(no subject)
I am still majorly wrestling with these issues.
It's so easy to say you're accepting yourself, one day, but it's never really totally true the next week. You were just in a good mood that day. Someone at the coffee shop that morning told you that you were pretty.
***
Sometimes I truly do feel like London is utterly sucking my soul. I kind of a breakdown in my head yesterday. I feel stuck here. I'm not going to write some big long soul-emptying journal entry here because to be totally honest, I'm high right now and getting kind of tired. I just wanted to jot this shit down because I know I won't have another chance to sit and chill and write for another few days.
The only thing keeping me in London is Dave. My wanderlust is fucking unbelievable. I'm lost! Or not lost enough.
What do I do? I want to marry Dave and spend my life loving him and being by his side, but he's happy here in London. I feel like if I stay here much longer I'm going to lose my mind! This city is so not my city soulmate. I don't know what city is, but I know London's not it.
I talk about moving to Toronto all the time, but when I really think about it, there are a lot of fears and doubts I have about that.
This is the summer where I finally get my full license, and a car, and I start driving.
Either I start driving, so I can escape this city on weekends, and feel less trapped, like I can just take off whenever I want and London DOESN'T have a kung-fu grip on me... or else I will be driven crazy.
I have had to smoke pot just to get to sleep these past couple of nights because I'm so confused and mind-racy right now. WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE? What do I want? What should I do next? Where the HELL is my life heading? I need some direction. I NEED IT, so god, dammit, please send me some.
Am I going to be trapped here forever? Will I ever really just GO FOR IT?
Stay tuned, I guess. :/
Ps.
Nahhhh nah nah-nahhhh nahhh nah, nah nahhh nah-nahhh nah nah,
Nahhhh nah nah-nahhhh nahhh nah-nah-nahhh nah-nahhh!
It's so easy to say you're accepting yourself, one day, but it's never really totally true the next week. You were just in a good mood that day. Someone at the coffee shop that morning told you that you were pretty.
***
Sometimes I truly do feel like London is utterly sucking my soul. I kind of a breakdown in my head yesterday. I feel stuck here. I'm not going to write some big long soul-emptying journal entry here because to be totally honest, I'm high right now and getting kind of tired. I just wanted to jot this shit down because I know I won't have another chance to sit and chill and write for another few days.
The only thing keeping me in London is Dave. My wanderlust is fucking unbelievable. I'm lost! Or not lost enough.
What do I do? I want to marry Dave and spend my life loving him and being by his side, but he's happy here in London. I feel like if I stay here much longer I'm going to lose my mind! This city is so not my city soulmate. I don't know what city is, but I know London's not it.
I talk about moving to Toronto all the time, but when I really think about it, there are a lot of fears and doubts I have about that.
This is the summer where I finally get my full license, and a car, and I start driving.
Either I start driving, so I can escape this city on weekends, and feel less trapped, like I can just take off whenever I want and London DOESN'T have a kung-fu grip on me... or else I will be driven crazy.
I have had to smoke pot just to get to sleep these past couple of nights because I'm so confused and mind-racy right now. WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE? What do I want? What should I do next? Where the HELL is my life heading? I need some direction. I NEED IT, so god, dammit, please send me some.
Am I going to be trapped here forever? Will I ever really just GO FOR IT?
Stay tuned, I guess. :/
Ps.
Nahhhh nah nah-nahhhh nahhh nah, nah nahhh nah-nahhh nah nah,
Nahhhh nah nah-nahhhh nahhh nah-nah-nahhh nah-nahhh!