army commercials are complete lies
i don't know why i was thinking about ryan last night, but i have been doing so for the past few days. not in a longing sort of way at all...just in a "i wonder how he is" sort of way. truth be told, i do, in fact, miss him-- but our friendship, mostly. just having him there to always talk to. of course, i will never have that back & i will never try to, but it bares noting that i am at that point now.
i kind of internet stalked him & went through three different people's myspace friend pages to find his myspace. i was just looking for some indication of how he is doing these days, & lo, i saw photos of him with his new girlfriend. seeing that made me feel so happy, so light inside. like i'd been carrying around some sort of imaginary weight, some guilt i still had at hurting him so badly. it's gone now because i know he's going to be all right.
i sent to him :
you seem to be happy now.
i am glad of that.
& he replied :
Megan,
A trillion things have changed since last November. I have grown in ways that I didn't think I could, and I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but you helped me realize that. I always wondered if I would ever get the chance to tell you, but I guess I'm doing it right now. I hope things are awesome with you.
i kind of internet stalked him & went through three different people's myspace friend pages to find his myspace. i was just looking for some indication of how he is doing these days, & lo, i saw photos of him with his new girlfriend. seeing that made me feel so happy, so light inside. like i'd been carrying around some sort of imaginary weight, some guilt i still had at hurting him so badly. it's gone now because i know he's going to be all right.
i sent to him :
you seem to be happy now.
i am glad of that.
& he replied :
Megan,
A trillion things have changed since last November. I have grown in ways that I didn't think I could, and I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but you helped me realize that. I always wondered if I would ever get the chance to tell you, but I guess I'm doing it right now. I hope things are awesome with you.