...My Version of the Meaning Of Life...
Today is yet another fateful day of contemplations. I can't understand myself as of late. As my 24th birthday approaches, I have been extra curious about that which is not explained... Or perhaps, that what we have been falsely led to believe as true. The intricate details of the how and why. The philosophy of what's to be. The answers to our own internal questions. The decisions and deceptions. The longing for more... Or perhaps even less. All of the factors that encompass each and every one of us. Religion plays the part of the tangible "angel on your shoulder" theory. The Jimminny Cricket of our every day trials. Each of us has our own beliefs in their own versions of God, and the human starting line. Those who are self proclaimed athiests, believe we are just masses of flesh and blood, who go through life as if charged by some unseen battery, and live only until the juice runs dry. When we die, we wink out, and our existance is soon and ultimately forgotten. Many of them believe in "the big bang theory". Very science driven, believing the "God" figure to be nothing more than an elaborate fairytale for adults. Yet it would seem, we may all call to someone just before we die... Even if we are not the truest of believers. I saw a man almost get killed yesterday. It was a horrifying sight to see within his eyes... He was an old man with a cane. Obviously he had some type of hip/leg trouble, for he was limping quite a bit across the street that leads to our home. My roomate was driving us home from work, and caught up in the relief of the end of the day... Not seeing the old man at first. I called out to her as she drove up the road. My exclamations seemed to be unheard until she was almost right on top of the old man. All I could see was his eyes. His terrified eyes that this was to be it... It is a fascinating, dreadful look... He was not hit, and the two of us finished our journey home, both quite shaken up... Time and fate could change in a matter of split seconds. I realize that you have to do your best to take everything in while you can... cause no one knows whats around that corner... Death, prision, or perhaps an image eternally burned in your brain, echoed only by your own hindsight, "If only I'd..." When that time has passed, you cannot ever have it back...
Which leads me to my theory... I had previously mentioned my views on athiests. On the other side of the spectrum... Let's say the "die hard catholics" (coming from a catholic Italian backround). They believe that the bible is law. Anyone who even THINKS of breaking the rules must fall to their knees and beg for God's forgiveness. They speak of loving your brother, and being goodly people, but they teach ignorance in the same breath. Intolerance to all that is not as they are. That is not love then. Love is acceptance. Love is understanding... Love is not "do as I say". I believe that if there is a big man in the sky watching over us all, I doubt that he defines love as fear. As a matter of fact, that sounds like a recipe for another underworld ruler... So what IS my take on religion, and why am I even bringing it up? I'll answer the latter first... As I grow older and think of my own road ahead, I think of family, death, and what lies beyond. I have always, however, had a curious fascination with death. With that of the afterlife, and try to wonder how I would feel... What would become clear to me, and what would remain a mystery. What is it I should teach my children? Is it better to believe that God is just a bigger version of Santa Clause? Should I teach my child a little of each religion and let them decide for themselves which one speaks most to them? And what is it exactly that I, myself believe. There are plenty of times that I feel God has "turned his back on me", or that I say how "God and I had a falling out years ago". I used to pray to God a lot as a kid. I also used to leave carrots for Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. Was I foolish for both? Or were they just stepping stones in the walk of my own life's understanding? It has all led to this theory, however... And I call it my "plant" theory. Think of it... before, during, and beyond the dinosaurs, what living thing ruled and remained? C'mon, you know the answer... Trees. Plants. They, and we, all start from the same thing... A single seed. A seed planted that grows... and grows... The seasons even divide into the stages of our own lives: Spring; the time of birth, growth, beauty. Summer; A time of youth. Fun, warm feelings and celebrations. Fall; Adulthood. Colder, but still with its own grace. Its own artwork. Alive, but withering in a beautiful specticle. Winter; Frigid cold. death. hibernation. Yet still and all, beauty. The scenic paintings of nature. have you ever noticed how in the winter, the flowers and the leaves all wither and die... And yet, by the time spring wraps around, the leaves and flowers pop up again... As if reborn... There is a period of "rest". the beauty has faded, and sleeps, just as we do each night...and just as we do at the end of our time...Only to wake once more... Perhaps we could learn a lot from what is right here on earth. Perhaps We are but a garden within ourselves. Perhaps God is but a simple farmer, and we are his crops. He is proud of his work, but he doesn't decide how and why and where and when. He could only give us light, water, and love. Its our job to go from there. God's will is for our kind to just "be". He doesnt want us to kill eachother, lie to eachother, break bonds of love and family... Simple rules just to lead a pleasant life. Makes sense to me. I am far from a "holy roller", but I believe something is there. I refuse to adhere to one set religion, because I dont sincerely believe that just ONE group of poeople's beliefs are 100% the truth. Believe whatever you want to believe. If it gives you the drive to be your best, then thats the one you need in your life. Dont go to church just cause you gotta. Talk to God one on one. I'm sure he'd rather you did that, then force yoruself to sit there, bored, looking at your watch, and think that you earned some brownie points that week. We were given free will. God cant make us win the lottery, or make our hair look just the way we want it to... But he gave us a stomping ground. Our stage is set. And be it what it may, just make sure you're satisfied with your own performance by the final bow. Thats the only "religious law" to really live by.
Which leads me to my theory... I had previously mentioned my views on athiests. On the other side of the spectrum... Let's say the "die hard catholics" (coming from a catholic Italian backround). They believe that the bible is law. Anyone who even THINKS of breaking the rules must fall to their knees and beg for God's forgiveness. They speak of loving your brother, and being goodly people, but they teach ignorance in the same breath. Intolerance to all that is not as they are. That is not love then. Love is acceptance. Love is understanding... Love is not "do as I say". I believe that if there is a big man in the sky watching over us all, I doubt that he defines love as fear. As a matter of fact, that sounds like a recipe for another underworld ruler... So what IS my take on religion, and why am I even bringing it up? I'll answer the latter first... As I grow older and think of my own road ahead, I think of family, death, and what lies beyond. I have always, however, had a curious fascination with death. With that of the afterlife, and try to wonder how I would feel... What would become clear to me, and what would remain a mystery. What is it I should teach my children? Is it better to believe that God is just a bigger version of Santa Clause? Should I teach my child a little of each religion and let them decide for themselves which one speaks most to them? And what is it exactly that I, myself believe. There are plenty of times that I feel God has "turned his back on me", or that I say how "God and I had a falling out years ago". I used to pray to God a lot as a kid. I also used to leave carrots for Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. Was I foolish for both? Or were they just stepping stones in the walk of my own life's understanding? It has all led to this theory, however... And I call it my "plant" theory. Think of it... before, during, and beyond the dinosaurs, what living thing ruled and remained? C'mon, you know the answer... Trees. Plants. They, and we, all start from the same thing... A single seed. A seed planted that grows... and grows... The seasons even divide into the stages of our own lives: Spring; the time of birth, growth, beauty. Summer; A time of youth. Fun, warm feelings and celebrations. Fall; Adulthood. Colder, but still with its own grace. Its own artwork. Alive, but withering in a beautiful specticle. Winter; Frigid cold. death. hibernation. Yet still and all, beauty. The scenic paintings of nature. have you ever noticed how in the winter, the flowers and the leaves all wither and die... And yet, by the time spring wraps around, the leaves and flowers pop up again... As if reborn... There is a period of "rest". the beauty has faded, and sleeps, just as we do each night...and just as we do at the end of our time...Only to wake once more... Perhaps we could learn a lot from what is right here on earth. Perhaps We are but a garden within ourselves. Perhaps God is but a simple farmer, and we are his crops. He is proud of his work, but he doesn't decide how and why and where and when. He could only give us light, water, and love. Its our job to go from there. God's will is for our kind to just "be". He doesnt want us to kill eachother, lie to eachother, break bonds of love and family... Simple rules just to lead a pleasant life. Makes sense to me. I am far from a "holy roller", but I believe something is there. I refuse to adhere to one set religion, because I dont sincerely believe that just ONE group of poeople's beliefs are 100% the truth. Believe whatever you want to believe. If it gives you the drive to be your best, then thats the one you need in your life. Dont go to church just cause you gotta. Talk to God one on one. I'm sure he'd rather you did that, then force yoruself to sit there, bored, looking at your watch, and think that you earned some brownie points that week. We were given free will. God cant make us win the lottery, or make our hair look just the way we want it to... But he gave us a stomping ground. Our stage is set. And be it what it may, just make sure you're satisfied with your own performance by the final bow. Thats the only "religious law" to really live by.