I didn't disappear.
Its Rayne now. I'm happy. I smile every day. I don't hurt inside anymore. I don't lie to myself or anyone else. I highly doubt a single soul remembers this, but, there you go for this. A sort of completion of a story nobody particularly noticed of a winey nobody. I've been transitioned for a while. My work is embarrassing. As the world goes to shit every day I feel happier everyday regardless.
Love you all. Always have. I may write here. But since I don't spend everyday wanting to shoot myself in the head, I'm probably a lot less interesting to read about.
Even if we only ever spoke oh so briefly in general, in a world so far removed as to almost seem fanciful, my interactions here and my whiney little bitching moans and frustrations with things I didn't want to speak about where an important part of my life. I wanted to take one last little moment to come here, for any that might one day decide they wanted to take a brief glance at memory lane, to remember what once was and what once could be, to give my own little ending. It felt good to write it. I went back through a lot of those journals, cringing immensely at my own, and just soaked in the nostalgia of yesterday before writing this.
I guess in the end I was a Daria, not Darius. Fitting I suppose, considering how much I identified with that character.
If any of you ancient people do ever wish to speak? Just hit this here. I'm sure I'll notice it. If not? I hope your every day is beautiful, bright, and certainly, continuing past 2020 because omg what a wreck.
For Sonya?
You ended up naming me, in the end. So...I know we're so separated and different now, but, you'll always be that one person who was the first ever pivot.