i think i'm addicted to rage-ohol...
I don't know if I have a raging case of PMS, if I'm bi-polar or a total fucking SOCIOPATH but these past two days, I'm surprised I haven't killed a human being with my own hands. I have been so MISERABLE AND ANGRY and in KILL mode. Holy shit. I am so not even joking whatsoever. This is my serious face, see? --> :|
While I was at work, I wrote this insane, intense journal entry on a piece of paper that was full of probably the angriest, most hateful, terrible things I have ever had the courage to write down on paper. It kind of felt good, I suppose. But it didn't really do much to keep the vein in my neck from bulging.
I don't know what I'm so angry about. I just HATE people. They stink, they're stupid, they make me CRAZY. I wish I could live in a bubble. I can't handle the general public anymore, I swear to god, you're going to see me in the newspaper soon as the next big serial killer. JOKING. That was a disclaimer.
This is so not healthy! What's up with me!? I had a great weekend, the funnest in awhile, and then I go back to work Monday and since then it's been all I can do not to scream in people's faces that I hate them and hope they choke on a plastic bag. I'm scared to look people in the face because I'm afraid they will be killed by the death rays shooting out from my pupils. Blargh, I feel so tense. Maybe I'll take a scorching hot bath tonight and just masturbate for a few hours. That always solves tension, ha ha.
Well, now that that's out, let's talk books!
I'm STILL reading "Sexus" by Henry Miller. It's a huge book, and it's a bit of a tricky read, so I'm just taking my time and reading other things in the meantime. So, I sped through Nikki Sixx's "The Heroin Diaries" in two days (borrowed it from Nikki at work). Meh... it was full of fun and debauchery, but it reaked of self-pity and teenage angst. It kind of annoyed me. I like my rockstars bigger than life but Nikki Sixx comes off more like a pissed off 16-year old. Which sucks, because I used to love that dude. And the whole book is designed like a fucking Emily Strange t-shirt or some shit. Gag. The only thing I liked about the book was hearing about Motley Crue's old antics. Ah yes. It's a good thing I'm not a famous musician like they were... because I'd probably be stirring up the same kind of shit. Oh, and banging Duff McKagan.
I'm also in the middle of "The Straight Girl's Guide to Sleeping With Chicks" by a hilarious girl named Jen Sincero. I'm LOVING it so far! I'm obviously not going into the book as a chick-fucking virgin, but that doesn't mean I can't still enjoy her vulgar humour and all around tips for loving yourself better. It's got a lot of interesting information in it on the politics of lesbianism and bisexuality, and I really enjoy reading about that kind of thing. Last but not least, I also read "The Ultimate Guide to Strap-On Sex: A Complete Resource for Women and Men" at work, by a butch femme named Karlyn Lotney, who goes by the handle "Fairy Butch". There was a lot of info in there about dildos, anatomy, etc. that I skipped through because it was the same-old, same-old, but the chapters on packing (what butches do to define their sexuality as a femme boy) were pretty eye-opening because I have never read too much into that kind of thing, and there are all kinds of cool little blurbs from people from all walks of sexuality, who talk about what kind of stimulation they prefer, etc. Cool stuff.
Anyways, I think I'll go take that bath now and think about petting puppies and pretend I'm wrapped in a big, furry pink bubble where no one can drive me crazy.
xo
While I was at work, I wrote this insane, intense journal entry on a piece of paper that was full of probably the angriest, most hateful, terrible things I have ever had the courage to write down on paper. It kind of felt good, I suppose. But it didn't really do much to keep the vein in my neck from bulging.
I don't know what I'm so angry about. I just HATE people. They stink, they're stupid, they make me CRAZY. I wish I could live in a bubble. I can't handle the general public anymore, I swear to god, you're going to see me in the newspaper soon as the next big serial killer. JOKING. That was a disclaimer.
This is so not healthy! What's up with me!? I had a great weekend, the funnest in awhile, and then I go back to work Monday and since then it's been all I can do not to scream in people's faces that I hate them and hope they choke on a plastic bag. I'm scared to look people in the face because I'm afraid they will be killed by the death rays shooting out from my pupils. Blargh, I feel so tense. Maybe I'll take a scorching hot bath tonight and just masturbate for a few hours. That always solves tension, ha ha.
Well, now that that's out, let's talk books!
I'm STILL reading "Sexus" by Henry Miller. It's a huge book, and it's a bit of a tricky read, so I'm just taking my time and reading other things in the meantime. So, I sped through Nikki Sixx's "The Heroin Diaries" in two days (borrowed it from Nikki at work). Meh... it was full of fun and debauchery, but it reaked of self-pity and teenage angst. It kind of annoyed me. I like my rockstars bigger than life but Nikki Sixx comes off more like a pissed off 16-year old. Which sucks, because I used to love that dude. And the whole book is designed like a fucking Emily Strange t-shirt or some shit. Gag. The only thing I liked about the book was hearing about Motley Crue's old antics. Ah yes. It's a good thing I'm not a famous musician like they were... because I'd probably be stirring up the same kind of shit. Oh, and banging Duff McKagan.
I'm also in the middle of "The Straight Girl's Guide to Sleeping With Chicks" by a hilarious girl named Jen Sincero. I'm LOVING it so far! I'm obviously not going into the book as a chick-fucking virgin, but that doesn't mean I can't still enjoy her vulgar humour and all around tips for loving yourself better. It's got a lot of interesting information in it on the politics of lesbianism and bisexuality, and I really enjoy reading about that kind of thing. Last but not least, I also read "The Ultimate Guide to Strap-On Sex: A Complete Resource for Women and Men" at work, by a butch femme named Karlyn Lotney, who goes by the handle "Fairy Butch". There was a lot of info in there about dildos, anatomy, etc. that I skipped through because it was the same-old, same-old, but the chapters on packing (what butches do to define their sexuality as a femme boy) were pretty eye-opening because I have never read too much into that kind of thing, and there are all kinds of cool little blurbs from people from all walks of sexuality, who talk about what kind of stimulation they prefer, etc. Cool stuff.
Anyways, I think I'll go take that bath now and think about petting puppies and pretend I'm wrapped in a big, furry pink bubble where no one can drive me crazy.
xo