problem solved
While I was dithering about Kid Birthstone rings, it also occurred to me that I can sometimes be a difficult person to get presents for. One of the ways I show love (although I think my main way is Acts Of Service) is by giving gifts, carefully observing what a person lacks or envies or compliments or wants but doesn't buy for themself. But I also have a frustrating combination of (a) not really feeling like Gift-Giving Occasions matter that much (or at least not feeling like they should) and (b) appreciating a good present, one criterion for which is that the recipient is not specifically expecting it. This is why it's never really been comfortable for me to tell my loved ones what I want for Christmas. Only there isn't a lot that I need or even really want that I can't just get myself. And I know that's actually a tiresome person to live with, because that was a huge complaint I had w/r/t my dad for a number of years - the man's birthday was the same week as Christmas and we tried for years to declare a moratorium on his buying himself things from mid-November onwards, with only slightly limited success.
Side note: I remember a couple of years ago saying I knew there were things that had driven me bats about my father, but in the days following the anniversary of his death I couldn't remember what they were - that is, I could remember the feeling, but not the trigger, although honestly I didn't really want to try. But this! This was one of them.
So in the interest of Being Less Like My Dad In The Ways I Always Wished He Would Change, I thought - this ring I'm after would be an excellent birthday present from Himself, wouldn't it! And I can even solve the problem of not wanting to feel like I'm placing an order for a gift by showing him the three things I can't decide among and letting him choose! Two problems solved! I've been sort of role-playing in my head trying to anticipate my reaction to each one, in case it's the one he picks - in the model of tossing a coin and then making your decision based on whether you were disappointed by the outcome - to see if I'm like secretly hoping he picks one or doesn't pick another, and I really don't think I am, because whatever he picks will be extra meaningful to me because he's the one who picked it. Three problems solved!
I was going to do a Gordian Knot joke here but I can't think of one.
Side note: I remember a couple of years ago saying I knew there were things that had driven me bats about my father, but in the days following the anniversary of his death I couldn't remember what they were - that is, I could remember the feeling, but not the trigger, although honestly I didn't really want to try. But this! This was one of them.
So in the interest of Being Less Like My Dad In The Ways I Always Wished He Would Change, I thought - this ring I'm after would be an excellent birthday present from Himself, wouldn't it! And I can even solve the problem of not wanting to feel like I'm placing an order for a gift by showing him the three things I can't decide among and letting him choose! Two problems solved! I've been sort of role-playing in my head trying to anticipate my reaction to each one, in case it's the one he picks - in the model of tossing a coin and then making your decision based on whether you were disappointed by the outcome - to see if I'm like secretly hoping he picks one or doesn't pick another, and I really don't think I am, because whatever he picks will be extra meaningful to me because he's the one who picked it. Three problems solved!
I was going to do a Gordian Knot joke here but I can't think of one.