Note

[darya_kuzina]

I have started to look for information about relationships. So far, things I found...

Advice 1.

No co-dependency. If you have your own problems, the other person is not going to be a solution. Solve your problems yourself

No total independence. No cooperation and splitting up

Aim for Interdependence. Two independent people who act in a collaboration. Two people are happy by themselves

1. Don’t be too clingy
2. Have a social circle
3. Make yourself attractive
4. Be happy by yourself - build your own life
5. Work on yourself, improve yourself
6. Don’t spend too much time together - you get sick of it, bored of it. Have friends and hobbies
7. Be honest
8. You give, you don’t receive

Advice 2.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gh5VhaicC6g

Click to view

Right in the beginning

1. Genuinely know what you want and need in a relationship
2. Select the right person
3. Develop and use the skills right from the beginning

General overview

Find, build, get out of unhealthy relationships

3 skills of Romantic Competence

1. Insight. Awareness, understanding and learning. Who you are, what you need, what you do, what makes you feel good and bad. You know yourself and your be-loved better. You will be able to anticipate positive and negative consequences of your behaviour. Learn from your mistakes and adjust your behaviour in future.
2. Mutuality. Convey your needs in a clear, direct fashion
3. Emotional regulate. Keep your emotions calm and things in prospective. Tolerate your emotions, don’t check your phone and focus on the task you have now. Self-respect and commitment to your own need. Let yourself know that even if you are still depressed, you will be ok. Make yourself feel good about yourself

The more romantically competent you are, the more adaptively you behave