You want to do *WHAT*?????
This is what my parents and friends would have said, if I had any, when I announced (if I had done such a thing) that I wanted to have a ranch and train horses "for a living." That is, for my life. It doesn't really have anything to do with making a living, at least not the way working at a bank has to do with making a living, or being a nurse, or selling carpeting, or things like that. But they would have said it anyway. I looked at a tape yesterday about lateral movement training, and I could feel the movements of the rider and the horse in my heart and in my soul and my mind and body, and all I knew was that that's what I had to do. NOt want to do; had to do. I had to call Wendy and tell her and all she could say was "YES! Yes; that was exactly what I was trying to tell someone the other day, but no one really knows!"
And it is what I have to do. IT's terrifying, breathtakingly frightening, knowing what I have before me, but somehow it doesn't make any difference at all other than making my insides cold and crampy. It doesn't change what I have to do
And it's only THREE DAYS AWAY now, if the court documents are correct now. Which of course I'm goint to begin to verify starting tomorrow with a barrage of innocent phone calls. I ddon't intend to get caught unawares again in all this. OF Course we still have to go over to home and clean up the important things therek like daddy's office stuff and the stuff from the house, no matter how bad it is. In a few days six new horses will be here and I will be overwhelmed by their presence, their color, their smell, their feel, their warmth, their discomfort at being in a new place with no one they know. And I will have to be everyone to them, everyday until they begin to feel at home in their herd. I only feel anxious about not being sufficient for them, otherwise I only love the idea of it, of being a member of their herd. I hope I will be enough for them.
The kids are still setting off fireworks in the night now--I hate that. So selfish of them, inconsiderate.
Back to the horses. There are Rockabye, Dazzle, Shiloh, Beau, Cloud/Tinker, and Hollywood. Something over $22,000 worth of horseflesh in that list. And five riding horses out of the lot. Which means a lot of work and training to be done.
Tomorrow I intend to head out and check out the saddles at Brighton Feed and set aside a couple of bits and so forth for the weekend if they'll do such a thing for me. I expect I can either get them to hold the saddles I need or order them quickquick from Tucker. I also need to call Damian's girl to see if we can get together and negotiate some lessons and working time together. Then I also need to negotiate whatever i can with Rhonda about a partnership in the ranch, or I won't be able to afford to do this at all. And richard and everyone else is going to have to get used to the idea of my working, or it won't fly and I will become a very depressed and unhappy cowgirl.
Oh, and there's the blasted webmaster. Who either needs to get to work or tell me he doesn't really want to do this. Either way is fine with me, but it needs to be done one way or t'other so that I don't look a fool.
I'm getting annoyed with no communication. IF I knew him better, and knew that's the way he worked, I wouldn't worry about it, but I don't know him well enough yet. Though I have the feeling I would like to; I think he does good work and would probably stick around and keep up with his end of the webmaster deal.
mtk
And it is what I have to do. IT's terrifying, breathtakingly frightening, knowing what I have before me, but somehow it doesn't make any difference at all other than making my insides cold and crampy. It doesn't change what I have to do
And it's only THREE DAYS AWAY now, if the court documents are correct now. Which of course I'm goint to begin to verify starting tomorrow with a barrage of innocent phone calls. I ddon't intend to get caught unawares again in all this. OF Course we still have to go over to home and clean up the important things therek like daddy's office stuff and the stuff from the house, no matter how bad it is. In a few days six new horses will be here and I will be overwhelmed by their presence, their color, their smell, their feel, their warmth, their discomfort at being in a new place with no one they know. And I will have to be everyone to them, everyday until they begin to feel at home in their herd. I only feel anxious about not being sufficient for them, otherwise I only love the idea of it, of being a member of their herd. I hope I will be enough for them.
The kids are still setting off fireworks in the night now--I hate that. So selfish of them, inconsiderate.
Back to the horses. There are Rockabye, Dazzle, Shiloh, Beau, Cloud/Tinker, and Hollywood. Something over $22,000 worth of horseflesh in that list. And five riding horses out of the lot. Which means a lot of work and training to be done.
Tomorrow I intend to head out and check out the saddles at Brighton Feed and set aside a couple of bits and so forth for the weekend if they'll do such a thing for me. I expect I can either get them to hold the saddles I need or order them quickquick from Tucker. I also need to call Damian's girl to see if we can get together and negotiate some lessons and working time together. Then I also need to negotiate whatever i can with Rhonda about a partnership in the ranch, or I won't be able to afford to do this at all. And richard and everyone else is going to have to get used to the idea of my working, or it won't fly and I will become a very depressed and unhappy cowgirl.
Oh, and there's the blasted webmaster. Who either needs to get to work or tell me he doesn't really want to do this. Either way is fine with me, but it needs to be done one way or t'other so that I don't look a fool.
I'm getting annoyed with no communication. IF I knew him better, and knew that's the way he worked, I wouldn't worry about it, but I don't know him well enough yet. Though I have the feeling I would like to; I think he does good work and would probably stick around and keep up with his end of the webmaster deal.
mtk