It's not easy red-penning the universe.
It's no big secret that I am a compulsive proofreader. A Grammar Nazi. He Who Worships The Webster. Call it what you will.
In 2009, it's not easy being this particular shade of green, because it seems that any word or construct can be made correct simply by declaring it so. Get 10 people on the Internet to agree with you, and voila! Ain't nunna them mades up words aren't good now.
Today's study: Shorty.
For time immemorial, "shorty" was a mildly derogatory word for someone who was short. When I was in college, the expanding lexicon of engineering meant that a shorty was a 1-2' long piece of network cable used to jumper across devices in a server room.
Sometime in the mid 1990's, Shorty acquired a new urban meaning. It referred to a youngster, getting his start out in the 'hood, dealing drugs and pimping for the first time. Trend-setting rapper NaS defined the word in context in his single "One Love":
"Shorty's laugh was cold blooded as he spoke so foul. Only twelve, trying to tell me that he liked my style."
A wash of other references followed, representin' how we got to protect the Shorties so they grow up respectin'.
No problem. Street slang evolves like any other language, so I just went with this. In my brain, the first popular definition of Shorty went from being a small bit of wire to being a hard-core pre-teen with a gun. Once again, the l33t-speaking world was at peace.
Two weeks ago, we were listening to the radio in our rental car, and a dance song came on the XM radio station we were listening to. The lyrics would haunt me to this day:
"Somebody call 911. Shorty fire burning on the dance floor, Whoa. I gotta cool it down... That little shorty fire's burning on the dance floor." ~Sean Kingston (slightly inaccurate excerpt)
Thinking that I was at least moderately up-to-date on dance party slang, the first thing that came into my head was "Jesus!! They wrote a song about torching some little punk-assed kid in a club?!" I have to point out that this was a crappy sound system, the windows were down, and most of the lyrics other than the start of the refrain were pretty much unintelligible.
I was really confused as to what the hell this song could possibly have meant. What had we come to, as a society, when our pop music involves lighting drug dealers on fire while the rest of the club dances on??
Turns out that in the span of a few short years, the word "Shorty" has been utterly and completely redefined again. NOW, Shorty means:
1) Your girlfriend, or a girl that you date or go out with.
2) One of your closest female friends, someone that you hang out with a lot.
3) An attractive girl that you want to meet.
Usage: "Hey, look at the ass on that Shorty over there. That Shorty's on fire."
How have we gone from "punk assed little kid smacking up the ho" to "smokin hot female" in just a couple of years?? I call shenanigans. Even street slang shouldn't evolve that quickly, and particularly not to mean something almost diametrically opposite to the original meaning.
Attention all hot chicks: You are not shorties unless you're selling drugs and talking smack to the gangbangers who are chronologically older than you. You are a "hottie". Or, if you spend more than 50% of your leisure time in a club, a "Club Rat".
Grammar Nazi has spoken.
In 2009, it's not easy being this particular shade of green, because it seems that any word or construct can be made correct simply by declaring it so. Get 10 people on the Internet to agree with you, and voila! Ain't nunna them mades up words aren't good now.
Today's study: Shorty.
For time immemorial, "shorty" was a mildly derogatory word for someone who was short. When I was in college, the expanding lexicon of engineering meant that a shorty was a 1-2' long piece of network cable used to jumper across devices in a server room.
Sometime in the mid 1990's, Shorty acquired a new urban meaning. It referred to a youngster, getting his start out in the 'hood, dealing drugs and pimping for the first time. Trend-setting rapper NaS defined the word in context in his single "One Love":
"Shorty's laugh was cold blooded as he spoke so foul. Only twelve, trying to tell me that he liked my style."
A wash of other references followed, representin' how we got to protect the Shorties so they grow up respectin'.
No problem. Street slang evolves like any other language, so I just went with this. In my brain, the first popular definition of Shorty went from being a small bit of wire to being a hard-core pre-teen with a gun. Once again, the l33t-speaking world was at peace.
Two weeks ago, we were listening to the radio in our rental car, and a dance song came on the XM radio station we were listening to. The lyrics would haunt me to this day:
"Somebody call 911. Shorty fire burning on the dance floor, Whoa. I gotta cool it down... That little shorty fire's burning on the dance floor." ~Sean Kingston (slightly inaccurate excerpt)
Thinking that I was at least moderately up-to-date on dance party slang, the first thing that came into my head was "Jesus!! They wrote a song about torching some little punk-assed kid in a club?!" I have to point out that this was a crappy sound system, the windows were down, and most of the lyrics other than the start of the refrain were pretty much unintelligible.
I was really confused as to what the hell this song could possibly have meant. What had we come to, as a society, when our pop music involves lighting drug dealers on fire while the rest of the club dances on??
Turns out that in the span of a few short years, the word "Shorty" has been utterly and completely redefined again. NOW, Shorty means:
1) Your girlfriend, or a girl that you date or go out with.
2) One of your closest female friends, someone that you hang out with a lot.
3) An attractive girl that you want to meet.
Usage: "Hey, look at the ass on that Shorty over there. That Shorty's on fire."
How have we gone from "punk assed little kid smacking up the ho" to "smokin hot female" in just a couple of years?? I call shenanigans. Even street slang shouldn't evolve that quickly, and particularly not to mean something almost diametrically opposite to the original meaning.
Attention all hot chicks: You are not shorties unless you're selling drugs and talking smack to the gangbangers who are chronologically older than you. You are a "hottie". Or, if you spend more than 50% of your leisure time in a club, a "Club Rat".
Grammar Nazi has spoken.