Tis Very Odd
Going Postal is Pratchetts best book.
His attacks on modern society are subtley done and done at things most people would consider to be a pain in the ass.
And to be fair, the main point raised was a bloody good one. So to a certain degree i agree with him. To a certain degree.
And tis the only book i have ever had that i have read from beginning to end in a single day.
The closest one to that was the 40k rule book that i read for two days straight with breaks to sleep and pee. However i have since learned which bits in rule books are skippable.
Anyway i actually came here to say something that has been bothering, and not to talk about the readability of a book.
I came here to say.
I think i may very well be going a little bit mad.
I keep saying things in an odd perspective, or narrating myself. Not in the normal way you do that sort of thing (as much as it can be considered normal) but i do it without thinking, and don't realise i have done it until afterwards.
LASAGNE!
thank god for that, cos i am bloody starving.
Also i can't seem to be able to see things properly. And not cos of the shite eyesight in my right eye. I mean things keep looking like things they are not.
Yesterday i was waiting for the bus, and one of the gamekeeper drove past on his quad.
As it rounded the corner, hoving into view, i thought it was a tiny tank with something stacked very oddly on top of it. Tank is the wrong word...like one of those APCs you see the UN using so much. the sort of pointed boxs.
Also i keep being able to hear things that arent making any noise.
Like the TV on mute....i have always heard that so i am not sure if that counts.
It isnt at normal volume it is a noise on the edge of hearing.
A better example would be animated gifs, the ones of people saying something over and over, but there is NO noise, it isn't coded in, so it cant just be a strange thing thrown up by oddities in TV sound systems.
And one last thing, but i am sure that is just my usual fatalism.
I have this burning desire to just go
'Fuck it' and die. I really have noone left around who i feel connected to enough to not die for.
Sure there is Aaron, and that would be a damn shame. But he is just a damned good friend. I owe him alot, some of the best times of my life for a start. But i want this itch out of my head and it seems the only way to get it out is to die.
There is Yoda too, but i dont speak to him anymore, he doesnt have the net for a start, and seems to be in a bad place, and i can never be assed speaking to people when they are like that. It hurts to much. Plus when i came home, we where not exactly happy with each other. If i had been there another few weeks we would have had a massive row and cleared the air. But as i wasn't going to be there much longer, it just kinda simmered. It almost happened that night we went to chrisses but mostly i just took a mild huff.
However if he is like he was last time i saw him at Aarons, i wont be standing for it. I wont have to as i will have owed him nothing that night. Hopefully he will come and be refreshed by the change...and the cactus. A good friend, and i wouldnt want to lose him over words never said.
Oh yeah! it was odd...well not really...i was sitting around online and Sim came online (odd enough in itself) and we where talking about my failed navy thing, and we where argueing about whether they should accept people who they thought may well quit during Basic Training.
What was odd, was that he didnt seem to be argueing to prove a point, but for the sake of argueing. It was just an observation i made.
OHOHOHOH! i got my new jacket today...yesterday.
Tis bloody awesome.
anyway the point is, i think i may very well be going mad.
a phrase i hate to use, cos it conjures up images of people in 'Wacky' ties who say
'Oh! im mad me!'
That is another point! i appear to developed a simmering hatred for Barney. My attitude towards people who refuse to do drugs, and say that they can get high enough without them, is usually to go 'Cool, you are free to think that....and within certain moral constraints so am i.' and leave the problem of legal constraints as a big question mark.
HOWEVER! in the case of Barney i make a special exception. Mainly cos when i am stoned i realise want an arrogant little twat he actually is. I admire him...admire is the wrong word, but it will suffice for now. He has found love and appears to be making it work for the long term, which is impressive enough. He is also an incredibly prolific reader, within a couple of fields. And this is the point i am trying to make.
That Barney is a man who will never step outside boundaries once they have been laid.
Look at his book collection.
Historical books (both fictional and non-fiction, you know what i mean)
Fantasy books (Sci-fi and Fantasy in its genre context such as LoTR)
Manga, manga doesnt really have genres just differently suited series.
That is it. Also the sci-fi stuff is Space Opera which is basically Fantasy with shiny bits.
It is all too...safe. It is like when you are book shopping and you go
'Hmm, that book looks bloody interesting. Or i could go number 2 of the series i have read'
And you go with Number 2, cos you know what to expect and you want to see how it progesses on.
This returning to Dunkeld has take its toll on me.
I can no longer stand the safe. The 'But its what we normally do'
I want to go and see the rest of this planet (only cos i cant see the rest of the universe) i want to go experience it.
Do fresh lychees really taste different? How do we communicate with people whose language we dont know, and they are the ones in the majority?
Questions i dont know, and i cannot find out by sitting around here. BTW i only picked lychees cos i cant think of another tropical fruit that we either dont grow here or is picked unripe, such as bananas.
I wonder how long this will last. Will it last me until i get out?
To be honest, i dont even care if i mostly stay around britain, i just want to see different places.
I dont want to feel like i owe anyone anything.
I want to be able to turn round to the guy sitting in my room covering his mouth to avoid the smell of cigarettes.
'That wont help, but leaving will' Yes that is rude, but so is being a passive aggressive fucktard.
I am pissed off at the people in the world, every single one of you is a petty little bastard. Me included. yet i know that they are the most amazing creations dreamable, capable of truly great deeds.
Damnit! why is it within my head when i come up with happy lil theories of how the universe should be. Ways that would make everyone happy, there is always this lil voice that shoots them down. That speaks to me of the bad qualities of humankind and tells me that we are fucked. and when i entertain the thoughts of that lil entity the other one chimes in about all the good ones.
It is like those pictures with the green and purple squares.
WILL I JUST DIE ALREADY!
Please.
I cant kill myself with willpower alone, and willpower alone does not control my mind.
Duty keeps kicking in.
I keep sensing that my mind is made up of all those shattered parts, and that everyone else seems to have these bits working together.
And that the bit of me that does the talking is just the bit that floats on top, and makes decisions based upon what it is handed by each of these shattered parts.
And half of these lil memoes contradict one another and thus i get nowhere.
Anyway i am off to bed to be angsty.
His attacks on modern society are subtley done and done at things most people would consider to be a pain in the ass.
And to be fair, the main point raised was a bloody good one. So to a certain degree i agree with him. To a certain degree.
And tis the only book i have ever had that i have read from beginning to end in a single day.
The closest one to that was the 40k rule book that i read for two days straight with breaks to sleep and pee. However i have since learned which bits in rule books are skippable.
Anyway i actually came here to say something that has been bothering, and not to talk about the readability of a book.
I came here to say.
I think i may very well be going a little bit mad.
I keep saying things in an odd perspective, or narrating myself. Not in the normal way you do that sort of thing (as much as it can be considered normal) but i do it without thinking, and don't realise i have done it until afterwards.
LASAGNE!
thank god for that, cos i am bloody starving.
Also i can't seem to be able to see things properly. And not cos of the shite eyesight in my right eye. I mean things keep looking like things they are not.
Yesterday i was waiting for the bus, and one of the gamekeeper drove past on his quad.
As it rounded the corner, hoving into view, i thought it was a tiny tank with something stacked very oddly on top of it. Tank is the wrong word...like one of those APCs you see the UN using so much. the sort of pointed boxs.
Also i keep being able to hear things that arent making any noise.
Like the TV on mute....i have always heard that so i am not sure if that counts.
It isnt at normal volume it is a noise on the edge of hearing.
A better example would be animated gifs, the ones of people saying something over and over, but there is NO noise, it isn't coded in, so it cant just be a strange thing thrown up by oddities in TV sound systems.
And one last thing, but i am sure that is just my usual fatalism.
I have this burning desire to just go
'Fuck it' and die. I really have noone left around who i feel connected to enough to not die for.
Sure there is Aaron, and that would be a damn shame. But he is just a damned good friend. I owe him alot, some of the best times of my life for a start. But i want this itch out of my head and it seems the only way to get it out is to die.
There is Yoda too, but i dont speak to him anymore, he doesnt have the net for a start, and seems to be in a bad place, and i can never be assed speaking to people when they are like that. It hurts to much. Plus when i came home, we where not exactly happy with each other. If i had been there another few weeks we would have had a massive row and cleared the air. But as i wasn't going to be there much longer, it just kinda simmered. It almost happened that night we went to chrisses but mostly i just took a mild huff.
However if he is like he was last time i saw him at Aarons, i wont be standing for it. I wont have to as i will have owed him nothing that night. Hopefully he will come and be refreshed by the change...and the cactus. A good friend, and i wouldnt want to lose him over words never said.
Oh yeah! it was odd...well not really...i was sitting around online and Sim came online (odd enough in itself) and we where talking about my failed navy thing, and we where argueing about whether they should accept people who they thought may well quit during Basic Training.
What was odd, was that he didnt seem to be argueing to prove a point, but for the sake of argueing. It was just an observation i made.
OHOHOHOH! i got my new jacket today...yesterday.
Tis bloody awesome.
anyway the point is, i think i may very well be going mad.
a phrase i hate to use, cos it conjures up images of people in 'Wacky' ties who say
'Oh! im mad me!'
That is another point! i appear to developed a simmering hatred for Barney. My attitude towards people who refuse to do drugs, and say that they can get high enough without them, is usually to go 'Cool, you are free to think that....and within certain moral constraints so am i.' and leave the problem of legal constraints as a big question mark.
HOWEVER! in the case of Barney i make a special exception. Mainly cos when i am stoned i realise want an arrogant little twat he actually is. I admire him...admire is the wrong word, but it will suffice for now. He has found love and appears to be making it work for the long term, which is impressive enough. He is also an incredibly prolific reader, within a couple of fields. And this is the point i am trying to make.
That Barney is a man who will never step outside boundaries once they have been laid.
Look at his book collection.
Historical books (both fictional and non-fiction, you know what i mean)
Fantasy books (Sci-fi and Fantasy in its genre context such as LoTR)
Manga, manga doesnt really have genres just differently suited series.
That is it. Also the sci-fi stuff is Space Opera which is basically Fantasy with shiny bits.
It is all too...safe. It is like when you are book shopping and you go
'Hmm, that book looks bloody interesting. Or i could go number 2 of the series i have read'
And you go with Number 2, cos you know what to expect and you want to see how it progesses on.
This returning to Dunkeld has take its toll on me.
I can no longer stand the safe. The 'But its what we normally do'
I want to go and see the rest of this planet (only cos i cant see the rest of the universe) i want to go experience it.
Do fresh lychees really taste different? How do we communicate with people whose language we dont know, and they are the ones in the majority?
Questions i dont know, and i cannot find out by sitting around here. BTW i only picked lychees cos i cant think of another tropical fruit that we either dont grow here or is picked unripe, such as bananas.
I wonder how long this will last. Will it last me until i get out?
To be honest, i dont even care if i mostly stay around britain, i just want to see different places.
I dont want to feel like i owe anyone anything.
I want to be able to turn round to the guy sitting in my room covering his mouth to avoid the smell of cigarettes.
'That wont help, but leaving will' Yes that is rude, but so is being a passive aggressive fucktard.
I am pissed off at the people in the world, every single one of you is a petty little bastard. Me included. yet i know that they are the most amazing creations dreamable, capable of truly great deeds.
Damnit! why is it within my head when i come up with happy lil theories of how the universe should be. Ways that would make everyone happy, there is always this lil voice that shoots them down. That speaks to me of the bad qualities of humankind and tells me that we are fucked. and when i entertain the thoughts of that lil entity the other one chimes in about all the good ones.
It is like those pictures with the green and purple squares.
WILL I JUST DIE ALREADY!
Please.
I cant kill myself with willpower alone, and willpower alone does not control my mind.
Duty keeps kicking in.
I keep sensing that my mind is made up of all those shattered parts, and that everyone else seems to have these bits working together.
And that the bit of me that does the talking is just the bit that floats on top, and makes decisions based upon what it is handed by each of these shattered parts.
And half of these lil memoes contradict one another and thus i get nowhere.
Anyway i am off to bed to be angsty.