longest night
Today is my father's birthday.
A couple of weeks ago, a few days into December, I noticed that I hadn't posted since the end of November; some time in the first week of the month I decided that this month I would post only on my own LJversary and on my dad's birthday. Something about that being the only two days with activity on my calendar here seemed right to me.
He always stayed up until midnight the night before and the night of his birthday, so he could see it in and see it out. ... I thought about doing this, but then consciously decided not to.
I brought gelt to give to the choir at our Lessons & Carols service, which happened to be on the first night of Hanukkah. (I couldn't find any gelt at Wegmans, but there was a ton of it at Harris Teeter, whose logo is a loaf and a fish. Go figure.) Made a little homily about the miracle of the oil teaching us that whatever you've got, Someone will make sure it's enough, just as when we're about to collapse from Can't there might be e.g. a choir's worth of people helping to hold us up. That's not usually what the miracle of the oil teaches, sure, but it worked and I think they were glad that I said out loud how much I appreciate their support.
In the meantime, I've been (mostly*) doing okay in the hanging-in-there area. There's been nasty cold stuff going around my office and I think I've had it twice, but what can you do. Last week I had what felt like a bruise on my head, just above and behind my right ear - I discovered it in the shower, when I was working shampoo through my hair - but the Gentleman Caller couldn't see anything suggesting it was a bruise or a proto-zit, and we concluded it was (as the girl sitting next to me in chorus had suggested) that it was down to muscle tension. And sure enough, Tuesday morning, the first day I was done with concerts, it felt much better, which failed to astonish me. Yesterday I felt like absolute utter crap, but then it rained, so hey.
Oh - hi [again, I guess] to the new people from
kouredios' friending meme! I'm glad you're here, if this is where you want to be. As I mentioned in my comment over in the meme, my father died recently (28 October), so this has been a kind of unusual season, at the end of a kind of unusual year, for me. I expect I'll be back to something resembling my old fun self some time relatively soon.
*In the midst of the high-stress stress-fest that was concert week, last Thursday I was in a wretched bad mood for mainly rehearsal-related reasons; my Wednesday rehearsal had gone late, and my Friday rehearsal a) meant I couldn't go to either of GC's concerts, since they were Friday evening and Saturday during my own concert, and b) got kicked out of our space for half the time due to a conflict which never would have been an issue if they'd put our last rehearsal on Thursday like they always used to do, in which event I'd also have been able to go to GC's concert on Friday, so see why my mood might have been rotten? Plus, when I went over to GC's to bring him his tickets to my concert, he gently drew out of me that I was also in a cranky mood because I was sad to be missing my dad. ... Where I am now is, from time to time something will happen that reminds me, not that I had forgotten, but that brings it to the forefront again; or I'll see a family picture; or both; and then I'll experience a very strange sensation of not really understanding how it can possibly be that he's gone. Often the next thing that happens is a vivid memory of having been right there when it happened, which is doubtless some part of my subconscious trying to be helpful and failing. (It's probably the superego. She's always been well-intentioned but inept.) I'm sure that's one of the intermediate stages of grief - it doesn't look to me like guilt or anger or bargaining, but it's clearly denial warring with acceptance up in there somewhere.
My new year's cards are en route and all the postage I need is here. My gifts are bought for Gentleman Caller and my mother and his mother, but I have no gifts for the rest of either of our families. At least for my family I - we - have until MLKmas to sort them out. His stepdad and aunt will be there on Tuesday and I must think of something. [ponder]
My mother is coming for Christmas, after previously having decided not to. We're all pleased about this. I have a grocery list that includes a four-pound center-cut beef tenderloin. There's going to be some delicious Yorkshire pudding. Rock on.
Yuletides I have known:
2004:
Fortune's Fool
Romeo and Juliet
Romeo/Mercutio
My first Yuletide, and arguably still my best. I mean, yes, it's the most-recommended of my Yuletide fics; but it's also a mini-play (five scenes instead of five acts), with verse and prose in all the right places, and a sonnet and a soliloquy and a rhymed couplet, all the things you need in Shakespeare pastiche, and Stoppard-style interweaving of the Real Text with my Meanwhile stuff, and some shout-outs that I was quite pleased with and still am (Mercutio's brother Valentine is the same Valentine as in Two Gentlemen of Verona; some fun punwork; a distractor that made people think
ellen_fremedon had written it; and, my personal favorite, "Life. Prithee, do not speak to me of life.").
The Comte d'Anjou, or, It's All Gone Pear-Shaped
A Knight's Tale
Count Adhemar, William Thatcher, Edward the Black Prince, Chaucer/Wat
A pinch-hit! The pun in the title may have been the cleverest thing about it, but it was fun.
2005:
Also Ran
Chariots of Fire
Lord Andrew Lindsay/Harold Abrahams
I drew an assignment in 2005 where I matched on two requests, and thank god!, because I got a page and a half into a Hamlet story I was really excited about and ran aground. Urgh. But there was still Chariots of Fire, one of my favorite movies. I think there's almost nothing I would change about this story, and I'm especially fond of the title.
2006:
Secret Lives of the Cast of Galaxy Quest
Galaxy Quest
This is a collection of vignettes about the cast of "Galaxy Quest" the TV show, which is all I could come up with in advance of the deadline in another music-heavy winter. But I still like it!
2007:
Other People's Battles
Willow
Madmartigan/Airk
Aw, man, I sweated bullets over this one. I think I've owed my betas more for getting this fic done than any other.
2008:
If, If Not, If Only
Chariots of Fire
This was the first time I'd drawn an assignment where I matched on something I'd written before, and it pretty much convinced me that I shouldn't offer things I've written before unless I have a very good reason for doing so. I finally hit the three-things-that-never-happened-to-Eric-Liddell concept, but it was a lot of work to get there, and after doing almost all of the work Something Happened that I found very disheartening. Fortunately Yuletide was not utterly ruined, and I'm still quite pleased with this fic, too, especially the voices.
2009:
Breaking Down is Hard to Do
Sports Night
Dan/Casey
My showww!
2010:
Proverbs 31:29
Anne of Green Gables
The recipient particularly wanted something focusing on female characters, possibly even f/f if I remember correctly, and I got stuck on Marilla Cuthbert/Rachel Lynde and couldn't get away - which is a challenge, I think you'll agree! I'm very pleased with this story, though for a change I hate the title.
Last year my dad had just been diagnosed when signups rolled around, and this year he had just died when signups were closing, so both times I think I made the right decision not participating. But I hope to be back next year.
We went to see The Hobbit on Tuesday, not having been able or much inclined to do so in the opening weekend. (Side note: I keep humming, "Gonna take an unexpected journey/ Gonna set my heart at ease". Can anyone help?) Himself made a slight noise when the voiceover said "In a hole in the ground there lived a Hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole," etc., and I glanced over and he was making his okay-I-give-up-I-am-in-fact-crying-a-little face. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
I am eagerly awaiting the Christmas specials of Downton Abbey (there is one, isn't there?) and Doctor Who. My dad was really enjoying Downton Abbey, and in October I'd downloaded the first however-many episodes of season 3 for him to watch on his computer - they haven't come on PBS, obviously, even now, and getting the tunnel set up on his iPad just wasn't working - but he never got to it. I'm a little bit sorry he didn't get to enjoy the last few hours of it that were (in its way) available for him to enjoy, but I'm a little bit glad that he didn't know about [spoiler]. It would have just made him cry, and I'm glad his last experience of the show was not a sad one.
I may have had something else, but if so, I've forgotten it. Hm, so, well then. See you all (well - I'll still be reading and commenting, but I'll see you all here) in January.
A couple of weeks ago, a few days into December, I noticed that I hadn't posted since the end of November; some time in the first week of the month I decided that this month I would post only on my own LJversary and on my dad's birthday. Something about that being the only two days with activity on my calendar here seemed right to me.
He always stayed up until midnight the night before and the night of his birthday, so he could see it in and see it out. ... I thought about doing this, but then consciously decided not to.
I brought gelt to give to the choir at our Lessons & Carols service, which happened to be on the first night of Hanukkah. (I couldn't find any gelt at Wegmans, but there was a ton of it at Harris Teeter, whose logo is a loaf and a fish. Go figure.) Made a little homily about the miracle of the oil teaching us that whatever you've got, Someone will make sure it's enough, just as when we're about to collapse from Can't there might be e.g. a choir's worth of people helping to hold us up. That's not usually what the miracle of the oil teaches, sure, but it worked and I think they were glad that I said out loud how much I appreciate their support.
In the meantime, I've been (mostly*) doing okay in the hanging-in-there area. There's been nasty cold stuff going around my office and I think I've had it twice, but what can you do. Last week I had what felt like a bruise on my head, just above and behind my right ear - I discovered it in the shower, when I was working shampoo through my hair - but the Gentleman Caller couldn't see anything suggesting it was a bruise or a proto-zit, and we concluded it was (as the girl sitting next to me in chorus had suggested) that it was down to muscle tension. And sure enough, Tuesday morning, the first day I was done with concerts, it felt much better, which failed to astonish me. Yesterday I felt like absolute utter crap, but then it rained, so hey.
Oh - hi [again, I guess] to the new people from
kouredios' friending meme! I'm glad you're here, if this is where you want to be. As I mentioned in my comment over in the meme, my father died recently (28 October), so this has been a kind of unusual season, at the end of a kind of unusual year, for me. I expect I'll be back to something resembling my old fun self some time relatively soon.
*In the midst of the high-stress stress-fest that was concert week, last Thursday I was in a wretched bad mood for mainly rehearsal-related reasons; my Wednesday rehearsal had gone late, and my Friday rehearsal a) meant I couldn't go to either of GC's concerts, since they were Friday evening and Saturday during my own concert, and b) got kicked out of our space for half the time due to a conflict which never would have been an issue if they'd put our last rehearsal on Thursday like they always used to do, in which event I'd also have been able to go to GC's concert on Friday, so see why my mood might have been rotten? Plus, when I went over to GC's to bring him his tickets to my concert, he gently drew out of me that I was also in a cranky mood because I was sad to be missing my dad. ... Where I am now is, from time to time something will happen that reminds me, not that I had forgotten, but that brings it to the forefront again; or I'll see a family picture; or both; and then I'll experience a very strange sensation of not really understanding how it can possibly be that he's gone. Often the next thing that happens is a vivid memory of having been right there when it happened, which is doubtless some part of my subconscious trying to be helpful and failing. (It's probably the superego. She's always been well-intentioned but inept.) I'm sure that's one of the intermediate stages of grief - it doesn't look to me like guilt or anger or bargaining, but it's clearly denial warring with acceptance up in there somewhere.
My new year's cards are en route and all the postage I need is here. My gifts are bought for Gentleman Caller and my mother and his mother, but I have no gifts for the rest of either of our families. At least for my family I - we - have until MLKmas to sort them out. His stepdad and aunt will be there on Tuesday and I must think of something. [ponder]
My mother is coming for Christmas, after previously having decided not to. We're all pleased about this. I have a grocery list that includes a four-pound center-cut beef tenderloin. There's going to be some delicious Yorkshire pudding. Rock on.
Yuletides I have known:
2004:
Fortune's Fool
Romeo and Juliet
Romeo/Mercutio
My first Yuletide, and arguably still my best. I mean, yes, it's the most-recommended of my Yuletide fics; but it's also a mini-play (five scenes instead of five acts), with verse and prose in all the right places, and a sonnet and a soliloquy and a rhymed couplet, all the things you need in Shakespeare pastiche, and Stoppard-style interweaving of the Real Text with my Meanwhile stuff, and some shout-outs that I was quite pleased with and still am (Mercutio's brother Valentine is the same Valentine as in Two Gentlemen of Verona; some fun punwork; a distractor that made people think
ellen_fremedon had written it; and, my personal favorite, "Life. Prithee, do not speak to me of life.").
The Comte d'Anjou, or, It's All Gone Pear-Shaped
A Knight's Tale
Count Adhemar, William Thatcher, Edward the Black Prince, Chaucer/Wat
A pinch-hit! The pun in the title may have been the cleverest thing about it, but it was fun.
2005:
Also Ran
Chariots of Fire
Lord Andrew Lindsay/Harold Abrahams
I drew an assignment in 2005 where I matched on two requests, and thank god!, because I got a page and a half into a Hamlet story I was really excited about and ran aground. Urgh. But there was still Chariots of Fire, one of my favorite movies. I think there's almost nothing I would change about this story, and I'm especially fond of the title.
2006:
Secret Lives of the Cast of Galaxy Quest
Galaxy Quest
This is a collection of vignettes about the cast of "Galaxy Quest" the TV show, which is all I could come up with in advance of the deadline in another music-heavy winter. But I still like it!
2007:
Other People's Battles
Willow
Madmartigan/Airk
Aw, man, I sweated bullets over this one. I think I've owed my betas more for getting this fic done than any other.
2008:
If, If Not, If Only
Chariots of Fire
This was the first time I'd drawn an assignment where I matched on something I'd written before, and it pretty much convinced me that I shouldn't offer things I've written before unless I have a very good reason for doing so. I finally hit the three-things-that-never-happened-to-Eric-Liddell concept, but it was a lot of work to get there, and after doing almost all of the work Something Happened that I found very disheartening. Fortunately Yuletide was not utterly ruined, and I'm still quite pleased with this fic, too, especially the voices.
2009:
Breaking Down is Hard to Do
Sports Night
Dan/Casey
My showww!
2010:
Proverbs 31:29
Anne of Green Gables
The recipient particularly wanted something focusing on female characters, possibly even f/f if I remember correctly, and I got stuck on Marilla Cuthbert/Rachel Lynde and couldn't get away - which is a challenge, I think you'll agree! I'm very pleased with this story, though for a change I hate the title.
Last year my dad had just been diagnosed when signups rolled around, and this year he had just died when signups were closing, so both times I think I made the right decision not participating. But I hope to be back next year.
We went to see The Hobbit on Tuesday, not having been able or much inclined to do so in the opening weekend. (Side note: I keep humming, "Gonna take an unexpected journey/ Gonna set my heart at ease". Can anyone help?) Himself made a slight noise when the voiceover said "In a hole in the ground there lived a Hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole," etc., and I glanced over and he was making his okay-I-give-up-I-am-in-fact-crying-a-little face. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
I am eagerly awaiting the Christmas specials of Downton Abbey (there is one, isn't there?) and Doctor Who. My dad was really enjoying Downton Abbey, and in October I'd downloaded the first however-many episodes of season 3 for him to watch on his computer - they haven't come on PBS, obviously, even now, and getting the tunnel set up on his iPad just wasn't working - but he never got to it. I'm a little bit sorry he didn't get to enjoy the last few hours of it that were (in its way) available for him to enjoy, but I'm a little bit glad that he didn't know about [spoiler]. It would have just made him cry, and I'm glad his last experience of the show was not a sad one.
I may have had something else, but if so, I've forgotten it. Hm, so, well then. See you all (well - I'll still be reading and commenting, but I'll see you all here) in January.