this started out as a comment
chemicals.
mine are all flustered too.
i'm beginning to get back to the point a was at a year ago.
lost, confused, no bueno.
but the only thing i can do is continue my day to day
problem is, it's now beginning to effect my day to day.
i no longer go to work with a smile
i no longer go to rehearsals with a smile
any smiles are artificial
any change in chemistry is due to alcohol
not mass quantities, but it certainly made hanging out with the cast after rehearsals bearable yesterday.
maybe too many things are changing too soon.
i didn't get a part that i wanted in "grease"
i've got a new manager that's a bit of a dick
i'm starting school and not really enjoying it
i thought i saw the potential for a relationship to blossom
but it was nipped in the bud
that seems to be a reoccuring thing
don't get your hopes up
you'll only get disappointed in the end
"i need an easy friend, i do, with an ear to lend"
maybe if i listened to music that counteracted my mood
instead of music to match my mood
well, of course, it usually helps
but my mind is set, you're down, listen to something that will keep you there.
well, not keep you there, distract you from being there.
all while typing this, i've been listening to
"unattractive" by the toadies
great song, but it does little for me.
it just reminds me of my personal life and views on love
luckily, i've still got friends that love and support me.
they're my lifeline.
i don't think they know just how bad i had been
or how i'm getting back to where i had been
those are swayed by creativity
i've been sculpting again
little by little
i need someone to hold me and tell me that it'll be ok
i think i've always needed that
it's like the monologue that i used to audition for grease:
He gives me a chocolate Easter bunny. And this shows how tricky those guys are. I eat the chocolate and I think, wait a second... this isn't around Easter. "was this a test?" he said "yes." "and what does it mean?" he said, "well, had you eaten the ears first, you would have been normal; had you eaten the feet first, you would have had an inferiority complex; had you eaten the tail first, you would have had latent homosexual tendencies; had you eaten the breasts first, you would have had a latent oedipal complex." i said, "well, go on, what does it mean when you bite out the eyes and scream, 'stop staring at me!'?" he says, "it shows that you've a tendency towards self-destruction." i said, "what do you recommend?" he says, "go for it!"
is it really true that every joke is based around truth?