Goodbye to you
Check out the icon. Fits pretty well I'd say.
I told Sean to pick me or Amber. I basically said it wasn't fair to either me or her because we are giving our whole selves to him, and we both only get parts of him. Then I explained that I am more of a friend, more of a girlfriend to him then his own girlfriend is.
I wish things could go back to the way they used to be, when we were just good friends who seemed to be able to read eachothers minds. I wish I had never brought him to the party where he met Amber or I wish I hadn't left so early. But I'm not sure I would feel the way I do if I didn't. Which, I suppose in someways would be good. I can't let someone effect me like this. I'm sick of crying. I'm tired of the drama. I'm tired of never being completely happy when I'm around him and him feeling the same way./
In some ways I feel guilty for asking him to pick between us. But in other ways I think it's right. I feel like I'm being taken advantage of (granted not intentionally). I'm better than that.
I can't help but feel....i guess....sort of insulted that he wouldn't automatically pick me. But then I understand that he has alot on his plate involving Amber. I know he has to take time to think about it....but isn't the choice pretty easy? Aren't I good enough?
I mean, I inherited this trait from my dad which gets me in trouble. Giving all of myself to people. But in a way, as much as I have done it in the past and gotten screwed because of it, I feel that this is different. I truely have never felt about someone the way I feel about Sean.
I feel like I'm good enough. I'm not trying to toot my own horn here, but I've obviously proven that I'm a true and loyal friend. I feel that I am in a good place in my life and that I am a good person, that I am goal oriented, and that I have some redeeming quailities.
The way it is now is just tireing me out. I need a break. If he so chooses Amber, then I guess I'll bow out gracefully. And if he picks me, I guess my dream or whatever comes true. I just love him more than he'll ever know. I love the person that he is and the person I feel he will become. It even hurts sometimes.
Choose Me. Love Me. I promise it'll be worth it.
I told Sean to pick me or Amber. I basically said it wasn't fair to either me or her because we are giving our whole selves to him, and we both only get parts of him. Then I explained that I am more of a friend, more of a girlfriend to him then his own girlfriend is.
I wish things could go back to the way they used to be, when we were just good friends who seemed to be able to read eachothers minds. I wish I had never brought him to the party where he met Amber or I wish I hadn't left so early. But I'm not sure I would feel the way I do if I didn't. Which, I suppose in someways would be good. I can't let someone effect me like this. I'm sick of crying. I'm tired of the drama. I'm tired of never being completely happy when I'm around him and him feeling the same way./
In some ways I feel guilty for asking him to pick between us. But in other ways I think it's right. I feel like I'm being taken advantage of (granted not intentionally). I'm better than that.
I can't help but feel....i guess....sort of insulted that he wouldn't automatically pick me. But then I understand that he has alot on his plate involving Amber. I know he has to take time to think about it....but isn't the choice pretty easy? Aren't I good enough?
I mean, I inherited this trait from my dad which gets me in trouble. Giving all of myself to people. But in a way, as much as I have done it in the past and gotten screwed because of it, I feel that this is different. I truely have never felt about someone the way I feel about Sean.
I feel like I'm good enough. I'm not trying to toot my own horn here, but I've obviously proven that I'm a true and loyal friend. I feel that I am in a good place in my life and that I am a good person, that I am goal oriented, and that I have some redeeming quailities.
The way it is now is just tireing me out. I need a break. If he so chooses Amber, then I guess I'll bow out gracefully. And if he picks me, I guess my dream or whatever comes true. I just love him more than he'll ever know. I love the person that he is and the person I feel he will become. It even hurts sometimes.
Choose Me. Love Me. I promise it'll be worth it.