I feel the need to clarify.
I dream of maturity and self dependence. I yearn for growth and understanding, acceptance and knowledge, wisdom and inspiration.
I believe there are different ways to learn about yourself and life, and I believe it is my time to try a new way. Living at home, I was surrounded by friends and family. I depended on them for my happiness, even though I didn't realize it. When I first came to college, I felt as if I were going through withdrawals, I was desperately trying to replace the void in my life, the missing piece. The more I started recognizing what I was doing, the more I wished to change. I should be able to ride a bike without training wheels by now, and I became very upset when I saw that I couldn't. I need my friends, but I also need to learn to function without them. I need to learn how to be happy by myself, even if it is a skill I will rarely use.
I believe this is my time to learn how to be by myself. I thought I had mastered this after being single for over a year, but I can see now that I was never by myself. I don't think it's wise to live your life in solitude, but there are some lessons which can only be learned through lonliness. I want to become a better person than what I've been, and the incessant need to find a boyfriend when I first came to college was the first thing that needed to go. It's hard to try to close off all possibilities for the time being, but I know it's what I need to do for myself. Someday, when I grow up, I will be with someone who will see all I have become and appreciate it.
I believe there are different ways to learn about yourself and life, and I believe it is my time to try a new way. Living at home, I was surrounded by friends and family. I depended on them for my happiness, even though I didn't realize it. When I first came to college, I felt as if I were going through withdrawals, I was desperately trying to replace the void in my life, the missing piece. The more I started recognizing what I was doing, the more I wished to change. I should be able to ride a bike without training wheels by now, and I became very upset when I saw that I couldn't. I need my friends, but I also need to learn to function without them. I need to learn how to be happy by myself, even if it is a skill I will rarely use.
I believe this is my time to learn how to be by myself. I thought I had mastered this after being single for over a year, but I can see now that I was never by myself. I don't think it's wise to live your life in solitude, but there are some lessons which can only be learned through lonliness. I want to become a better person than what I've been, and the incessant need to find a boyfriend when I first came to college was the first thing that needed to go. It's hard to try to close off all possibilities for the time being, but I know it's what I need to do for myself. Someday, when I grow up, I will be with someone who will see all I have become and appreciate it.