i'm good, i'm gone.
Oh hai there.
I did end up staying home tonight. I drank a bottle of wine and was feeling good. I wanted to feel better.
Awhile I back I got these pills from the sex expo I went to with Amy. They were supposed to be like, I dunno, a herbal alternative to ecstasy. I got them for free because of my job. Never took 'em, until tonight. I decided, meh, tonight's a good a night as any to try these suckers. Just one.
So far it's got some of the same properties as E. I'm really awake. Aware, focused. But I'm kind of jittery. I mean, keep in mind I was already drunk when I took the shit. You're not really supposed to do that with E, but whatever. I've got a bunch of water. Plus I was curious to feel what it would be like to have drunkeness and highness fighting against each other.
Why do I so desperately want to feel something?
Lately I just feel like crying a lot. But I don't, for some reason. I'm blank. And so sad, inside.
I'm never happy and I don't know why.
I don't know what's wrong with me. That question pops into my head like, every two weeks.
I think I'm seriously unbalanced.
At least Jen just came online. She'll make me happy. Yay :)
Ps. I don't get drunk and high because I'm unhappy. Well, yes I do. But even if I was happy, I'd still do the same shit. I would just do it for different reasons. I don't know. I just really like to expand my consciousness. It's fun to experiment with my brain. So. whatever.
I did end up staying home tonight. I drank a bottle of wine and was feeling good. I wanted to feel better.
Awhile I back I got these pills from the sex expo I went to with Amy. They were supposed to be like, I dunno, a herbal alternative to ecstasy. I got them for free because of my job. Never took 'em, until tonight. I decided, meh, tonight's a good a night as any to try these suckers. Just one.
So far it's got some of the same properties as E. I'm really awake. Aware, focused. But I'm kind of jittery. I mean, keep in mind I was already drunk when I took the shit. You're not really supposed to do that with E, but whatever. I've got a bunch of water. Plus I was curious to feel what it would be like to have drunkeness and highness fighting against each other.
Why do I so desperately want to feel something?
Lately I just feel like crying a lot. But I don't, for some reason. I'm blank. And so sad, inside.
I'm never happy and I don't know why.
I don't know what's wrong with me. That question pops into my head like, every two weeks.
I think I'm seriously unbalanced.
At least Jen just came online. She'll make me happy. Yay :)
Ps. I don't get drunk and high because I'm unhappy. Well, yes I do. But even if I was happy, I'd still do the same shit. I would just do it for different reasons. I don't know. I just really like to expand my consciousness. It's fun to experiment with my brain. So. whatever.