im fed up.
go figure. as soon as i say everything's going well. it crashes again.
I don't know why I'm so sensative. I mean...I'm not on my period or anything. Just genuinely upset.
last night i get all dressed up, do my hair, obviously spent some time on it. stephen helped, of course. and david walks up and says "im the only one that doesn't look nice."...................not "you look pretty, i like your hair, nice outfit" nothing. until stephen tells him to behind me, as david's doing the "half-hug" that pisses me off more than....well...just about anything. unfortunately i turn around and see stephen pointing to the hair. so now when he says it...it means nothing.
nothing at all.
i thought it was common sense to compliment your girlfriend when she looks pretty an d you can tell she tried.
guess not.
now, all of the above i could have gotten over. wanna know how? A simple recognition by my boyfriend who hurt me, that he hurt me and he's sorry. a hug and an "im sorry". thats IT.
did that happen?
hahhahaha
no.
it took two hours for him to even hold my hand in comfort. so, being the pushover i am i just took that as all i'd get and lowered my standards for apologies and put on my happy face.
all the while every single other person noticed. kendal, talked to me about it, sk bought me a kit kat, chris told me to stop being so excited. dan, who by the way i've only hung out with maybe 7 times in my life, even told me to get happy. each of them tried to make me feel better...and i feel bad because it doesn't. not at least to the extent that hug or something would. which is horrible. i wish it was enough, but for some reason....it isn't. and im sorry to you guys. i do appreciate it though. really.
how is it possible that david wouldnt' notice any of this? its not. he knows. but is too scared? snotty? dumb? to do anything about it. which makes it all worse.
because all i want is a hug that means something.
I don't know why I'm so sensative. I mean...I'm not on my period or anything. Just genuinely upset.
last night i get all dressed up, do my hair, obviously spent some time on it. stephen helped, of course. and david walks up and says "im the only one that doesn't look nice."...................not "you look pretty, i like your hair, nice outfit" nothing. until stephen tells him to behind me, as david's doing the "half-hug" that pisses me off more than....well...just about anything. unfortunately i turn around and see stephen pointing to the hair. so now when he says it...it means nothing.
nothing at all.
i thought it was common sense to compliment your girlfriend when she looks pretty an d you can tell she tried.
guess not.
now, all of the above i could have gotten over. wanna know how? A simple recognition by my boyfriend who hurt me, that he hurt me and he's sorry. a hug and an "im sorry". thats IT.
did that happen?
hahhahaha
no.
it took two hours for him to even hold my hand in comfort. so, being the pushover i am i just took that as all i'd get and lowered my standards for apologies and put on my happy face.
all the while every single other person noticed. kendal, talked to me about it, sk bought me a kit kat, chris told me to stop being so excited. dan, who by the way i've only hung out with maybe 7 times in my life, even told me to get happy. each of them tried to make me feel better...and i feel bad because it doesn't. not at least to the extent that hug or something would. which is horrible. i wish it was enough, but for some reason....it isn't. and im sorry to you guys. i do appreciate it though. really.
how is it possible that david wouldnt' notice any of this? its not. he knows. but is too scared? snotty? dumb? to do anything about it. which makes it all worse.
because all i want is a hug that means something.