I carry my crucifix, under my bratwurst
At work right now, totally exhausted. I was out last night at the Black Ships/Titan/Midwives show at The Whippet Lounge until like 1:30. Argh. Halfway through Black Ships' set I couldn't even keep my eyes open, so I just walked outside and sat up against the wall in front of the venue, and tried to sleep while the dudes finished watching the show. Dave and Ryan came out and were all like "Oh yeah, good idea, small girl sitting falling asleep on Dundas St. at 1 am..." Oops! I was tired!
Last night was alright. I really wish more people were there. It's weird, sometimes I love it so much when there's only like, 15 people at a show, but when it's a heavy show like that, it's always better with more bodies, more sweat, more testosterone. Oh well. It was still good. The bands had everyone come and stand on the edge of the stage with them so it was like this tightly packed little circle around the bands while they played. It was pretty cool.
Nothing will ever top that Cursed show there back in March though. Goddamn that was such a great night. SO many kids, so much blood (literally... I probably have aids from that show), and Cursed is (well, was) the loudest goddamn band in Canada. Sigh.
Saw a friend of mine there who I haven't seen in awhile. She's been going through a really hard time recently because her dad just passed away a little while ago, so it was really nice to see her and see how she was holding up. We were talking about how a lot of the people she expected to be there for her during something like that, simply just weren't, and totally avoided her after it happened. I kind of couldn't believe it. I think a lot of people our age are really uncomfortable with death. I'm uncomfortable with it on a personal level, but when it comes down to being a decent human being and supporting my friends through a family member dying, I'm not afraid to deal with it with them and let them run the gamut of human emotion on me if they want to. Death is natural, and grief is natural, and I think it's really important to be there for your friends during the grieving process, because talking about your grief and letting those feelings out is such a critical step in dealing with it all.
Anyway, that's all I'll say about that.
I guess I'm just disappointed with what lame friends people can be... I've dealt with people like that before, and it sucks. It's all fun and awesomeness when you're happy and drunk and fine and funny, but the second you turn into a multi-dimensional human being, it's like it scares a lot of people. I don't understand that. Personally, I want more friendships where I am more than just a fun buddy or a drinking buddy or a shopping companion, etc. you know? I want to be closer to people and be there for them and see them at their best and worst and everything in between.
We're all so scared of each other.
***
So Zoey was telling me about these two books that I "have to get!" One is called "Promiscuities: The Secret Struggle for Womanhood" by a woman named Naomi Wolf, and the other is "Getting Off: Pornography and the End of Masculinity" by Robert Jensen. The first one, I guess, basically examines the whole world of the "prude/slut" stigma/phenomenon, and the other one is supposed to be about the world of modern pornography and the pressures of men having to be the Alpha Male. Definitely my cup of tea... I think I'm going to pick them both up on Amazon.com and read them back to back; sounds like it would be a cool paradox... the modern female vs. the modern man and their simultaneous struggles for individual sexuality. Good stuff.
I have to do four interviews this afternoon, so I'm trying to snap out of this haze and get energized for this shit. I hope at least one of the people I interview is exceptionally awesome so that I can hire them next week.
Oh yeah, I'm going to get my Blackberry after work today, I think! Either today or tomorrow. Biz-nass chick in the howse! (I'm getting the black/rose one like in the picture, except I'm fucking Rogers and switching over to Telus. Unlimited texting/emails/net usage, whaaat?)
What a tasty morsel.
Last night was alright. I really wish more people were there. It's weird, sometimes I love it so much when there's only like, 15 people at a show, but when it's a heavy show like that, it's always better with more bodies, more sweat, more testosterone. Oh well. It was still good. The bands had everyone come and stand on the edge of the stage with them so it was like this tightly packed little circle around the bands while they played. It was pretty cool.
Nothing will ever top that Cursed show there back in March though. Goddamn that was such a great night. SO many kids, so much blood (literally... I probably have aids from that show), and Cursed is (well, was) the loudest goddamn band in Canada. Sigh.
Saw a friend of mine there who I haven't seen in awhile. She's been going through a really hard time recently because her dad just passed away a little while ago, so it was really nice to see her and see how she was holding up. We were talking about how a lot of the people she expected to be there for her during something like that, simply just weren't, and totally avoided her after it happened. I kind of couldn't believe it. I think a lot of people our age are really uncomfortable with death. I'm uncomfortable with it on a personal level, but when it comes down to being a decent human being and supporting my friends through a family member dying, I'm not afraid to deal with it with them and let them run the gamut of human emotion on me if they want to. Death is natural, and grief is natural, and I think it's really important to be there for your friends during the grieving process, because talking about your grief and letting those feelings out is such a critical step in dealing with it all.
Anyway, that's all I'll say about that.
I guess I'm just disappointed with what lame friends people can be... I've dealt with people like that before, and it sucks. It's all fun and awesomeness when you're happy and drunk and fine and funny, but the second you turn into a multi-dimensional human being, it's like it scares a lot of people. I don't understand that. Personally, I want more friendships where I am more than just a fun buddy or a drinking buddy or a shopping companion, etc. you know? I want to be closer to people and be there for them and see them at their best and worst and everything in between.
We're all so scared of each other.
***
So Zoey was telling me about these two books that I "have to get!" One is called "Promiscuities: The Secret Struggle for Womanhood" by a woman named Naomi Wolf, and the other is "Getting Off: Pornography and the End of Masculinity" by Robert Jensen. The first one, I guess, basically examines the whole world of the "prude/slut" stigma/phenomenon, and the other one is supposed to be about the world of modern pornography and the pressures of men having to be the Alpha Male. Definitely my cup of tea... I think I'm going to pick them both up on Amazon.com and read them back to back; sounds like it would be a cool paradox... the modern female vs. the modern man and their simultaneous struggles for individual sexuality. Good stuff.
I have to do four interviews this afternoon, so I'm trying to snap out of this haze and get energized for this shit. I hope at least one of the people I interview is exceptionally awesome so that I can hire them next week.
Oh yeah, I'm going to get my Blackberry after work today, I think! Either today or tomorrow. Biz-nass chick in the howse! (I'm getting the black/rose one like in the picture, except I'm fucking Rogers and switching over to Telus. Unlimited texting/emails/net usage, whaaat?)
What a tasty morsel.