Brief Update
Had a good day hanging with Jen. This social thing may not be such a bad thing(especially if I can figure a way to ditch the anxiety and puke feeling.) Poor Jen has had a horrible life. I wish there was something I could say to make it better for her but now all I can do is listen and stare at her dumbly. I hope her fertility treatment works.
VJ has been doing awesome with sounds and interaction. I think being back in speech is really helping. I think ditching the MOPS scene really helped me because not being around a bunch of other kids takes away the constant pressure and stress I felt to get him up to speed. He will make it on his own time if we just keep helping him. The school system lady still wont call me back. I know I need to go into harassment mode and start calling and go down to her office. I get so overwhelmed just thinking about it. There is a bunch more numbers and people I need to call inregards to VJ. (So many numbers so many questions I just don't even know what to say so I freeze up and don't do anything)
I am trying to apply the slowly but surely philosophy of my step program to everything. It is called a step program not a gallop program and I am trying to apply that to everyday life and things. It seems to work sometimes and other times I just want to scream and throw things and cry because I want it now. I want everything fixed to my terms, and my terms only, NOW! But that is not how things go so meh.
Five more months and then I can say I have been smoke free for a year. I got my 30 day chip for not drinking yesterday. I should be on my half way marker for that too but I fell off the wagon. (again) I just keep setting the goal of one year and you wouldn't think it would be so hard. If I could fib myself into believing that I could have just one drink and not half the bottle I would be good but I know myself. (oh Jack how I miss you)
VJ has been doing awesome with sounds and interaction. I think being back in speech is really helping. I think ditching the MOPS scene really helped me because not being around a bunch of other kids takes away the constant pressure and stress I felt to get him up to speed. He will make it on his own time if we just keep helping him. The school system lady still wont call me back. I know I need to go into harassment mode and start calling and go down to her office. I get so overwhelmed just thinking about it. There is a bunch more numbers and people I need to call inregards to VJ. (So many numbers so many questions I just don't even know what to say so I freeze up and don't do anything)
I am trying to apply the slowly but surely philosophy of my step program to everything. It is called a step program not a gallop program and I am trying to apply that to everyday life and things. It seems to work sometimes and other times I just want to scream and throw things and cry because I want it now. I want everything fixed to my terms, and my terms only, NOW! But that is not how things go so meh.
Five more months and then I can say I have been smoke free for a year. I got my 30 day chip for not drinking yesterday. I should be on my half way marker for that too but I fell off the wagon. (again) I just keep setting the goal of one year and you wouldn't think it would be so hard. If I could fib myself into believing that I could have just one drink and not half the bottle I would be good but I know myself. (oh Jack how I miss you)