(no subject)
what does it mean to have commitment?
to be responsible to someone or something else?
what drives us in our day to day lives?
why do i keep getting up in the morning and coming to this job?
how i am able to easily commit (and over commit) myself to things when others cant seem to give me a definite answer about plans for tomorrow?
when am i going to be honest with myself about what it is i want to do?
do i deal with change, lonlieness, hurt, anxiety, fear by becoming busy?
why can't i like jobs that pay more money?
why does everything have to come back to money?
how do we keep our vision, our mission, our intention in line when it's being swatted at by all of the other details in life?
how am i supposed to feel good about working for a company who's players don't hold stock in what they commit to?
how do i take on this extra work without holding resentment the money -time- and energy it will lose me?
how do i get all that i have to get done before i leave on thursday and still manage to sleep?
how do i finish my work when i can do nothing but fall asleep at the computer?
how do i finish moving when i cant find the energy to walk ?
how can i see the amazing work that this piece is and also watch as others toss it aside?
im wasting time on this thing i know but i have to get this out. i have to sit with these thoughts and the reality of my choices and my life for the upcoming fall.
i also have to go to sleep because i am probably starting to become useless.
im still sending love out.
~stephanie
to be responsible to someone or something else?
what drives us in our day to day lives?
why do i keep getting up in the morning and coming to this job?
how i am able to easily commit (and over commit) myself to things when others cant seem to give me a definite answer about plans for tomorrow?
when am i going to be honest with myself about what it is i want to do?
do i deal with change, lonlieness, hurt, anxiety, fear by becoming busy?
why can't i like jobs that pay more money?
why does everything have to come back to money?
how do we keep our vision, our mission, our intention in line when it's being swatted at by all of the other details in life?
how am i supposed to feel good about working for a company who's players don't hold stock in what they commit to?
how do i take on this extra work without holding resentment the money -time- and energy it will lose me?
how do i get all that i have to get done before i leave on thursday and still manage to sleep?
how do i finish my work when i can do nothing but fall asleep at the computer?
how do i finish moving when i cant find the energy to walk ?
how can i see the amazing work that this piece is and also watch as others toss it aside?
im wasting time on this thing i know but i have to get this out. i have to sit with these thoughts and the reality of my choices and my life for the upcoming fall.
i also have to go to sleep because i am probably starting to become useless.
im still sending love out.
~stephanie