An Eye for a TMIhairyearsMay 22 2009, 19:26:44 UTC
Too Much Information..? Never! No, I'm a geek with a filthy mind and I can make punitive puns of anything . And, in a recent development, repulsive limericks...
Let's just say that I look forward to the day when National Security Considerations render constipation a detainable 'Suspicious Behaviour' or an outright criminal act under the Home Secretary's discretionary powers, in a hastily-conceived response to fears that 'extremists' are involved in a dastardly dietary conspiracy to cause injury to policemen and damage to property, by providing a hidden supply of dangerous hand-thrown missiles to disaffected inner-city youths.
Too much to believe?
It's only a matter of time before Fox News and The Daily Mail report a triumphant press conference, in which the Home Secretary congratulates the Anti-Terrorist branch and the Met for foiling a constipated plot to endanger civil aircraft in Mid-Atlantic...
Picture the Orwellian dystopia of travelling by air thereafter: you thought taking off your shoes was bad; but things can get much, much worse that that.
Stop-and-Search in London will become a terrifying ordeal (although the city may become a magnet for high-spending tourists with unusual proclivities) and anyone who becomes a 'Person of Interest' will be ordered to report to their local Police station every 24 hours, to receive a supervised dose of an apocalyptic laxative before being bundled out onto the street to rush home. Or walk very, very carefully home.
At least there will now be some practical purpose to those ridiculous baggy-arsed trousers that delinquent teenagers are wearing everywhere these days.
Too Much Information..? Never! No, I'm a geek with a filthy mind and I can make punitive puns of anything . And, in a recent development, repulsive limericks...
Let's just say that I look forward to the day when National Security Considerations render constipation a detainable 'Suspicious Behaviour' or an outright criminal act under the Home Secretary's discretionary powers, in a hastily-conceived response to fears that 'extremists' are involved in a dastardly dietary conspiracy to cause injury to policemen and damage to property, by providing a hidden supply of dangerous hand-thrown missiles to disaffected inner-city youths.
Too much to believe?
It's only a matter of time before Fox News and The Daily Mail report a triumphant press conference, in which the Home Secretary congratulates the Anti-Terrorist branch and the Met for foiling a constipated plot to endanger civil aircraft in Mid-Atlantic...
Picture the Orwellian dystopia of travelling by air thereafter: you thought taking off your shoes was bad; but things can get much, much worse that that.
Stop-and-Search in London will become a terrifying ordeal (although the city may become a magnet for high-spending tourists with unusual proclivities) and anyone who becomes a 'Person of Interest' will be ordered to report to their local Police station every 24 hours, to receive a supervised dose of an apocalyptic laxative before being bundled out onto the street to rush home. Or walk very, very carefully home.
At least there will now be some practical purpose to those ridiculous baggy-arsed trousers that delinquent teenagers are wearing everywhere these days.
Reply
Leave a comment