get ready for a long entry...
soo much to update about, but i really dont feel like making a huge long ass entry. but ill try...
- mos def and blackilicous: my friend jerico bought me a ticket to go see them. wow i love him. show was a trip to me. first hip hop show with assigned seating. what a trip. over all that shit was ill. after the show i was literally empowered. i felt on top of the world and nothing or no one can bring me down. i felt that i could get through any obstacle life threw at me, and if things got rough i had music to smoothen everything out. wow i love music.
- random ride home: chris literally asked me if i wanted to go home and i left within the hour.
- home: i tried really hard to make it a surprise but barely telling anyone. but a certain individual let the cat out of the bag. oh well. it was all good. didnt see everyone i wanted to see. but overall the trip was well spent. chilled with my nephew a lot this visit. he makes me feel special. i could see it in his every action that he missed me and that he loves it when im home. i miss his sweet kisses and hugs. sucks how i cant see him on a daily basis anymore. gosh hes soo cute. biggest trip out of my life was on sunday. i visited all of my relatives in the valley. had a moment with my aunt. sigh* i love my family
- school: thought i was doing great. found out i was doing satisfactory. time to embrace my studious way of living and enter academic hell. i failed my stats quiz. 25 out of 70. didnt do too well on my linguistics midterm. horrendous job on my rhetoric essay. yikes.
- hatred of boys: thursday
night must have been the frosting of my cake of anti boys. now
honestly... what are boys problem?!? i mean im aware that there are
"good" guys out there... but theres a whole clan of assholes that
totally mess it up for the entire male species. i hate boys with the
outmost passion. i hate frat boys even more. ahhhh!! someone really
needs to slap them in the face so they can wake up from their little
dream that they are the shit and they can hit anything that moves. no
details needed to explain the reason of my hatred. but dont worry guys.
it wasnt me that felt the testerome wrath.
- dilated peoples: ive
always heard about how dope performers dialted are. and finally i was
able to experience a show that lived up to its word. it was sooo
ssssiiiiccckkk. babu ripped that shit sick. god damn was i feeling it.
atmosphere was tight to. tight meaning the place it was held at. it
wasnt like no colloseum like mos def. wasnt a little lobby room like
micah 9. perfect spacing well crowded room. as for the crowd itself...
damn did it trip me out. some girl next to me yelled out " i want to
have ur babies " when they were performing. i never thought i would
hear that sentence in a hip hop show. ya maybe for jayz or rkelly...
but dilated? wow was that a trip. i was hella claiming "CA... all day",
but no one knew what the fuck i was talking about. i wasnt saying it
for the crowd though. i was trying to get evidence or rockah say it.
but unfortunatley my efforts were fruitless as i received the weirdest
stares from strangers as i yelled that shit.
- weekly lock in day: i lock myself in my dorm once a week to "catch up on my academics". but another day well wasted. i have done absolutley shit today. yay for me.
- tried not to but i must: i know i shouldnt talk about chris. i know i shouldnt think about chris. but i am. i talk all this shit that yay its over with him and im over him. obviously not. we had this agreement not to talk to each other at all for an entire month. omg were there so many times i picked up my phone and began dialing his number. i want to tell him about the dilated show. i want to tell him how i saw a couple fighting at this one party and how it reminded me of him when we use to fight. i wanted to say sorry for all those times i would fight with him in public and for all those times i was too stubborn to let him walk away. i wanted to ask him if this whole not talking thing is hurting him and making him crazy. i want to ask him if hes itching to call me as well. i want to ask him if he still thinks of me. i know its pointless desires. and i swear i wont fall into them. just random thoughts stuck in my head due to the constant flow of slow jams and lonesome environment on a saturday night.