"X-Men Origins: Wolverine" review.
Yes, that's right. I know the movie isn't out for another month, but a workprint was leaked so I went Torrenting.
Meh.
The fanboys are going to rip this film to shreds. Hugh Jackman was his usual, excellent self. I liked what Liev Schrieber brings to the part of Victor Creed/Sabertooth. Also, Ryan Reynolds is good as Deadpool and, in a surprising turn, Will.i.am. from Black Eyed Peas is pretty darn decent as John Wraith/Kestrel.
The rest goes behind a cut, read at your own risk.
First off, this is one hell of a gang anal jail rape that they've done to force this piece of crap script into the Marvel universe. They've done a fairly accurate job with Wolverine's past history and his relationship with Victor Creed...faily accurate considering it's never really been told. They've moved his joining of Weapon X forward in time a bit I think (around Vietnam). Creed and Howlett join with Stryker and his team (again, they're pulling this outta their asses) which includes Wraith/Kestrel, Agent Zero/Maverick (who, despite his East German birth, is now somwhow Amerasian..-boggles-) Fred Dukes in pre-Blob Blobness, and Dom Monaghan's character (who while listed in the IMDB credits as 'Beak', most decidedly is not. I think he's supposed to be Bolt, given that he can generate and control electricity).. Oh, and Deadpool. This is the last we see of Deadpool until the end of the movie when, apparently, he's been used as the base for Weapon XI. Huh? Where'd they pull that from? No cancer, torture, healing, scarring, none of that,. just turn him into a glorified guinea pig. Surprised Renyolds signed on for such a crap part.
They make Creed's 'killing' of Silver Fox Logan's impetus to go through the Weapon X program. Weak. I suppose you can jam that plot point in there if you have to. That all goes south and so now Logan....all metaled up now like Magneto's wet dream...has to find Stryker's base to get his revenge. Wraith tells him to ask Blob, so he beats the info out of him and he and Wraith head to N'awlins to find one Remy LeBeau.
Ahh, Gambit, mon frer, the injustices that have been wreaked upon you in this movie. They more or less have the look right; that's pretty solid. His powers, again, fairly solid representation. Couple of nice scenes. I don't really like how they pretty much have Wolverine pwn him at will...yeah I know in a serious fight between the two Gambit's toast, but not to the easiness level they show here. But of course, the question that's been on fanboys' minds since this pic started filming was Gambit's accent.
WHAT ACCENT?????
Jesus jumpin' Christ, we couldn't have dubbed in -anyone- with a cajun accent for this? I mean seriously folks. I'm sincerely hoping that that's part of the effects that's still waiting to be finished on the workprint, but I highly doubt it.
And finally, the mystery of how Wolverine has lost his memory gets answered. Here we've thought all along it was part of the Weapon X experimentation or something suitably ominous like that. No, friends, nothing does a brain bad like the end of this film, when Stryker put a few adamantium bullets into Logan's head. Somehow, he manages to shoot him in -just- the right spot that his brain regenerates perfecltly fine -EXCEPT- for his long-term memories. Ooooh, who knew Col. Stryker was a Wild-west neurosurgeon!!
-sigh-
Overall I suppose the movie isn't too bad from a non-fanboy perspective. I think it's the complete and total antithesis to "Watchmen" though; it's a movie that takes liberties -cough cough RAPES- the source material, but it'll probably crush "Watchmen" at the box office due to the non-fanboy factor.