Life in southern Sweden
Honestly, I have to be the worst blogger ever. Not only do I refrain from actually writing in my blog, but when I do, I mostly rant about completely uninteresting things. Such as studies, worries, pneumonia and cows. I think I have mentioned cows at least three times, and that, my friends, are way too many times.
Yes. Now I have mentioned cows FOUR times.
I'm back in Ljungby, working at the largest art museum in town. It's so much fun!
During the days, when I'm not working, I read books - I've reread the Harry Potter books and I've managed to finish book two of the sci-fi series Vatta's War by brilliant author Elizabeth Moon - I take bicycle tours, visit relatives, go to storytelling festivals, meet up with old roleplaying friends, go for long walks, pet cows, eat nutritious food, drive around in the family car, hate my life, watch films with Mum and Dad, take swims in the local lake...
WHOA. Hold on a minute. Did I just write "hate my life"? I can't imagine why. Or wait, can I?
Can it possibly be that I like it so much here that I don't really want to go back? When I think about Uppsala, all I see before my eyes is... stress and suffering.
I strongly dislike stress. I dislike feeling as if I have to do something all the time. I dislike feeling as if buried in the ground in a coffin two sizes too small. I dislike having to pretend that I feel good all the time and I dislike feeling as if people talk about you behind your back.
I dislike disliking myself.
However, I do like it here.
In fact... I have stopped throwing up because I don't feel sick all the time anymore. I have stopped crying at night. I have stopped staying up all night. My pulse has slowed considerably. I laugh again.
I do realise that I have to return to Uppsala. I just don't look forward to it anymore.
Actually... Minutes ago I was perfectly happy. Thrilled, even. I thought going back to Uppsala would be a piece of cake. But something always has to happen. Never mind what. When things look good... you know that someone just has to kick you down (not literally speaking), or that something comes up that changes things to the worse.
Now I don't know where to go.
So come on and let me know... Should I stay or should I go?
Yes. Now I have mentioned cows FOUR times.
I'm back in Ljungby, working at the largest art museum in town. It's so much fun!
During the days, when I'm not working, I read books - I've reread the Harry Potter books and I've managed to finish book two of the sci-fi series Vatta's War by brilliant author Elizabeth Moon - I take bicycle tours, visit relatives, go to storytelling festivals, meet up with old roleplaying friends, go for long walks, pet cows, eat nutritious food, drive around in the family car, hate my life, watch films with Mum and Dad, take swims in the local lake...
WHOA. Hold on a minute. Did I just write "hate my life"? I can't imagine why. Or wait, can I?
Can it possibly be that I like it so much here that I don't really want to go back? When I think about Uppsala, all I see before my eyes is... stress and suffering.
I strongly dislike stress. I dislike feeling as if I have to do something all the time. I dislike feeling as if buried in the ground in a coffin two sizes too small. I dislike having to pretend that I feel good all the time and I dislike feeling as if people talk about you behind your back.
I dislike disliking myself.
However, I do like it here.
In fact... I have stopped throwing up because I don't feel sick all the time anymore. I have stopped crying at night. I have stopped staying up all night. My pulse has slowed considerably. I laugh again.
I do realise that I have to return to Uppsala. I just don't look forward to it anymore.
Actually... Minutes ago I was perfectly happy. Thrilled, even. I thought going back to Uppsala would be a piece of cake. But something always has to happen. Never mind what. When things look good... you know that someone just has to kick you down (not literally speaking), or that something comes up that changes things to the worse.
Now I don't know where to go.
So come on and let me know... Should I stay or should I go?