I'm with Color Me Badd on this one...
Okay, so I know I still haven't really elaborated on this post... I just haven't been in the mood to sit and intentionally stew about the whole thing enough to write about it. Plus those feelings have sunken down into my stomach for awhile, simmering on low and waiting for the next time I get antsy and crave massive amounts of inspiration before they spring up on me again and make me go crazy.
You know what's really cool, and I'm gonna sound like such a dork when I say this, but I'm really glad about my blossoming friendship with Amy. I like her so much. Normally I have tense, paranoid feelings about making new friends because I always think people are using me for something, or have shitty intentions, but I don't get ANY of that with her. She is just fucking cool, and so funny, and we get along famously. It was weird, we hardly knew each other, and then we just kind of "clicked". Here's the dorky, gradeschool diary part: I think she has best friend potential. And that makes me feel so good and relieved, because seriously, I thought I had lost the ability to get close to people anymore. To give a shit about new people or really have any desire to create any new, lasting close friendships. But here's Amy and I, like two peas in a pod, totally share the same sense of humour and music, not to mention our shared taste for vices and total apathy, and I don't even mind talking on the phone to her. And I HATE talking on the phone! Aw. :)
(We are even making each other mixed cds)
Alright, that's enough of that. I'm starting to feel like I'm 13. Ha ha.
***
Book review time!
On the table today:
The Straight Girl's Guide to Sleeping with Chicks by Jen Sincero
Never have I read a sexual well-being book that I loved as much as I did this handy little book! "The Straight Girl's Guide" is definitely not stuffy, condescending or by-the-book as so many sex guides tend to be (or at least the ones I've read, and that's quite a few). Sincero's voice is fresh and unstifled... she talks to you like she's your funny friend (for example, she includes a chart full of euphemisms for masturbation, one of which is "romancing the bean"), not some author who has no idea about your individual wants and needs. And she isn't afraid to say "pussy!" Ahh. Totally refreshing. 'Cause hey... girls are allowed to say "pussy," too. After all, we're the ones who own them!
In essence, the book is a complete handbook for girls who refer to themselves as Straight but are curious about expanding their sexual horizons to include same sex encounters. However, that's a pretty broad topic, so she goes into all kinds of things that can help any girl make the most of their girl/girl endeavours, such as masturbation (to give you an idea of what might feel good for someone else who has got the same parts!), toys, pussy-eating (there are a ton of amazing and graphic tips in here! Guys, you could benefit from reading that chapter, too...), threesomes, etc. with all kinds of pearls of wisdom from random women (and some men!) who she interviewed for the purpose of researching the book. Sincero's target audience for this tome of girly goodness runs the gamut from curious but as-of-yet inexperienced hetero girls, all the way to regular carpet-munchers, and everything imaginable in between along the girl/girl spectrum.
Sincero's laid back, witty style quells any fears of dipping your toes into foreign waters by demystifying all kinds of things, including the ever-feared cunnilingus (insert wavy, spooky capital letters here). There are all kinds of great tips on where to go to pick up girls, best girl/girl positions for every activity, and even clipping your nails!
As a woman who classifies herself as "straight" but who has been with quite a few women and has even had a relationship with a woman, she is the perfect candidate to write the book on the subject, because she gets what it's like to be one of those people who like to have their cake and eat it too (like me!), yet can't fully commit to one or the other permanently.
There is a great chapter that discusses the notion of the whole "straight? bi? queer?" argument/phenomena/mind-boggling puzzle, and it was definitely my favourite part of the whole book. It got me questioning my own sexuality (which I usually just let go with the flow), what it is that I like about my sexuality, and exactly what kind of box I would put myself in, if I were to put myself in a box (as always with me, pun intended!). While I'm someone who is extremely comfortable with who I am as far as sex goes, it was still pretty fun to try and figure out my place on the Kinsey Scale (which goes from 0 to 6; 0 being exclusively heterosexual, 6 being exclusively homosexual, and 3 being completely equal parts both (I concluded that I was approximately a 3.1, ha!) which Sincero briefly describes in an effort to prove to girls that you don't HAVE to be either one or the other indefinitely, and most importantly, that everyone is different when it comes to who they like to sleep with!
As I already mentioned, "The Straight Girl's Guide to Sleeping With Chicks" was far and beyond the best book I've ever read as far as sexual education goes. It'll make you laugh pretty hard, intrigue you to try girls, and just all-around feel great about being a chick.
And now, dear friends - the kinky ones, the repressed ones, the apathetic ones, ALL of you! - we come to the interactive part of my entry!
I'd like to know where YOU stand on the sexuality scale.
Poll The Kinsey Scale poll
Comments are totally encouraged! I wanna know you! Tell me how you feel about sex, gender roles, labels, all of it! Rant if you want to! I know I rant frequently about the subject, because I HATE labelling sexuality. Myself, I have yet to have a romantic relationship with a girl, however I have slept with my fair share of women (let's just say I can count them on two hands) and I've explored this side of myself thoroughly enough to know that I am generally the dominant partner when I sleep with women. I don't really consider myself "straight" or "bisexual"... I like the blanket term "pansexual," heh. The book got me thinking about whether or not I could have a romantic relationship with a girl if I had the opportunity, and after thinking it through, I'm still unsure! I don't even like having relationships with men, let alone with women! ;)
Hmm. I suppose if I found a chick who I liked enough and was crazy-attracted to, I might be able to do it. The problem is, I'm not sure if I'd feel like breaking that barrier because of the attention it would attract (and I HATE attracting attention to myself because I hate having to deal with the general public). But who knows, maybe ruffling some tail-feathers would be fun.
I gotta say though... my main outlook on the whole thing, as it stands, is: I just like fucking girls. Girls are sexy as hell, cute, soft, familiar, and awesome. AND - one thing that plays a big role in my feelings for girls is this: when I am with a fella, I am most often the submissive partner. I like being dominated by guys, I like feeling girly and weak and not in control. It gets me off. But when it comes to women, I love to be the more dominating half... pushing her around, making her do what I say, ravaging her... you get the point. Being able to explore both dominance and submission is really interesting, and essential for me. Because of my sexual history (and history in the making), I know how to express both of these roles, and I've gotten comfortable with both of them in different situations. And seriously... being in control of a girl is completely hot and it really gets me going. Power is VERY fun! Especially when it's sexual power.
When it comes to relationships, dudes are easier, because I pretty much know what to expect by now, and that's easy breezy compared to trying to navigate a whole new system. And casual sex, well I'll do that with anyone! ;)
Sometimes I get confused by relationships because a huge part of me is just this sexually carefree hippy who wants to fuck anyone I feel like, and touch and kiss people and just be free. It's just sex. It means nothing, it's fun, and it's lovely. It makes me high!
When I am in love, sex morphs into a whole diffent animal, and fucking that particular person turns into a special, intimate, incomparable thing. It's because of the trust factor, mostly. Having innate mutual trust in your sexual endeavours with a person is... well, there's nothing like it! You can push everything to the limit and still have faith that you'll both be safe and happy at the end of the night (or morning, or afternoon). But it doesn't change the fact that sex with people I don't love is awesome too; it's just different and way more casual.
Given that attitude, you'd think I'd be totally down with letting my partner go fuck anything that moves, right? Nope! For some reason, I can't overcome this double-standard, therefore I just let the whole subject lie because I don't feel like getting into some crazy, emotional shoot-out and ending up hurting anyone.
Human beings are insane! We're so complicated and jealous and possessive and weird when it comes to sex... even the most liberated of us! Sigh. I could go on and on and on and on about this topic... and on...
I digress! Go take my poll, yo!
Please, let's get some discussion going! :)
Peace.
You know what's really cool, and I'm gonna sound like such a dork when I say this, but I'm really glad about my blossoming friendship with Amy. I like her so much. Normally I have tense, paranoid feelings about making new friends because I always think people are using me for something, or have shitty intentions, but I don't get ANY of that with her. She is just fucking cool, and so funny, and we get along famously. It was weird, we hardly knew each other, and then we just kind of "clicked". Here's the dorky, gradeschool diary part: I think she has best friend potential. And that makes me feel so good and relieved, because seriously, I thought I had lost the ability to get close to people anymore. To give a shit about new people or really have any desire to create any new, lasting close friendships. But here's Amy and I, like two peas in a pod, totally share the same sense of humour and music, not to mention our shared taste for vices and total apathy, and I don't even mind talking on the phone to her. And I HATE talking on the phone! Aw. :)
(We are even making each other mixed cds)
Alright, that's enough of that. I'm starting to feel like I'm 13. Ha ha.
***
Book review time!
On the table today:
The Straight Girl's Guide to Sleeping with Chicks by Jen Sincero
Never have I read a sexual well-being book that I loved as much as I did this handy little book! "The Straight Girl's Guide" is definitely not stuffy, condescending or by-the-book as so many sex guides tend to be (or at least the ones I've read, and that's quite a few). Sincero's voice is fresh and unstifled... she talks to you like she's your funny friend (for example, she includes a chart full of euphemisms for masturbation, one of which is "romancing the bean"), not some author who has no idea about your individual wants and needs. And she isn't afraid to say "pussy!" Ahh. Totally refreshing. 'Cause hey... girls are allowed to say "pussy," too. After all, we're the ones who own them!
In essence, the book is a complete handbook for girls who refer to themselves as Straight but are curious about expanding their sexual horizons to include same sex encounters. However, that's a pretty broad topic, so she goes into all kinds of things that can help any girl make the most of their girl/girl endeavours, such as masturbation (to give you an idea of what might feel good for someone else who has got the same parts!), toys, pussy-eating (there are a ton of amazing and graphic tips in here! Guys, you could benefit from reading that chapter, too...), threesomes, etc. with all kinds of pearls of wisdom from random women (and some men!) who she interviewed for the purpose of researching the book. Sincero's target audience for this tome of girly goodness runs the gamut from curious but as-of-yet inexperienced hetero girls, all the way to regular carpet-munchers, and everything imaginable in between along the girl/girl spectrum.
Sincero's laid back, witty style quells any fears of dipping your toes into foreign waters by demystifying all kinds of things, including the ever-feared cunnilingus (insert wavy, spooky capital letters here). There are all kinds of great tips on where to go to pick up girls, best girl/girl positions for every activity, and even clipping your nails!
As a woman who classifies herself as "straight" but who has been with quite a few women and has even had a relationship with a woman, she is the perfect candidate to write the book on the subject, because she gets what it's like to be one of those people who like to have their cake and eat it too (like me!), yet can't fully commit to one or the other permanently.
There is a great chapter that discusses the notion of the whole "straight? bi? queer?" argument/phenomena/mind-boggling puzzle, and it was definitely my favourite part of the whole book. It got me questioning my own sexuality (which I usually just let go with the flow), what it is that I like about my sexuality, and exactly what kind of box I would put myself in, if I were to put myself in a box (as always with me, pun intended!). While I'm someone who is extremely comfortable with who I am as far as sex goes, it was still pretty fun to try and figure out my place on the Kinsey Scale (which goes from 0 to 6; 0 being exclusively heterosexual, 6 being exclusively homosexual, and 3 being completely equal parts both (I concluded that I was approximately a 3.1, ha!) which Sincero briefly describes in an effort to prove to girls that you don't HAVE to be either one or the other indefinitely, and most importantly, that everyone is different when it comes to who they like to sleep with!
As I already mentioned, "The Straight Girl's Guide to Sleeping With Chicks" was far and beyond the best book I've ever read as far as sexual education goes. It'll make you laugh pretty hard, intrigue you to try girls, and just all-around feel great about being a chick.
And now, dear friends - the kinky ones, the repressed ones, the apathetic ones, ALL of you! - we come to the interactive part of my entry!
I'd like to know where YOU stand on the sexuality scale.
Poll The Kinsey Scale poll
Comments are totally encouraged! I wanna know you! Tell me how you feel about sex, gender roles, labels, all of it! Rant if you want to! I know I rant frequently about the subject, because I HATE labelling sexuality. Myself, I have yet to have a romantic relationship with a girl, however I have slept with my fair share of women (let's just say I can count them on two hands) and I've explored this side of myself thoroughly enough to know that I am generally the dominant partner when I sleep with women. I don't really consider myself "straight" or "bisexual"... I like the blanket term "pansexual," heh. The book got me thinking about whether or not I could have a romantic relationship with a girl if I had the opportunity, and after thinking it through, I'm still unsure! I don't even like having relationships with men, let alone with women! ;)
Hmm. I suppose if I found a chick who I liked enough and was crazy-attracted to, I might be able to do it. The problem is, I'm not sure if I'd feel like breaking that barrier because of the attention it would attract (and I HATE attracting attention to myself because I hate having to deal with the general public). But who knows, maybe ruffling some tail-feathers would be fun.
I gotta say though... my main outlook on the whole thing, as it stands, is: I just like fucking girls. Girls are sexy as hell, cute, soft, familiar, and awesome. AND - one thing that plays a big role in my feelings for girls is this: when I am with a fella, I am most often the submissive partner. I like being dominated by guys, I like feeling girly and weak and not in control. It gets me off. But when it comes to women, I love to be the more dominating half... pushing her around, making her do what I say, ravaging her... you get the point. Being able to explore both dominance and submission is really interesting, and essential for me. Because of my sexual history (and history in the making), I know how to express both of these roles, and I've gotten comfortable with both of them in different situations. And seriously... being in control of a girl is completely hot and it really gets me going. Power is VERY fun! Especially when it's sexual power.
When it comes to relationships, dudes are easier, because I pretty much know what to expect by now, and that's easy breezy compared to trying to navigate a whole new system. And casual sex, well I'll do that with anyone! ;)
Sometimes I get confused by relationships because a huge part of me is just this sexually carefree hippy who wants to fuck anyone I feel like, and touch and kiss people and just be free. It's just sex. It means nothing, it's fun, and it's lovely. It makes me high!
When I am in love, sex morphs into a whole diffent animal, and fucking that particular person turns into a special, intimate, incomparable thing. It's because of the trust factor, mostly. Having innate mutual trust in your sexual endeavours with a person is... well, there's nothing like it! You can push everything to the limit and still have faith that you'll both be safe and happy at the end of the night (or morning, or afternoon). But it doesn't change the fact that sex with people I don't love is awesome too; it's just different and way more casual.
Given that attitude, you'd think I'd be totally down with letting my partner go fuck anything that moves, right? Nope! For some reason, I can't overcome this double-standard, therefore I just let the whole subject lie because I don't feel like getting into some crazy, emotional shoot-out and ending up hurting anyone.
Human beings are insane! We're so complicated and jealous and possessive and weird when it comes to sex... even the most liberated of us! Sigh. I could go on and on and on and on about this topic... and on...
I digress! Go take my poll, yo!
Please, let's get some discussion going! :)
Peace.