i'm no track superstar
Because of my relationship track-record, I know a lot of people think of me as just a chick who chews up men and then spits them out.
I hate to think that I'm thought of that way by some, because I couldn't be farther from that girl... my reputation for doing that to guys goes so much deeper than that. There are reasons. Mostly my own issues. I never mean to hurt anyone. My life just happens how it happens. Feelings are impossible to control.
I don't know why I'm writing about all that. There is nothing going on in my life right now that prompted those thoughts. I guess it's just because a lass on my f-list wrote an entry that brought that stuff up in my head, so it sparked something.
Not that I've ever been someone to give a shit what anyone thinks of me. It's just... sometimes when I talk to old friends who I knew while I was dating certain people, it feels like there is a glint in their eyes shining the word "man-eater! man-eater!" Oh well.
I really do think that I've broken that "date a guy for two years and then fall out of love with him and throw his heart into the street" pattern. I've been saying that for awhile now. Here's hoping I'm right! Nah. Since I met Dave I knew he was different, we were different, the love I have for him is different... we treat each other right, these days, and that's how I want it to stay. He knows about my pattern. He knows about it quite well. I warned him. He says there's no way he'll let that happen with us. Obviously he has no control over that, for the most part, but it's nice to hear someone say that to me.
***
So, if I could just have a self-congratulatory moment for a minute here, yesterday I COMPLETELY stuck to my food diary and didn't eat a single bad thing. And I'm pretty sure I stayed very far below 1800 calories. Dave wanted to cook us dinner, so while I was at the gym he made a healthy dinner consisting of baked chicken breasts, boiled red potatoes and mixed veggies. He's being so supportive of all this. I think he knows how fucked in the head I am over my weight issues, so he's just trying to be there for me as much as I can and not let me beat myself up too much. I apologized because I was like "when you move in here in June, you're going to probably have to eat way healthier because of me" and he's like "That's totally fine!" I'm pretty sure he wants to start eating better too because he's concerned about cholesterol and stuff. So that's a plus.
I'm just proud of myself because instead of sleeping in until the last possible minute like I usually do, I've been getting up early(-ish) and making my lunches and eating breakfast at home instead of at work. This morning I had non-fat cottage cheese with strawberries, and then once I got to work I had a yogurt cup and a banana. For lunch I made a turkey wrap on a multi-grain tortilla with spinach, cucumber, a little bit of light cream cheese, and a drizzle of fat-free ranch dressing, plus mushrooms and broccoli to munch on. Woo! None of these stupid fast food places around my work have been tempting me. I just look forward to eating the food I bring to work, and I find that I don't think about crappy food.
Last night at the gym I worked on my lower body, so tonight I'm going to focus on arms and shoulders. I found that I was really lagging with my cardio yesterday (I did 20 minutes on the elliptical and 10 minutes of spinning, but it was a lonnnnnggggg 30 minutes), so hopefully today I'll have more gusto.
Aaaaaanyway...!
***
The sun is shining again today but who knows how long that will last. Hopefully it stays this way now, because man, sunshine is uplifting!
I can't remember if I mentioned this in here or not already but Dave is moving into my apartment with me at the beginning of June. I'm a little bit nervous to give up my solo-living, because I like it SO much, but I'm also excited because I think we're both finally ready to live together for real. He keeps blabbin' on about getting a two-bedroom in my building come winter (the two bedroom apts. have a separate dining room as well, so for $150 more per month you're getting TWO extra rooms!), but I'm like "dude, let's just see if this time we can live peaceably together at all!" heh heh. I think it'll be fine. I've got my fingers crossed!
Mrah, I wish my ShirtKiller order would hurry up and get here already! I'm dying to have the new Genghis Tron record in my hot little hands! Aerjq;lkwjeriajdf;!
I also ordered the new Baroness record, and this wicked tribute to Black Flag on coloured vinyl. Ooooh! I got a bunch of crap for Dave too (Brain Banger, National Acrobat and Prideswallower cds, and some Lords and Charles Bronson t-shirts), because I'm a rad girlfriend like that. I mean, the dude gives me fucking pedicures because my feet are ruined, and he does my dishes sometimes ('cause he knows it's the chore I abhor most), AND likes to cook a mean dinner... so he deserves a sweet treat. :D
There's something else I kinda wanna talk about but I'll do that later.
Also, I promise I'll get around to answering those questions soon! I've just been flaky. Ah what else is new? ;)
I hate to think that I'm thought of that way by some, because I couldn't be farther from that girl... my reputation for doing that to guys goes so much deeper than that. There are reasons. Mostly my own issues. I never mean to hurt anyone. My life just happens how it happens. Feelings are impossible to control.
I don't know why I'm writing about all that. There is nothing going on in my life right now that prompted those thoughts. I guess it's just because a lass on my f-list wrote an entry that brought that stuff up in my head, so it sparked something.
Not that I've ever been someone to give a shit what anyone thinks of me. It's just... sometimes when I talk to old friends who I knew while I was dating certain people, it feels like there is a glint in their eyes shining the word "man-eater! man-eater!" Oh well.
I really do think that I've broken that "date a guy for two years and then fall out of love with him and throw his heart into the street" pattern. I've been saying that for awhile now. Here's hoping I'm right! Nah. Since I met Dave I knew he was different, we were different, the love I have for him is different... we treat each other right, these days, and that's how I want it to stay. He knows about my pattern. He knows about it quite well. I warned him. He says there's no way he'll let that happen with us. Obviously he has no control over that, for the most part, but it's nice to hear someone say that to me.
***
So, if I could just have a self-congratulatory moment for a minute here, yesterday I COMPLETELY stuck to my food diary and didn't eat a single bad thing. And I'm pretty sure I stayed very far below 1800 calories. Dave wanted to cook us dinner, so while I was at the gym he made a healthy dinner consisting of baked chicken breasts, boiled red potatoes and mixed veggies. He's being so supportive of all this. I think he knows how fucked in the head I am over my weight issues, so he's just trying to be there for me as much as I can and not let me beat myself up too much. I apologized because I was like "when you move in here in June, you're going to probably have to eat way healthier because of me" and he's like "That's totally fine!" I'm pretty sure he wants to start eating better too because he's concerned about cholesterol and stuff. So that's a plus.
I'm just proud of myself because instead of sleeping in until the last possible minute like I usually do, I've been getting up early(-ish) and making my lunches and eating breakfast at home instead of at work. This morning I had non-fat cottage cheese with strawberries, and then once I got to work I had a yogurt cup and a banana. For lunch I made a turkey wrap on a multi-grain tortilla with spinach, cucumber, a little bit of light cream cheese, and a drizzle of fat-free ranch dressing, plus mushrooms and broccoli to munch on. Woo! None of these stupid fast food places around my work have been tempting me. I just look forward to eating the food I bring to work, and I find that I don't think about crappy food.
Last night at the gym I worked on my lower body, so tonight I'm going to focus on arms and shoulders. I found that I was really lagging with my cardio yesterday (I did 20 minutes on the elliptical and 10 minutes of spinning, but it was a lonnnnnggggg 30 minutes), so hopefully today I'll have more gusto.
Aaaaaanyway...!
***
The sun is shining again today but who knows how long that will last. Hopefully it stays this way now, because man, sunshine is uplifting!
I can't remember if I mentioned this in here or not already but Dave is moving into my apartment with me at the beginning of June. I'm a little bit nervous to give up my solo-living, because I like it SO much, but I'm also excited because I think we're both finally ready to live together for real. He keeps blabbin' on about getting a two-bedroom in my building come winter (the two bedroom apts. have a separate dining room as well, so for $150 more per month you're getting TWO extra rooms!), but I'm like "dude, let's just see if this time we can live peaceably together at all!" heh heh. I think it'll be fine. I've got my fingers crossed!
Mrah, I wish my ShirtKiller order would hurry up and get here already! I'm dying to have the new Genghis Tron record in my hot little hands! Aerjq;lkwjeriajdf;!
I also ordered the new Baroness record, and this wicked tribute to Black Flag on coloured vinyl. Ooooh! I got a bunch of crap for Dave too (Brain Banger, National Acrobat and Prideswallower cds, and some Lords and Charles Bronson t-shirts), because I'm a rad girlfriend like that. I mean, the dude gives me fucking pedicures because my feet are ruined, and he does my dishes sometimes ('cause he knows it's the chore I abhor most), AND likes to cook a mean dinner... so he deserves a sweet treat. :D
There's something else I kinda wanna talk about but I'll do that later.
Also, I promise I'll get around to answering those questions soon! I've just been flaky. Ah what else is new? ;)