The horror has to be shared
Her breasts were citrus, they were soapstone; they were bright cumulus and the smooth fingertips of Musrum. Her breasts were honeycombs and dew-beaded windows, or soft, sweet cheese. They were sweet apples; they were glass, they were cowries. They were the twin moons of the earth.
Silk and Steel by Ron Miller
The first time I read this, I read Musrum as Mustrum, and had highly alarming mental images of Discworld's Mustrum Ridcully. D:
I don’t need to pee any more. Now I just need to get laid.
The knight gives me a knowing smile, and jiggles his giant cock in my direction. "You look like a fair maiden in need of a good visit from the codpiece," he says.
Knight Moves by Jamaica Layne
This is obviously least of that novel's problems, but I'd like to point out that codpiece is, in fact, a garment. You don't fuck anyone with it.
...Well, all right, you probably could if you stored something suitable inside it, like a cucumber, but even then it'd be more like a cloth-covered dildo than a penis. You'd need plenty of lube and stretching, and I imagine it'd still be really uncomfortable.
*STOPS THINKING ABOUT IT*
Silk and Steel by Ron Miller
The first time I read this, I read Musrum as Mustrum, and had highly alarming mental images of Discworld's Mustrum Ridcully. D:
I don’t need to pee any more. Now I just need to get laid.
The knight gives me a knowing smile, and jiggles his giant cock in my direction. "You look like a fair maiden in need of a good visit from the codpiece," he says.
Knight Moves by Jamaica Layne
This is obviously least of that novel's problems, but I'd like to point out that codpiece is, in fact, a garment. You don't fuck anyone with it.
...Well, all right, you probably could if you stored something suitable inside it, like a cucumber, but even then it'd be more like a cloth-covered dildo than a penis. You'd need plenty of lube and stretching, and I imagine it'd still be really uncomfortable.
*STOPS THINKING ABOUT IT*