coming and going
Let me say up front that my new commute is a marvelous thing. From my front door to the metro platform waiting for the train is a walk of about twenty minutes, and then I'm on the train for about half an hour and the station is half a block from my office. Coming home the train journey is the same and the walk takes a hair longer because I stand on the way up the long escalator I walked down in the morning. (But the little bit of the walk that's uphill in the morning is downhill in the evening, of course.)
Here's the thing, though: on the walk home from the train, almost every day I find myself thinking about my dad. Not that I don't think of him all the time, I mean, he's always with me even when I'm not specifically thinking of something he used to do or say, but for some reason the walk home brings him to the forefront of my mind more days than not. (I'd guess it was because I'm going past the big hospital, but I go past it in the morning too and I'm not aware of this happening to me in the mornings.)
And of course thinking about him makes me sad.
Other times, I'm sort of generally tired and worn out and feeling sort of fragile because of it; and feeling that way is like having "sad" on speed-dial.
And being sad makes me think of my dad.
I can't win.
Here's the thing, though: on the walk home from the train, almost every day I find myself thinking about my dad. Not that I don't think of him all the time, I mean, he's always with me even when I'm not specifically thinking of something he used to do or say, but for some reason the walk home brings him to the forefront of my mind more days than not. (I'd guess it was because I'm going past the big hospital, but I go past it in the morning too and I'm not aware of this happening to me in the mornings.)
And of course thinking about him makes me sad.
Other times, I'm sort of generally tired and worn out and feeling sort of fragile because of it; and feeling that way is like having "sad" on speed-dial.
And being sad makes me think of my dad.
I can't win.