MfWAT: To Look But Not to Touch
Memories from Western Air Temple
Chapter Title: To Look But Not to Touch
Characters: Ty Lee, Mai, Azula, Zuko, Aang
Arc: Unity Arc
Setting: after No More Running, before We Could Die Tomorrow
Rating: K+
Warnings: lots and lots of character interpretation, and is that Ty Zula I spot there?
Summary: The four of them interacted by a set of specific rules. The most important rule of all was: ‘look but don’t touch.’
Ty Lee felt torn. On one hand, she was truly happy to see Zuko again; she had always rather liked the broody prince. On the other hand, however, now Mai was hurt, and it was because of them meeting Zuko. Expressing her happiness over finding Zuko had been easy, but then Zuko and Mai had…broken up… and suddenly Ty Lee felt like it was her duty to uphold some resemblance of normalcy for Mai’s sake, but suddenly it was hard to keep up her usual cheer when it was something she had to do.
It seemed that the other two were also aware of the need for a change in mood, as they had both averted their gazes to the ground. Still, Ty Lee didn’t think either of them would really do anything about the mood, and that’s why she was so surprised when Zuko spoke out, even though his tone was hesitant.
“Azula is also here.” There was an unspoken question in the statement, but it wasn’t directed at Mai. Zuko’s golden eyes were looking at Ty Lee.
Zuko knew Mai, as did Ty Lee. They both knew what Mai’s response would have been, because they knew her personality. Mai was deliberately distant; each and every action she ever took was carefully measured, meaning nothing but what she claimed it to mean. She had settled her affairs with Azula; that much had been clear the moment Azula used past tense for their relationship.
‘You should have feared me more,’ was what Azula had said. Azula rarely made mistakes when she observed people so she understood the meaning of Mai’s betrayal the moment Mai had spoken against her even though she hadn’t seen it coming. Mai and Azula were both through with each other. Ty Lee, however, felt that she needed to have proper closure, that she wanted to explain even if Azula refused to listen or understand.
A nod was all Ty Lee managed in response, but it was all Zuko needed, and the firebender turned away with the clear intention of leading the way.
Mai followed the two of them for no other reason than to not be left alone on unfamiliar territory. At first Ty Lee was glad for the ease with which the two of them stuck together, but she soon came to regret it.
On the way, the three of them were intercepted by the Avatar. At the sight of the boy an easy smile came to Zuko’s lips even as the firebender teased the other over sleeping in.
The reason Ty Lee was watching the Avatar so closely in the first place was simply because she had never really gotten the chance to look at the elusive airbender properly. The first thing she decided about the boy was that she really liked his smile and it seemed that Zuko did too, with the way the prince’s smile brightened in face of it.
“Aang, these are Ty Lee and Mai.” It should have been awkward for Zuko to say that, to introduce them with their history. Perhaps it would have been awkward before, but now the Avatar’s, Aang’s, presence seemed to bring out something in Zuko that was genuine. “Mai, Ty Lee, this is Aang.”
Knowing how terrible Mai was in such situations, Ty Lee rushed forward to grasp Aang’s hands between her own and beamed at the younger teen. “It’s very nice to meet you. Properly this time.”
“Yes,” Aang agreed enthusiastically as he returned her smile. Their hands released each other when Aang turned to Zuko again. “Are you going somewhere in particular?”
“Yeah, we’re going to see Azula.” Zuko lifted his hand and Aang stepped closer so that the appendage brushed his arm. It was a gesture that had no other purpose than to touch and that simple realization made way for another, much more complex, one.
“I’ll leave you guys to it then.” Aang looked rather uncomfortable with the idea of going to see Azula and Ty Lee didn’t blame him in the slightest, considering what that princess had put him through.
“Actually, I think I’d rather stay here with…Aang.” Mai’s voice held a strange undertone and Ty Lee whirled around to look at her friend in alarm. The dark girl’s eyes were focused on Aang. “We should get to know each other better.”
“Sure.” Aang sounded enthusiastic enough but a quick look at Zuko revealed that the prince was as suspicious as Ty Lee. Still, the firebender nodded his head in agreement. His hand brushed against Aang’s back, a touch Ty Lee only noticed because of her angle, and then lifted to indicate for Ty Lee to follow after him.
“Are you sure we should leave them alone?” Ty Lee queried from Zuko while glancing behind them. “I think Mai figured out that-”
“No, I’m not sure.” Zuko’s response was stern. “But I think it’s better this way.” The firebender was silent for a few moments. “Aang has this…charm to him. Maybe a talk with him is just the thing Mai needs.”
Ty Lee considered Zuko’s words and then slowly her mind fell at ease. Maybe it was about time Mai actually faced something head on for once.
1.
Mai knew she was merely tormenting herself by directing her attention to Zuko’s new love interest, but she also knew that she would agonize over the unknown factor that was the Avatar. She had no idea if she should allow Zuko to be swept away by the airbender like this.
“You look troubled.” The Avatar’s tone was gentle and even held a hint of worry. Mai could see why someone would start feeling at ease at the sound of it, but she was far too focused to allow herself to do the same.
“Zuko dated me before.” Dated, it was such a silly word but it would suffice to this discussion here. She observed the Avatar carefully, and saw the grey eyes widen in surprise before his entire face except for his now flaming cheeks turned white. Then the boy averted his gaze and if Mai had held any doubts about her suspicions, they would have vanished with that obvious show of guilt. She allowed herself to smirk at the small victory of catching the Avatar off guard.
Her triumph was over soon, however, when suddenly the Avatar’s expression smoothened and the gaze of his eyes turned into strong steel. There was no trace of that guilt she had briefly glimpsed when he spoke with conviction: “You have my sympathies, but I refuse to apologise for something I don’t regret.” The grey eyes softened and the boy smiled sadly. “I’m sorry you were hurt, but I’m not sorry to have reached Zuko.”
“You plan to keep him, then?” Even though Mai knew that this new relationship ending wouldn’t mean the return of Zuko to her, she still had to ask.
There was a brief flash of teeth as the Avatar’s smile widened with naked happiness. “Of course. I love him.”
Mai marvelled at how easily the Avatar could utter the words, how open he could be about his feelings. Maybe if she had told Zuko that more often, maybe if she had told him that once... A soft sigh slipped past her lips. She had been bested before she had even had the chance to compete.
“I suppose I’m…glad for that.” She smiled slightly when the Avatar blinked at her in confusion. She wasn’t about to elaborate, because certainly someone so familiar with love would understand its effect, the desire for nothing more than the happiness of that one person.
“Now I have to go make sure Ty Lee hasn’t gotten herself into any trouble.” And with that Mai turned away from the Avatar and followed the path she had seen Ty Lee and Zuko take previously.
Perhaps, she carefully mused to herself, perhaps the Avatar was an opponent she wouldn’t mind losing to after the wound closed and started to heal.
2.
The name of the woman in charge of watching Azula was named Jun. Azula made sure to remember the name, as the woman seemed much more likely to respond to her if she used it. The princess was under no delusions over why this was so; Jun simply enjoyed the power of forcing Azula to do something, having clearly heard of the firebender’s reputation, even if it was something as simple as forcing her to learn a name.
Jun wasn’t very talkative, not really. Even though the woman was clearly interested in Azula, watching her face carefully during all of their interactions, she wasn’t bursting with questions like many others would be. Trying to pick Azula apart slowly was, to her, simply something to pass the time with, and Azula resented her a bit for that. She was not just some minor amusement to pass time on.
When Jun told her that her brother had come to see her, it had been with that knowing smirk Azula had come to loathe so much within a shot amount of time. But Azula bit back any retort that might have been forthcoming, focusing instead on the new chance to be face to face with someone she understood, had understood. She now had questions she needed answered. She had to relearn Zuko’s buttons to know where she could push to produce the result she wanted.
All of Azula’s questions died on her lips when she finally laid eyes on her brother as the boy entered within her senses. She felt completeness again, and realized that it must have been Zuko she had felt earlier as well, when she had been slipping away.
This was her weakness. She could not lie about her spiritual opposite and other half, not after finally finding him so nearby. She wondered if Zuko felt their souls’ connection as well, or if this new realization that took over her entire being existed only to her.
“How are you feeling?” It was a simple question, but simple questions had never had a place between them. Azula ignored it.
“What did you do to me?” That was a more complex query. It would suit them well.
“I kept your flame burning when I saw it fade.”
To Azula, that was answer enough. Few people in this camp full of foreigners would grasp Zuko’s words, none of the inferior cultures holding the philosophy of the existence of a flame of life within everything that was alive.
“Why are you here?” The second question belonged to her as well. She felt a thin ghost of control when Zuko actually responded.
“To see you.” He answered so easily. Why was such an answer easy for him to give? Why was Zuko so at ease with his sentimentality when Azula herself wanted to tear that aspect of her brother apart?
“There’s someone else who wants to see you as well.” Was that comfort she could hear in Zuko’s voice? Who was this person that they made Zuko think she needed comfort? “I’ll let them in.” That said, Zuko distanced himself from her and left the tent. Azula was glad to see him go, even as she felt a small pang of loss. She told herself it was simply because the next person that entered made her actually miss Zuko’s company in comparison.
“Hi.” Ty Lee’s expression was sheepish, and Azula scoffed as she turned her face away from the sight. How could she look so…so much like always when nothing was the same anymore?
“Azula, please.” She was begging now; she had always been quick to beg, so Azula rarely made her do it; there was nothing fun about no challenge.
“Why are you here?” She hoped she didn’t sound half as broken as she suspected. Ty Lee had caught her off guard by appearing; she would need a few more moments to compose herself.
“I want to explain myself to you.” Ty Lee sounded surer of herself now. Perhaps it was the lack of eye contact that gave her courage. “I didn’t want you to hurt. I’ve spent enough time with you to grow fond of you.” Ty Lee was smiling softly when Azula lifted her head to look at her. “Actually, I love you very much.”
Azula couldn’t remember the last time someone had said that to her. It was most likely because of this that she didn’t say anything offensive in response. And as the princess stayed silent, Ty Lee continued: “I know you never liked dreamers much, you always told me as much, but I wished you’d miss me if I wasn’t there.” Ty Lee met Azula’s gaze and now her expression finally held a tinge of hesitancy, a weakness. “Did you?”
The answer came easily. “No.”
Ty Lee looked crushed and Azula wondered why she should care about that. She had told worse lies before; this lie was only proof that she could still lie to anyone else but Zuko and about anything else but Zuko. She looked at Ty Lee’s sorrowful expression for a beat longer.
“Yes.”
Now Ty Lee was smiling again, not the usual exuberant beam but a quiet, gentle smile. As she watched that expression be born, Azula could not help but muse that, for a dreamer, she certainly could look beautiful.
3.
When Zuko left Azula’s tent to let Ty Lee have privacy with the princess, the boy came face to face with Mai. Neither of them spoke a word to the other. It was a simple matter of Mai not being there for Zuko; the girl was obviously waiting for Ty Lee.
Zuko had never chosen Aang over Mai. Zuko loved Aang more than anyone else and that included Mai, but Zuko hadn’t as much as thought about there possibly being a choice to make between the two. Zuko wondered if making the choice would do something about this strange stasis, this lack of closure.
Immediately afterwards Zuko wondered why he even should need to make a choice in the first place. There was no decent reason, and the time for such things was long past anyway.
Chancing a look into Mai’s hazy eyes, Zuko truly felt the distance that was between them now, and now he was thinking about that barrier, unsure if it was a new development or if it had always been there.
There had never been any true companionship between Zuko, Azula, Mai and Ty Lee. The four of them interacted by a set of specific rules. It was unnatural, but necessary for keeping the façade of camaraderie going. They needed an illusion of a working relationship in order to as much as stand each other’s presence in a room.
One rule dominated over all the rest. The most important rule of all was: ‘look but don’t touch.’
There was one occasion the rule had been broken. They had stopped looking at each other and had instead tried to touch. They had been truthful to each other, digging their fingers into bruises that would never fade, into wounds that had festered instead of healing.
Zuko knew why none of them had truly learned anything from what had happened ob Ember Island. They couldn’t learn, because they wouldn’t learn. They didn’t want to develop a true bond; it could only be painful for them.
And yet, despite all this avoidance towards hurt, Zuko had still ached through it all and afterwards. The dull ache of loving all three of those girls he could look at but never truly touch. He couldn’t let his love reach out and touch the hearts of those who had been so close but still just beyond his reach.
Together, Zuko and Mai had attempted to reach out and touch each other. Mai’s affection and care had been evident in each kiss, each press of side against side, each awkward and clumsy attempt at comfort. Mai had been more loving than ever before, and yet Zuko had always, constantly held back.
Zuko was well aware that he had an intense personality. He hated with his all, he loved with his all and he could do both at the same time, towards the same person even. Mai wasn’t the kind of person to be loved the way Zuko loved.
A chuckle escaped Zuko and the firebender shook his head slowly. When he looked back at Mai the girl was giving him that deadpan stare that prompted an answer.
“I’m so messed up.” Zuko couldn’t help but laugh again, thinking about a cool and dark sanctuary and a boy with dark grey eyes making the same comment.
Mai didn’t seem to share his humour as she merely sighed and then murmured: “You would find that amusing.”
Just then a small twitch pulled at Mai’s lips, the beginnings of a smile that was either amused or affectionate. Did it really matter which? Zuko felt something akin to calm in the atmosphere and decided that it didn’t; the result was what mattered.
&
Author’s Notes: I have no idea where those hints of Ty Lee/Azula came from. I certainly wasn’t planning it when I started… Anyway, this is probably the longest chapter yet, and the length is one of the reasons this thing took forever and a day to write.
More Memories from Western Air Temple
Chapter Title: To Look But Not to Touch
Characters: Ty Lee, Mai, Azula, Zuko, Aang
Arc: Unity Arc
Setting: after No More Running, before We Could Die Tomorrow
Rating: K+
Warnings: lots and lots of character interpretation, and is that Ty Zula I spot there?
Summary: The four of them interacted by a set of specific rules. The most important rule of all was: ‘look but don’t touch.’
Ty Lee felt torn. On one hand, she was truly happy to see Zuko again; she had always rather liked the broody prince. On the other hand, however, now Mai was hurt, and it was because of them meeting Zuko. Expressing her happiness over finding Zuko had been easy, but then Zuko and Mai had…broken up… and suddenly Ty Lee felt like it was her duty to uphold some resemblance of normalcy for Mai’s sake, but suddenly it was hard to keep up her usual cheer when it was something she had to do.
It seemed that the other two were also aware of the need for a change in mood, as they had both averted their gazes to the ground. Still, Ty Lee didn’t think either of them would really do anything about the mood, and that’s why she was so surprised when Zuko spoke out, even though his tone was hesitant.
“Azula is also here.” There was an unspoken question in the statement, but it wasn’t directed at Mai. Zuko’s golden eyes were looking at Ty Lee.
Zuko knew Mai, as did Ty Lee. They both knew what Mai’s response would have been, because they knew her personality. Mai was deliberately distant; each and every action she ever took was carefully measured, meaning nothing but what she claimed it to mean. She had settled her affairs with Azula; that much had been clear the moment Azula used past tense for their relationship.
‘You should have feared me more,’ was what Azula had said. Azula rarely made mistakes when she observed people so she understood the meaning of Mai’s betrayal the moment Mai had spoken against her even though she hadn’t seen it coming. Mai and Azula were both through with each other. Ty Lee, however, felt that she needed to have proper closure, that she wanted to explain even if Azula refused to listen or understand.
A nod was all Ty Lee managed in response, but it was all Zuko needed, and the firebender turned away with the clear intention of leading the way.
Mai followed the two of them for no other reason than to not be left alone on unfamiliar territory. At first Ty Lee was glad for the ease with which the two of them stuck together, but she soon came to regret it.
On the way, the three of them were intercepted by the Avatar. At the sight of the boy an easy smile came to Zuko’s lips even as the firebender teased the other over sleeping in.
The reason Ty Lee was watching the Avatar so closely in the first place was simply because she had never really gotten the chance to look at the elusive airbender properly. The first thing she decided about the boy was that she really liked his smile and it seemed that Zuko did too, with the way the prince’s smile brightened in face of it.
“Aang, these are Ty Lee and Mai.” It should have been awkward for Zuko to say that, to introduce them with their history. Perhaps it would have been awkward before, but now the Avatar’s, Aang’s, presence seemed to bring out something in Zuko that was genuine. “Mai, Ty Lee, this is Aang.”
Knowing how terrible Mai was in such situations, Ty Lee rushed forward to grasp Aang’s hands between her own and beamed at the younger teen. “It’s very nice to meet you. Properly this time.”
“Yes,” Aang agreed enthusiastically as he returned her smile. Their hands released each other when Aang turned to Zuko again. “Are you going somewhere in particular?”
“Yeah, we’re going to see Azula.” Zuko lifted his hand and Aang stepped closer so that the appendage brushed his arm. It was a gesture that had no other purpose than to touch and that simple realization made way for another, much more complex, one.
“I’ll leave you guys to it then.” Aang looked rather uncomfortable with the idea of going to see Azula and Ty Lee didn’t blame him in the slightest, considering what that princess had put him through.
“Actually, I think I’d rather stay here with…Aang.” Mai’s voice held a strange undertone and Ty Lee whirled around to look at her friend in alarm. The dark girl’s eyes were focused on Aang. “We should get to know each other better.”
“Sure.” Aang sounded enthusiastic enough but a quick look at Zuko revealed that the prince was as suspicious as Ty Lee. Still, the firebender nodded his head in agreement. His hand brushed against Aang’s back, a touch Ty Lee only noticed because of her angle, and then lifted to indicate for Ty Lee to follow after him.
“Are you sure we should leave them alone?” Ty Lee queried from Zuko while glancing behind them. “I think Mai figured out that-”
“No, I’m not sure.” Zuko’s response was stern. “But I think it’s better this way.” The firebender was silent for a few moments. “Aang has this…charm to him. Maybe a talk with him is just the thing Mai needs.”
Ty Lee considered Zuko’s words and then slowly her mind fell at ease. Maybe it was about time Mai actually faced something head on for once.
1.
Mai knew she was merely tormenting herself by directing her attention to Zuko’s new love interest, but she also knew that she would agonize over the unknown factor that was the Avatar. She had no idea if she should allow Zuko to be swept away by the airbender like this.
“You look troubled.” The Avatar’s tone was gentle and even held a hint of worry. Mai could see why someone would start feeling at ease at the sound of it, but she was far too focused to allow herself to do the same.
“Zuko dated me before.” Dated, it was such a silly word but it would suffice to this discussion here. She observed the Avatar carefully, and saw the grey eyes widen in surprise before his entire face except for his now flaming cheeks turned white. Then the boy averted his gaze and if Mai had held any doubts about her suspicions, they would have vanished with that obvious show of guilt. She allowed herself to smirk at the small victory of catching the Avatar off guard.
Her triumph was over soon, however, when suddenly the Avatar’s expression smoothened and the gaze of his eyes turned into strong steel. There was no trace of that guilt she had briefly glimpsed when he spoke with conviction: “You have my sympathies, but I refuse to apologise for something I don’t regret.” The grey eyes softened and the boy smiled sadly. “I’m sorry you were hurt, but I’m not sorry to have reached Zuko.”
“You plan to keep him, then?” Even though Mai knew that this new relationship ending wouldn’t mean the return of Zuko to her, she still had to ask.
There was a brief flash of teeth as the Avatar’s smile widened with naked happiness. “Of course. I love him.”
Mai marvelled at how easily the Avatar could utter the words, how open he could be about his feelings. Maybe if she had told Zuko that more often, maybe if she had told him that once... A soft sigh slipped past her lips. She had been bested before she had even had the chance to compete.
“I suppose I’m…glad for that.” She smiled slightly when the Avatar blinked at her in confusion. She wasn’t about to elaborate, because certainly someone so familiar with love would understand its effect, the desire for nothing more than the happiness of that one person.
“Now I have to go make sure Ty Lee hasn’t gotten herself into any trouble.” And with that Mai turned away from the Avatar and followed the path she had seen Ty Lee and Zuko take previously.
Perhaps, she carefully mused to herself, perhaps the Avatar was an opponent she wouldn’t mind losing to after the wound closed and started to heal.
2.
The name of the woman in charge of watching Azula was named Jun. Azula made sure to remember the name, as the woman seemed much more likely to respond to her if she used it. The princess was under no delusions over why this was so; Jun simply enjoyed the power of forcing Azula to do something, having clearly heard of the firebender’s reputation, even if it was something as simple as forcing her to learn a name.
Jun wasn’t very talkative, not really. Even though the woman was clearly interested in Azula, watching her face carefully during all of their interactions, she wasn’t bursting with questions like many others would be. Trying to pick Azula apart slowly was, to her, simply something to pass the time with, and Azula resented her a bit for that. She was not just some minor amusement to pass time on.
When Jun told her that her brother had come to see her, it had been with that knowing smirk Azula had come to loathe so much within a shot amount of time. But Azula bit back any retort that might have been forthcoming, focusing instead on the new chance to be face to face with someone she understood, had understood. She now had questions she needed answered. She had to relearn Zuko’s buttons to know where she could push to produce the result she wanted.
All of Azula’s questions died on her lips when she finally laid eyes on her brother as the boy entered within her senses. She felt completeness again, and realized that it must have been Zuko she had felt earlier as well, when she had been slipping away.
This was her weakness. She could not lie about her spiritual opposite and other half, not after finally finding him so nearby. She wondered if Zuko felt their souls’ connection as well, or if this new realization that took over her entire being existed only to her.
“How are you feeling?” It was a simple question, but simple questions had never had a place between them. Azula ignored it.
“What did you do to me?” That was a more complex query. It would suit them well.
“I kept your flame burning when I saw it fade.”
To Azula, that was answer enough. Few people in this camp full of foreigners would grasp Zuko’s words, none of the inferior cultures holding the philosophy of the existence of a flame of life within everything that was alive.
“Why are you here?” The second question belonged to her as well. She felt a thin ghost of control when Zuko actually responded.
“To see you.” He answered so easily. Why was such an answer easy for him to give? Why was Zuko so at ease with his sentimentality when Azula herself wanted to tear that aspect of her brother apart?
“There’s someone else who wants to see you as well.” Was that comfort she could hear in Zuko’s voice? Who was this person that they made Zuko think she needed comfort? “I’ll let them in.” That said, Zuko distanced himself from her and left the tent. Azula was glad to see him go, even as she felt a small pang of loss. She told herself it was simply because the next person that entered made her actually miss Zuko’s company in comparison.
“Hi.” Ty Lee’s expression was sheepish, and Azula scoffed as she turned her face away from the sight. How could she look so…so much like always when nothing was the same anymore?
“Azula, please.” She was begging now; she had always been quick to beg, so Azula rarely made her do it; there was nothing fun about no challenge.
“Why are you here?” She hoped she didn’t sound half as broken as she suspected. Ty Lee had caught her off guard by appearing; she would need a few more moments to compose herself.
“I want to explain myself to you.” Ty Lee sounded surer of herself now. Perhaps it was the lack of eye contact that gave her courage. “I didn’t want you to hurt. I’ve spent enough time with you to grow fond of you.” Ty Lee was smiling softly when Azula lifted her head to look at her. “Actually, I love you very much.”
Azula couldn’t remember the last time someone had said that to her. It was most likely because of this that she didn’t say anything offensive in response. And as the princess stayed silent, Ty Lee continued: “I know you never liked dreamers much, you always told me as much, but I wished you’d miss me if I wasn’t there.” Ty Lee met Azula’s gaze and now her expression finally held a tinge of hesitancy, a weakness. “Did you?”
The answer came easily. “No.”
Ty Lee looked crushed and Azula wondered why she should care about that. She had told worse lies before; this lie was only proof that she could still lie to anyone else but Zuko and about anything else but Zuko. She looked at Ty Lee’s sorrowful expression for a beat longer.
“Yes.”
Now Ty Lee was smiling again, not the usual exuberant beam but a quiet, gentle smile. As she watched that expression be born, Azula could not help but muse that, for a dreamer, she certainly could look beautiful.
3.
When Zuko left Azula’s tent to let Ty Lee have privacy with the princess, the boy came face to face with Mai. Neither of them spoke a word to the other. It was a simple matter of Mai not being there for Zuko; the girl was obviously waiting for Ty Lee.
Zuko had never chosen Aang over Mai. Zuko loved Aang more than anyone else and that included Mai, but Zuko hadn’t as much as thought about there possibly being a choice to make between the two. Zuko wondered if making the choice would do something about this strange stasis, this lack of closure.
Immediately afterwards Zuko wondered why he even should need to make a choice in the first place. There was no decent reason, and the time for such things was long past anyway.
Chancing a look into Mai’s hazy eyes, Zuko truly felt the distance that was between them now, and now he was thinking about that barrier, unsure if it was a new development or if it had always been there.
There had never been any true companionship between Zuko, Azula, Mai and Ty Lee. The four of them interacted by a set of specific rules. It was unnatural, but necessary for keeping the façade of camaraderie going. They needed an illusion of a working relationship in order to as much as stand each other’s presence in a room.
One rule dominated over all the rest. The most important rule of all was: ‘look but don’t touch.’
There was one occasion the rule had been broken. They had stopped looking at each other and had instead tried to touch. They had been truthful to each other, digging their fingers into bruises that would never fade, into wounds that had festered instead of healing.
Zuko knew why none of them had truly learned anything from what had happened ob Ember Island. They couldn’t learn, because they wouldn’t learn. They didn’t want to develop a true bond; it could only be painful for them.
And yet, despite all this avoidance towards hurt, Zuko had still ached through it all and afterwards. The dull ache of loving all three of those girls he could look at but never truly touch. He couldn’t let his love reach out and touch the hearts of those who had been so close but still just beyond his reach.
Together, Zuko and Mai had attempted to reach out and touch each other. Mai’s affection and care had been evident in each kiss, each press of side against side, each awkward and clumsy attempt at comfort. Mai had been more loving than ever before, and yet Zuko had always, constantly held back.
Zuko was well aware that he had an intense personality. He hated with his all, he loved with his all and he could do both at the same time, towards the same person even. Mai wasn’t the kind of person to be loved the way Zuko loved.
A chuckle escaped Zuko and the firebender shook his head slowly. When he looked back at Mai the girl was giving him that deadpan stare that prompted an answer.
“I’m so messed up.” Zuko couldn’t help but laugh again, thinking about a cool and dark sanctuary and a boy with dark grey eyes making the same comment.
Mai didn’t seem to share his humour as she merely sighed and then murmured: “You would find that amusing.”
Just then a small twitch pulled at Mai’s lips, the beginnings of a smile that was either amused or affectionate. Did it really matter which? Zuko felt something akin to calm in the atmosphere and decided that it didn’t; the result was what mattered.
&
Author’s Notes: I have no idea where those hints of Ty Lee/Azula came from. I certainly wasn’t planning it when I started… Anyway, this is probably the longest chapter yet, and the length is one of the reasons this thing took forever and a day to write.
More Memories from Western Air Temple