(no subject)

[darv]

So I'm back
here
after so long away from this
place
and I'm blurry and seeing so many of all this
I can't believe I'm saying
things and doing them too
these things that I thought would kill me
I don't think are making me stronger
stronger than i was... stronger cause I don't run and ruin
weaker cause... weaker cause it's all not here
all not there
not all there
I miss it
when I was coherent
I miss you and them and me
and us
but it's not so much us
as it is you
and how you aren't here to talk to
but still there
not there
here