There needs to be a fic along the lines of
RIVER: So, let's kiss.
DOCTOR: Yes, yes, but no, sorry, your dad would kill me. The Last Centurion and all, he's disturbingly brilliant with weapons, I'm sure you understand. Could shoot through my hearts with his eyes closed and then your mum would make shoes of my skin. Or maybe it'd be the other way around, you never know with those two.
And fics about the lizard woman and her girlfriend maid!
I saw the Big Reveal coming a mile away and also, shipping River and the Doctor is sort of creepy since he's her parents' friend. I've never shipped it but now the thought is just... no.
I'm also worried for Rory because it really sounds like River might kill him instead of the Doctor (who was my first guess). ;___;