny thing, when you're angry, you react in an... angry way :P Everyone's been angry, so you know exactly what it's like to react to that emotion, and the same can follow suit for all emotions. But no one has a simple solution to when you experience emotional overload. What if you feel nearly all human emotions at once? like a pathos-black hole, everything is brought forth to one spot! How should you react? what's the right way? Some people crash, some explode....me, I just shut it all out. I just...stop caring. If I were to guess the right way of handling it, that's probably as close to the worst way, but it's too hard. If you confront your emotions one at a time the others will cripple you. All at once, and we're talking insanity. So maybe there is no right way, only your way.
So what does this make me? I guess if there was one word to describe me right now, at this time, on this Oct 22nd day of entry the word would be vunerable. There was a time when I felt as if nothing could hurt me. I felt invincible, and I had everything. As a matter of fact, I had been feeling quite invincible for about 3 years. I had everything, and what I didn't have, I didn't know enough about so it was of no concern. After I figured out that college wasn't impossible, and started making friends, all of a sudden anything was possible. Now College is ending, the world I knew, all of it is changing. That small world is going to be over soon. Now I fear nothing is possible. I am alone, I am sad, I am scared. The real world suddenly became all too real. Is there any hope for people like me? I'm so good...so selfless... I care so much for others, only to make sure they are happy. Why do I always put others before me? I know I'm just setting myself up to be trampled in the real world, but I can't help it! Nice guys finish last, always...I've never been anything but a nice guy, and I used to think that my life was high because of that. And maybe it was, but the higher you go, the farther you fall. I don't think I can survive another fall. Yet, I don't think I can be anyone other than me....
Someone help me....
So life is.... Yeah, life is. That's about it. It's just there. So many emotions going on in my head right now, I've just stopped caring about them all. It's a funny thing, when you're angry, you react in an... angry way :P Everyone's been angry, so you know exactly what it's like to react to that emotion, and the same can follow suit for all emotions. But no one has a simple solution to when you experience emotional overload. What if you feel nearly all human emotions at once? like a pathos-black hole, everything is brought forth to one spot! How should you react? what's the right way? Some people crash, some explode....me, I just shut it all out. I just...stop caring. If I were to guess the right way of handling it, that's probably as close to the worst way, but it's too hard. If you confront your emotions one at a time the others will cripple you. All at once, and we're talking insanity. So maybe there is no right way, only your way.
So what does this make me? I guess if there was one word to describe me right now, at this time, on this Oct 22nd day of entry the word would be vunerable. There was a time when I felt as if nothing could hurt me. I felt invincible, and I had everything. As a matter of fact, I had been feeling quite invincible for about 3 years. I had everything, and what I didn't have, I didn't know enough about so it was of no concern. After I figured out that college wasn't impossible, and started making friends, all of a sudden anything was possible. Now College is ending, the world I knew, all of it is changing. That small world is going to be over soon. Now I fear nothing is possible. I am alone, I am sad, I am scared. The real world suddenly became all too real. Is there any hope for people like me? I'm so good...so selfless... I care so much for others, only to make sure they are happy. Why do I always put others before me? I know I'm just setting myself up to be trampled in the real world, but I can't help it! Nice guys finish last, always...I've never been anything but a nice guy, and I used to think that my life was high because of that. And maybe it was, but the higher you go, the farther you fall. I don't think I can survive another fall. Yet, I don't think I can be anyone other than me....
Someone help me....