I Shut My Eyes and All the World Drops Dead - a gift for The Community!
Title: I Shut My Eyes and All the World Drops Dead
Author: arjd
Recipient: The Community
Pairing(s): Padma/Pansy, Pansy/Lily Luna, implied Pansy/OFC
Word Count: ~6300
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Infidelity, dubcon/noncon (both implied and explicit), implied torture, murder, blood
Summary: After twenty-five years on the job, Auror Pansy Parkinson deals with her most challenging case yet.
Author's Notes: The title is from "Mad Girl's Love Song" by Sylvia Plath.
They'd lived together for four years now, and Pansy knew Padma had her faults but it was a peaceful coexistence; they enjoyed one another's company and the sex was amazing. It wasn't the love affair of the century, but they were 45 - what was? They were happy, and they never spoke about love.
Pansy got out of bed, showered and dressed. While putting on her makeup, she wondered if Padma was home. Pansy had returned from yet another trip with work late last night, and Padma hadn't been in bed. She missed her, although their relationship was at best casual, and Pansy had been with someone else whilst away. Pansy had told Padma that since she was away with work so much, and for so long, there was no reason for them to go without. Padma agreed it made sense, but they never spoke about what happened when they were apart.
"Are you going to work already?" Padma asked. She was reading the Prophet at the breakfast table. They had an open kitchen/diner, with a separate door to the living room, and a hall through to the bedroom and bathroom, although they rarely used the living room, preferring when they were home to sit at either the kitchen table, or when the weather was good, on the balcony overlooking the park. Pansy had lost the argument about the decoration, and everything was done to Padma's simple tastes, but it was home, and she couldn't complain.
"Mm," said Pansy, rushing around throwing various items into her handbag: lipstick, hairbrush, perfume. "Got an early start. Weasley said we're starting a new case today."
"Coffee first?" asked Padma, indicating the cafetière.
"I'll get one at the office. After 25 years, I think I'm finally starting to get used to it."
Padma chuckled. "Alright. I'll see you tonight."
"Don't wait up."
"I never do."
* * *
"So what's the new case?" asked Pansy, setting her coffee on the table and flinging her handbag under her desk. Black and green: she still wore her House colour with pride.
"Wait 'til the others get here," said Weasley tersely.
"The others? You're bringing another team into this?"
"Yeah."
Pansy whistled through her teeth.
Weasley seemed restless; Pansy studied him as he paced up and down. He was no longer the enthusiastic youth she'd once been in love with for all of a month (she excused this by saying it had been her first month on the job, and there may have been an element of hero-worship; Weasley was a damn good Auror) but Pansy had always wondered if, in another life, she and him could have been good together.
Still, he was happily married, and had been for longer than she'd been his partner, and she was happy with Padma, and this wasn't another life after all.
The other two Aurors joined them after a few minutes. Creevey and Edgecombe were nearly as old and as senior as Pansy and Weasley, which was unusual. Four senior Aurors on a case - this had to be big.
"So," said Weasley. "There's a girl missing. Eighteen years old, name Rebecca Corner. It's been two days since anyone saw her. We all know her dad Michael. So let's not fuck about, okay? Edgecombe and Creevey, I want you two to liaise with the Muggle police on this one. They have, um, equipment that could help us. Cameras, and so on and so forth. I'm going to talk to Rebecca's parents and brother. Pansy, you go round the friends; there's four we’d like to speak to, so I'll get you the names and addresses in a few. Alright?"
Everyone nodded, sombre, and Pansy got another cup of coffee while she waited for the list.
The first three girls were not only unhelpful, but frightened Pansy in that they didn't seem to care. Their friend had been missing for forty-eight hours but they were shockingly blasé about the fact. No, they hadn't seen her. No, they didn't know where she was going last time they saw her. Probably off with another friend. Probably just forgot to come home. Probably drunk.
By the time Pansy got around to the last name on her list, she was weary of the whole thing. In her day, when someone went missing, it was a huge deal. Of course, it was a different time then, and the fear, which had dominated Pansy's teenage years, was largely gone from the world, but a friend disappearing was no small matter, even so. She didn't understand teenagers these days. Fuck, she felt old.
Pansy knocked on the door, and it opened to reveal Lily Luna Potter.
She leaned against the doorframe, red hair tumbling down over her breasts. Pansy knew from the file that she was 18, and much too young, but she couldn't help but find her attractive. Pansy had always thought Ginny Weasley was a looker in school, and Lily Luna had some of her features, but she also had bigger breasts, for one, and she was a little curvier. Ginny was too much of a Quidditch player to have had much of a figure, but Lily looked like she ate. Pansy found it very attractive.
"Can I help you?" Lily asked.
Pansy cleared her throat. "I need to speak to you about a Ministry matter regarding Rebecca Corner."
"Oh, right. You'd best come in." Now that Pansy looked closer, she could see the girl had been crying recently.
"Thanks."
Lily made Pansy a cup of tea; how polite she was, Pansy thought. Lily's flat was small, but cosy and warmly furnished. It was just big enough for one person.
"So, when did you last see Rebecca?"
Lily ran her hand through her hair. Her breasts pushed against her top. "Must have been a couple of days ago, maybe three."
"How did she seem? Did she mention she was going to meet anyone? Where she was going, that sort of thing?"
"Er… She seemed fine. She's really bubbly, Rebecca. A really fun girl. She didn't really say anything though, she just said she was going to meet a friend later, but I didn't think much of it."
"Did she say anything about who the friend was?"
"No, not that I remember. I'm sorry."
Pansy sighed. No real leads there, then.
"How about boyfriends, did she have any?"
Lily shook her head vehemently.
"Girlfriends?"
Lily smiled. "No, not at the moment."
Pansy smiled back. "She sounds great."
"She is."
"Lily, I'm sorry. I know this is hard. But we aren't ruling out foul play at the moment, and I'd like you to think if there's anyone who would have a grudge against Rebecca."
Lily Luna stared at her cup of tea, obviously thinking hard. After a minute or two, she shook her head. "Like I said, she's a great girl. There's not a bad bone in her body. She was a Prefect, for Merlin's sake."
Pansy nodded. "I didn't mean to upset you. Are you alright?"
Lily kept staring at her cup of tea, and then raised her head to look at Pansy. Her eyes were filled with tears.
"I just… it's not like her to go somewhere without telling anyone. I'm so scared for her. She's not… She doesn't have a clue, about how the world really is. I hate thinking of her being scared or in pain."
Pansy reached out and put a comforting hand on the girl's arm, feeling guilty that she found the sensation maddeningly erotic, despite the situation. "Lily… We will find her. I promise. We're doing everything we can."
Lily managed a watery smile. "Thanks, Auror Parkinson."
"Call me Pansy. If you ever need to reach me, if you think of any information about Rebecca, or you just need to talk, you can owl me, or Floo me at my office at the Ministry." She wrote down the Floo port number on a piece of parchment and pressed it into Lily's hand before leaving.
She waited until she was around the corner, out of sight of Lily's flat, before leaning against the wall and breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth. It was so fucking inappropriate to be attracted to someone who was not only nearly thirty years her junior, but a friend of the missing girl, and Harry Potter's daughter to boot. Pansy didn't even let herself think about Padma, not yet. They weren't exclusive, but that was when Pansy was away. Padma was at home, in their flat, waiting.
Merlin help her.
She met Weasley back at the office to catch up.
"Anything?" she asked.
He shook his head. He looked completely downtrodden.
"Ron," she said, and that made him look up. She'd only ever used his first name a handful of times.
"What?"
"We'll find her."
"What if we don't?"
"We will." She gripped his hand tightly, for just a second.
* * *
They put an appeal for information in the Prophet, and the next two days were spent sorting through the slew of tipoffs. It was a disheartening two days with dead end after dead end, and cup after cup of rancid coffee as they sorted through the hundreds of letters that came in. It wasn't even a job they could delegate; someone less experienced might disregard something important. The four Aurors barely spoke to one another, and Pansy was sure Weasley stayed through the night once.
In the end, it didn't matter, because they missed it anyway.
It was a report of noise disturbance from an old woman, and it had been dismissed as a bunch of loud kids in the house next door. The killer was long gone, of course.
Rebecca Corner was hanging by her wrists in the bedroom, strung up by chains attached to the ceiling. Her head was bowed, dark hair almost covering her naked breasts but not quite. She had blood all over her; it had run freely from her slit wrists down her arms, over her hair, and all down her body to pool and congeal on the floor. Pansy had seen pictures of her when she was alive; she had been beautiful. Not anymore.
And then Pansy saw it. She'd almost missed it under all the blood, but there was a sickle-shaped birthmark under Rebecca's left breast. Pansy remembered that birthmark.
"Fuck," she breathed.
Weasley looked askance at her. "You alright?"
"Yeah. Yeah. Do we know what happened here?"
"Looks like she was held for a few days, but not strung up the whole time, otherwise she wouldn't have bled out like that, and there's no evidence of repeated soiling on the floor around her. Obviously when she died… but apart from that nothing. We have to wait for the crime scene Aurors to do their stuff before we can cut her down and get a full autopsy." Weasley rubbed his hand over his face. "Blimey. I've seen some things in my time working this job, but that…. She went to school with my son and niece. Same year. Same classes. They talked about her sometimes."
Pansy didn't know what to say.
"You talked to Lily the other day, didn't you?" asked Weasley.
"Your niece? Yeah. Don't worry, I was nice. Gave her my card in case she needed to talk. I think she might need to when she hears."
Ron nodded.
"Let's get a coffee and talk things over," said Pansy. She had something she needed to tell him; if there was one thing she'd learned about being an Auror, it was to be fucking honest.
* * *
"I've seen her before," said Pansy when they'd had cups of coffee.
"What do you mean?" Weasley wasn't stupid. He knew Pansy didn't just mean she'd seen Rebecca around Diagon Alley.
"Remember that trip we went on to Bulgaria to check out that werewolf pack a couple of months ago? You stayed in your room all night, but I went out. I met this English witch at a bar; we ended up going back to my room. It was her. Rebecca Corner."
"Merlin, Parkinson. That is fucked up."
"So, are you gonna take me off the case? I didn't realise before. It was months ago and I was drunk; I thought the girl in Bulgaria was older, too."
Weasley looked like he was struggling with some inner conflict. Finally, he said, "Am I? Shite. You're the best Auror on this case, Parkinson. Just keep your involvement quiet. I assume Padma doesn't know."
"We don't speak about what happens while I'm away."
"Keep it that way. A one-night stand in another country months ago is hardly likely to be relevant to the case anyway - we'll keep it in mind, of course, but it's highly unlikely - and you're not a suspect because I trust you; you only just figured out the connection. We just need to figure out which sick bastard did this."
"Agreed. What are you thinking?"
Weasley rested his hands on his stomach. Pansy was always amazed at how trim he was; most men his age had grown a paunchy belly by now, but Weasley stayed fit.
"It's got to be a witch or wizard, because her wand was broken in half - a Muggle wouldn't know to do that and I doubt she'd have let one get near her or her wand. Everyone I've spoken to said how Rebecca excelled at Defence Against the Dark Arts; it had to be someone she knew, because if it wasn't she'd have Stunned them the minute things started looking suspicious."
Pansy nodded. "So at least that narrows the list of suspects down."
"Yeah," said Weasley heavily. "But that means that we probably know the culprit."
"Great," said Pansy sarcastically. "Fucking great. Do we know more about how she was killed?"
"Yeah, we just got the report an hour ago. She hadn't eaten in two days, but her captor gave her water. She was killed sometime yesterday evening, around seven o' clock. She was tied with her hands above her head, and then both of the arteries in each of her wrists were severed with a sharp blade. Before she was killed though, she was whipped and sexually abused."
"For fuck's sake," said Pansy. "I didn't think that this could get worse."
"We're not releasing any of these details to the public, obviously," said Weasley. "It's too disturbing, and with everything that happened after the war, we want to try and keep panic to a minimum."
"Is that the right move?" Pansy asked softly. "I know why you're doing it, but if the wizarding world find out we've kept things from them, there'll be an uproar. And what about her family?"
"They don't need to know about the abuse, Pans. It'll just hurt them more."
Pansy rested her head on the desk in front of her. "I hate this," she said.
"Me too." Weasley's hand on her shoulder was warm and comforting.
* * *
Pansy was expecting Padma to be in bed when she got home, but after Apparating outside the house she saw that the bedroom light was on. She was glad; it had been a long, hard few days and she needed the comfort of Padma's arms.
Ten minutes later, they were lying in bed together, Pansy's head on Padma's breasts. Padma stroked her hair soothingly.
"There's only so much I can say about the case," said Pansy. "But it's awful. The worst one I've worked. And I mean that."
"It's Rebecca Corner, isn't it?" asked Padma. "I saw it in the Prophet this afternoon. They didn't say how she'd died, just that foul play was suspected."
"Oh, it's more than suspected. Some fucker killed her, and we're going to hunt them down. It's a shame there aren't Dementors in Azkaban anymore."
"They'll get what they deserve, my darling."
"I hope so."
They didn't make love that night, but they slept tightly wrapped around one another. For the first time since they had started their relationship, Pansy was frightened that she was going to lose Padma.
* * *
Pansy had an owl from Lily Luna the next morning. She felt a stirring in her stomach, like the way she used to feel for Padma, the way she'd felt for others in the first months of a relationship when nothing is certain. The other person was a mystery and all she could do was hope beyond hope that the sound of her name on their lips made them tingle.
Auror Parkinson,
I need to talk to you.
Lily Luna Potter
Pansy wondered if Lily had a lead, or if she just needed to talk. Either way, she Apparated straight over to Lily's flat before going to the Ministry, after a quick owl to Weasley saying where she'd gone. It paid to be careful.
She took a breath and knocked on the door.
"Auror Parkinson," Lily said when she opened the door.
"Oh, Lily," said Pansy. She couldn't help herself. Lily's face was red and blotchy; her hair was thrown up into a pony tail and looked as though it hadn't been washed in a week. She looked terrible.
"I can't… I'm sorry," the girl said. "I don't know what to do."
"Come on," said Pansy. "I'll get you a cup of tea, and then we can talk."
Making tea in a virtual stranger's kitchen was not something Pansy did every day, but she managed to find everything in the end. Lily's kitchen was tiny; Pansy wasn't exactly overweight (twenty years of living on black coffee and the occasional take out wasn't a recipe for huge weight gain) but she could barely fit in it.
"There you go," she said, sitting down next to Lily and putting the cup on the table. "Are you alright?"
"Pansy, you said you'd find her."
Pansy felt like crying herself. "I am so sorry," she said. "I let you down. We just weren't quick enough to save her. We had no idea… nothing to go on. This guy is good. Would it help if I told you we are going to find him, and we are going to bring him to justice?"
"No," said Lily Luna. "No… I want to hurt him, Pansy."
"I do too," said Pansy.
"I kissed her once, you know."
Pansy didn't know what to say.
"We were drunk. No, that's a lie, she was drunk, and I was sober. I fancied her all through school and one night in the dorm in seventh year she got rat arsed and came on to me. So I kissed her back. We never talked about it after and I never apologised."
"You don't need to feel guilty, sweetheart. I never met her, but she didn't seem like the type of girl to hold a grudge."
"I just wish we'd spoken about it… There was so much stuff we said we were going to do together, and we never did…"
"Lily, you can't do this to yourself. The first murder case I worked on, we'd brought the guy in for questioning, for something else, the day before. And we let him go, and he fucking killed someone. I spent months dwelling on that. But you can't do it, you'll drive yourself mad."
Pansy was surprised by Lily grabbing hold of her and burying her face in her neck. Muffled, she said, "I'm trying… I'm trying."
Lily pulled back and wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry, Auror Parkinson."
"I've told you, call me Pansy. And this is what I'm here for, it's my job." She knew this was a lie; she shouldn't be making house calls and wasting time comforting pretty young girls when there was a killer to find, but she didn't want to leave. Lily was so alluring. "Are you keeping yourself busy? It'll be worse if you dwell on it."
"I… I think I'll be okay today. I'm going out for lunch with my brother, and maybe some shopping after. Albus loves to shop."
"Are you sure? Do you want me to stop by when I finish work?"
Lily smiled. "That would be a great help. It's the evenings that are the worst, you know? When it's too early to go to bed, but too late to really go out and do anything?"
"I'll be back at about 7:30," said Pansy. She was really just doing her duty as a good Auror, making sure her witnesses were alright. At least, that was how she justified it to herself.
* * *
It was another fruitless day at the Ministry. Weasley paced the room as Pansy trawled through witness reports and statements from the night of the murder.
Around lunchtime, she lost it with him. "Will you sit down? I can barely concentrate on reading with all the shuffling and grunting you're doing. For Merlin's sake, do something useful, Weasley! I know we're all in shock, but you're a fucking Auror. You need to get your shit together."
To her surprise, he listened to her. Running his hand over his face and then through his red hair, he sat down.
"I'm sorry," he said, and pulled a stack of parchment towards him. They worked for the rest of the afternoon and into the evening in almost complete silence, only speaking to ask if the other wanted a coffee, or to pass some more parchment over. At seven o' clock, Weasley grunted, "I'm going home," stood up, and left. Pansy felt utterly drained, but managed to organise the parchment and banish the coffee cups to the cafeteria before she did the same.
She didn't Apparate directly to Lily's flat, but went by the Thames instead. It was her favourite thing about London; leaning against the metal railing, feeling the breeze off the black water in her hair made her feel free, in direct counterpart to the way that the Ministry made her feel, or even the flat she shared with Padma. The Thames allowed her to be alone with her thoughts, without ever being truly alone, like a companion sitting in the same room, never speaking, but comforting with their presence alone.
She cast a discreet Tempus Charm, in case any Muggles were nearby. It was almost eight o' clock, and she was late for Lily Luna. She sighed. Half an hour, she promised herself, and no more. She really did have to spend some time with Padma, make up for her trip and all the hours she had worked lately.
It was with this intention that she knocked on Lily's door.
"Hi, Pansy. Come in," said the girl brightly. Pansy noticed that she looked much better; she had washed her hair, and once again it tumbled over her breasts, which, Pansy couldn't help but see, were on the verge of escaping from her top. Merlin, fuck, is she even wearing a bra?
"You look like you're feeling better," she said as she entered the flat. It looked like it had been cleaned, too, with none of the coffee cups or tissues that had been in abundance earlier. There was an open bottle of Firewhisky on the table, though, two-thirds full. "Have you been drinking?"
Lily giggled, and Pansy realised that she was drunk. She shouldn't have come. She should have Owled, said she couldn't make it. But it was too late now.
"Relax," said Lily, suddenly seeming more coherent. "I've had a few. Albus brought it over, said I'd feel better. And I do, so don't worry. I've had a lot more than this and still managed to walk in a straight line."
Pansy relaxed a little.
"Want a glass?" Lily tipped the bottle towards her.
"Sure. Have you any ice?" It had been a long day, and it was only one drink, after all. There was nothing wrong with having one drink.
Lily took the glass into the kitchen and rummaged in the freezer. "Yeah. On the rocks, then?"
"Please." Pansy heard the clink of ice on glass, and the glugging of Firewhisky, before Lily brought it back and handed it to her, taking a seat on the sofa next to her, cradling her own drink. "So, how was your lunch?"
"It was great. Albus is just in from San Francisco for the week - he works over there now, apparently he doesn't get stopped in the street as much as he does here, and he's got some sort of swanky apartment. He said I should go and visit him sometime, but I don't know. I like England. I don't want to fall in love with San Francisco and then have to come home, y'know?" Lily hugged her knees, and Pansy was reminded how young she really was.
"It might be different for you, but I've travelled all over the world and never fallen in love with anywhere as much as I love London."
"Not even Italy? I loved it when we went there. It was so sunny and beautiful. I tried to run away so I could live there. I was only fourteen."
Pansy snorted. "Merlin, no. Italians are so… pushy."
Lily smiled. "That's true." Pansy loved the way Lily's smile quirked up at one corner first, then spread across her whole face. She was so beautiful.
"So, how was work? Did you make any progress on the case?"
Pansy put her glass down on the coffee table. "You know I'm not supposed to talk about it, right?"
"I know. I'm sorry. I just… I want to help, somehow. I don't know."
Pansy put a hand on her arm again, feeling how soft her skin was. "I know. We haven't had any breakthroughs, yet. That's all I can tell you. I'm guessing your uncle won't tell you, either?"
Lily grimaced. "Nope. Nobody ever really sees him, anyway. He's always at work. Aunt Hermione is always ranting on about how he spends more time with you than her."
Pansy laughed; she couldn't help it. "It's probably true, but trust me, Lily, there is nothing to be jealous of. Most of the time we don't even speak, just make each other cups of coffee."
"That's sweet."
"Not really. The coffee's disgusting. It's more of a competition as to who can drink the most without complaining. I'm sure the cafeteria staff are in on it."
Lily laughed. They sat in companionable silence for a while then, sipping their drinks, before Pansy asked Lily about her days at Hogwarts. It seemed the only thing they really had in common. Pansy felt herself relaxing, and didn't protest when her glass was topped up. The alcohol was warm in her stomach and she needed a rest after the stress of the case. She tried to forget it was ongoing.
As her second drink slipped down her throat, Pansy slowly became aware that she was relaxed. Too relaxed; it wasn't natural, not for an Auror.
"Lily, what the fuck?" Pansy slurred. She'd had two glasses of Firewhisky but she felt as though she'd drunk the whole bottle. "What did you do?"
"I need comfort, Pansy," Lily said. "I need you."
"Why? Why do you need me?"
"Because you were there for me. You put your hand on my arm. And you let me hold you. I can feel it, Pansy. I could hear your heart beating faster when I was pressed close to you… When my breasts were pressed against yours. You want me, and I want you." Her hand kneaded Pansy's breast through her work blouse, and Pansy could feel her nipples stiffen.
"So why… What have you given me?"
"It's just something to make you want me more. I knew you wanted me, but I knew you wouldn't let yourself unless I helped you." Lily was on top of her; Pansy didn't know how that had happened, but Lily was kissing her neck and still touching her breast, and she smelled so good. It felt so good, and her big dark eyes were staring at Pansy as she worked her fingers lower toward the opening of Pansy's trousers. Pansy stared at those long fingers as they unbuttoned her trousers. Lily stood up so she could pull them off, and flung them onto the chair on the opposite side of the room. She pushed Pansy's legs apart as wide as they could go, and stared hungrily at Pansy's cunt.
Pansy propped herself up on her elbows; she felt like a spectator, like she wasn't even there, but watching from a distance. And she wanted Lily.
Lily buried her face in Pansy and all Pansy could do was try to remember to breathe; she licked first up her slit, then parted Pansy's folds with her tongue. Pansy could tell how wet she was already, and Lily's tongue was fast making her soaking. Then she felt fingers probing gently at her opening, and thrust towards them.
"Fuck, fuck," she grunted. Her speech was slurred, the world seemed to be spinning, and not just because of what Lily was doing. Fingers entered her skilfully; she wasn't sure how many, and Lily's tongue continued to work its magic. The sensation of the fingers slipping in and out of her, the tongue on her clit, the swirling of the room… It was all too much. She came apart, shaking and moaning.
She passed out as Lily's fingers left her.
* * *
When she awoke, light was coming in through the window. She was still lying on the sofa, naked from the waist down, although there was a blanket over her legs. She remembered, fuzzily, most that had happened the previous night. Lily. Lily's tongue. Lily's fingers.
"Good morning." Lily leaned against the doorframe leading to her bedroom, wearing a pair of tiny shorts and a tank top that covered almost nothing. Pansy stared at her, and Lily bit her lip, looking away.
"What the fuck did you do that for?" asked Pansy angrily. She clutched the blanket tighter around her nakedness, seated on the sofa. She felt as though she should be standing. She was an Auror, for fuck's sake. Where was her wand?
"I'm sorry… I was drunk. I wanted you… and I'd seen the way you looked at me but I know you have that woman that you live with and I knew you wouldn't. I was just giving us what we both wanted."
"Lily," said Pansy. "I did want you, but not like that. Never like that."
Lily hung her head, then looked back up at Pansy. Tears rolled down her cheeks. "I'm sorry. I thought it was a good idea."
"I'm leaving," Pansy said.
* * *
She Owled Padma from the Ministry; she was already late. It didn't escape Weasley's notice that she was in the same clothes as yesterday. She could tell from his face, but he didn't say anything.
They got a small break that day. Rebecca Corner had last been seen talking to someone on a street corner in Soho. Nobody knew why she had been there, but nevertheless there she had been and it was a lead. A team of Aurors was dispatched to the site immediately, Pansy included.
They looked around for an hour, but found nothing.
* * *
She received an owl from Lily Luna the next day, asking her to go over. Pansy was wary, as she should be. She wouldn't have gone, if it wasn't for the fact that Lily said she had uncovered some new information. Clearly, she had been sleuthing. Pansy shook her head as she gathered up some parchment from her desk and tossed it into the corner. Kids these days always thought themselves invincible. When she was Lily's age, she had feared for her life every day. But times had changed.
She Owled Padma, a quick note to tell her she had more work tonight, but would try to make it home. The reply said simply, "I miss you."
* * *
"I'll help you, Pansy," said Lily. "Aunt Hermione used some old map to make up a spell to find anyone, anywhere in the world. You just keep doing that, and if I'm not in my flat or at the corner of the street where Rebecca was taken, you can come and get me straight away."
"Lily, using yourself as bait is not a good idea."
"You'll come and get me straight away; I know you will. I'll help you catch whoever did this to Rebecca, I promise."
It was too good to resist. She could find the bastard, and maybe her wand would slip and she could do some damage before she called the other Aurors. It would be the capture of her career. Pansy sighed. "I'll be waiting, Lily Luna Potter. I'll come and find you."
"I love you, Pansy."
Pansy kissed Lily on the forehead and held her tightly for a moment. When she was away from Lily, all she could think of was what had been done to her, but when in Lily's presence, she couldn't help but forgive her. She hated herself for it.
"I'll see you soon."
She went home. Padma was out, as she often was, probably at Parvati's. Sometimes they were like ships passing in the night, with Pansy's long hours. Padma probably hadn't expected her home, despite the note, or perhaps had decided to spend the whole weekend there. It wasn't uncommon; Pansy's hours were so variable that they had long ago stopped waiting in for one another.
She had to think, for once. What she was doing with Lily, what she had done, was unforgivable. Padma wasn't the love of Pansy's life, but their relationship was solid, and just because the spark had faded somewhat in recent years it was no excuse. She couldn't tell Padma, it would hurt her too much. And the idea of starting anew with a girl who had effectively raped her, never mind being young enough to be her daughter, was ridiculous. Pansy should have arrested her, shouldn't even be considering it.
She sat down on the sofa, cup of coffee on the table in front of her, and cast the spell Lily had taught her every ten minutes or so. Lily was still at her flat, perhaps waiting until the time Rebecca had been taken, or perhaps getting ready. She didn't know.
Pansy waited.
* * *
She woke up. It was 3am.
"Fuck, fuck," she said, fumbling for her wand. "Invenio!"
Letters came curling out of her wand, forming an address in the air.
It wasn't Lily Luna's flat, and it wasn't the street corner. Pansy groaned aloud.
She Apparated to the outside of the address, a house set back from the street. It was just like the house where they'd found Rebecca Corner's body, and she knew where to look.
As she descended the basement stairs, she cursed herself for not Owling Weasley. But there hadn't been time; she had to save Lily.
The lights were on in the basement. Lily Luna Potter hung, naked, by the wrists from chains in the ceiling. There was no blood from her wrists, but Pansy didn't know if she was alive.
She ran to her.
"Lily, are you alright? Fuck, fuck, I have to get you out of here. I'm so sorry." Now that she was closer, she could tell Lily had been whipped. She fumbled with the chains around Lily's wrists.
"Pansy, please don't do that."
Pansy froze, and closed her eyes. Of course.
"Padma…"
"My darling, I got her for you."
"I don't understand." Pansy turned around. Padma stood there, her Padma, a conciliatory smile on her face.
"I love you. I always have, and I always will. I can't let these silly little girls take you away, darling. They need to pay for what they did to you. Before she passed out, little Lily Luna told me everything that happened between you. She raped you. She drugged you and I had to make her pay."
"And Rebecca Corner?"
"You were drunk; I know you didn't mean to. She said she didn't force you, but I know she lied. I could see it in her eyes. You have to know. I just wanted them to feel what you felt when they hurt you."
"Padma, please, not like this."
"I'm doing this for you."
"You know there are Aurors on their way right now, don't you?"
"You're lying. I know you are. I've known you for our whole lives, Pans. Do you think I can't tell when you lie? When you say you're working late, but you're with this little bitch? When you come home reeking of Firewhisky and say you've been with Weasley, but I can smell someone else's come on your hands and mouth?"
"I'm leaving, Padma."
"No, you're not. You're not because if you do, I'll kill this little slut. If you do, your fingerprints are here. You've been here. They'll know it was you, and your tart will be dead."
Pansy stared at her, and then looked over at Lily Luna, who had regained consciousness sometime while Padma was ranting.
"Pansy, please, help me!" she cried. There were fresh tears running down her face.
Padma grabbed Pansy by the waist and steered her towards Lily.
"If you do everything I tell you, I will let her live."
"Please," begged Lily.
"Padma, don't…" said Pansy.
Padma pressed the whip into Pansy's hand.
"Don't make me kill this one, too."
Pansy looked at Padma then Lily Luna crying and thrashing and twisting on the chains. She looked at the whip in her hand and towards the door, towards the stairs that would lead them to freedom. She closed her eyes.
"I love you," she said.
And then she turned, and brought the whip down.
Author: arjd
Recipient: The Community
Pairing(s): Padma/Pansy, Pansy/Lily Luna, implied Pansy/OFC
Word Count: ~6300
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Infidelity, dubcon/noncon (both implied and explicit), implied torture, murder, blood
Summary: After twenty-five years on the job, Auror Pansy Parkinson deals with her most challenging case yet.
Author's Notes: The title is from "Mad Girl's Love Song" by Sylvia Plath.
They'd lived together for four years now, and Pansy knew Padma had her faults but it was a peaceful coexistence; they enjoyed one another's company and the sex was amazing. It wasn't the love affair of the century, but they were 45 - what was? They were happy, and they never spoke about love.
Pansy got out of bed, showered and dressed. While putting on her makeup, she wondered if Padma was home. Pansy had returned from yet another trip with work late last night, and Padma hadn't been in bed. She missed her, although their relationship was at best casual, and Pansy had been with someone else whilst away. Pansy had told Padma that since she was away with work so much, and for so long, there was no reason for them to go without. Padma agreed it made sense, but they never spoke about what happened when they were apart.
"Are you going to work already?" Padma asked. She was reading the Prophet at the breakfast table. They had an open kitchen/diner, with a separate door to the living room, and a hall through to the bedroom and bathroom, although they rarely used the living room, preferring when they were home to sit at either the kitchen table, or when the weather was good, on the balcony overlooking the park. Pansy had lost the argument about the decoration, and everything was done to Padma's simple tastes, but it was home, and she couldn't complain.
"Mm," said Pansy, rushing around throwing various items into her handbag: lipstick, hairbrush, perfume. "Got an early start. Weasley said we're starting a new case today."
"Coffee first?" asked Padma, indicating the cafetière.
"I'll get one at the office. After 25 years, I think I'm finally starting to get used to it."
Padma chuckled. "Alright. I'll see you tonight."
"Don't wait up."
"I never do."
* * *
"So what's the new case?" asked Pansy, setting her coffee on the table and flinging her handbag under her desk. Black and green: she still wore her House colour with pride.
"Wait 'til the others get here," said Weasley tersely.
"The others? You're bringing another team into this?"
"Yeah."
Pansy whistled through her teeth.
Weasley seemed restless; Pansy studied him as he paced up and down. He was no longer the enthusiastic youth she'd once been in love with for all of a month (she excused this by saying it had been her first month on the job, and there may have been an element of hero-worship; Weasley was a damn good Auror) but Pansy had always wondered if, in another life, she and him could have been good together.
Still, he was happily married, and had been for longer than she'd been his partner, and she was happy with Padma, and this wasn't another life after all.
The other two Aurors joined them after a few minutes. Creevey and Edgecombe were nearly as old and as senior as Pansy and Weasley, which was unusual. Four senior Aurors on a case - this had to be big.
"So," said Weasley. "There's a girl missing. Eighteen years old, name Rebecca Corner. It's been two days since anyone saw her. We all know her dad Michael. So let's not fuck about, okay? Edgecombe and Creevey, I want you two to liaise with the Muggle police on this one. They have, um, equipment that could help us. Cameras, and so on and so forth. I'm going to talk to Rebecca's parents and brother. Pansy, you go round the friends; there's four we’d like to speak to, so I'll get you the names and addresses in a few. Alright?"
Everyone nodded, sombre, and Pansy got another cup of coffee while she waited for the list.
The first three girls were not only unhelpful, but frightened Pansy in that they didn't seem to care. Their friend had been missing for forty-eight hours but they were shockingly blasé about the fact. No, they hadn't seen her. No, they didn't know where she was going last time they saw her. Probably off with another friend. Probably just forgot to come home. Probably drunk.
By the time Pansy got around to the last name on her list, she was weary of the whole thing. In her day, when someone went missing, it was a huge deal. Of course, it was a different time then, and the fear, which had dominated Pansy's teenage years, was largely gone from the world, but a friend disappearing was no small matter, even so. She didn't understand teenagers these days. Fuck, she felt old.
Pansy knocked on the door, and it opened to reveal Lily Luna Potter.
She leaned against the doorframe, red hair tumbling down over her breasts. Pansy knew from the file that she was 18, and much too young, but she couldn't help but find her attractive. Pansy had always thought Ginny Weasley was a looker in school, and Lily Luna had some of her features, but she also had bigger breasts, for one, and she was a little curvier. Ginny was too much of a Quidditch player to have had much of a figure, but Lily looked like she ate. Pansy found it very attractive.
"Can I help you?" Lily asked.
Pansy cleared her throat. "I need to speak to you about a Ministry matter regarding Rebecca Corner."
"Oh, right. You'd best come in." Now that Pansy looked closer, she could see the girl had been crying recently.
"Thanks."
Lily made Pansy a cup of tea; how polite she was, Pansy thought. Lily's flat was small, but cosy and warmly furnished. It was just big enough for one person.
"So, when did you last see Rebecca?"
Lily ran her hand through her hair. Her breasts pushed against her top. "Must have been a couple of days ago, maybe three."
"How did she seem? Did she mention she was going to meet anyone? Where she was going, that sort of thing?"
"Er… She seemed fine. She's really bubbly, Rebecca. A really fun girl. She didn't really say anything though, she just said she was going to meet a friend later, but I didn't think much of it."
"Did she say anything about who the friend was?"
"No, not that I remember. I'm sorry."
Pansy sighed. No real leads there, then.
"How about boyfriends, did she have any?"
Lily shook her head vehemently.
"Girlfriends?"
Lily smiled. "No, not at the moment."
Pansy smiled back. "She sounds great."
"She is."
"Lily, I'm sorry. I know this is hard. But we aren't ruling out foul play at the moment, and I'd like you to think if there's anyone who would have a grudge against Rebecca."
Lily Luna stared at her cup of tea, obviously thinking hard. After a minute or two, she shook her head. "Like I said, she's a great girl. There's not a bad bone in her body. She was a Prefect, for Merlin's sake."
Pansy nodded. "I didn't mean to upset you. Are you alright?"
Lily kept staring at her cup of tea, and then raised her head to look at Pansy. Her eyes were filled with tears.
"I just… it's not like her to go somewhere without telling anyone. I'm so scared for her. She's not… She doesn't have a clue, about how the world really is. I hate thinking of her being scared or in pain."
Pansy reached out and put a comforting hand on the girl's arm, feeling guilty that she found the sensation maddeningly erotic, despite the situation. "Lily… We will find her. I promise. We're doing everything we can."
Lily managed a watery smile. "Thanks, Auror Parkinson."
"Call me Pansy. If you ever need to reach me, if you think of any information about Rebecca, or you just need to talk, you can owl me, or Floo me at my office at the Ministry." She wrote down the Floo port number on a piece of parchment and pressed it into Lily's hand before leaving.
She waited until she was around the corner, out of sight of Lily's flat, before leaning against the wall and breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth. It was so fucking inappropriate to be attracted to someone who was not only nearly thirty years her junior, but a friend of the missing girl, and Harry Potter's daughter to boot. Pansy didn't even let herself think about Padma, not yet. They weren't exclusive, but that was when Pansy was away. Padma was at home, in their flat, waiting.
Merlin help her.
She met Weasley back at the office to catch up.
"Anything?" she asked.
He shook his head. He looked completely downtrodden.
"Ron," she said, and that made him look up. She'd only ever used his first name a handful of times.
"What?"
"We'll find her."
"What if we don't?"
"We will." She gripped his hand tightly, for just a second.
* * *
They put an appeal for information in the Prophet, and the next two days were spent sorting through the slew of tipoffs. It was a disheartening two days with dead end after dead end, and cup after cup of rancid coffee as they sorted through the hundreds of letters that came in. It wasn't even a job they could delegate; someone less experienced might disregard something important. The four Aurors barely spoke to one another, and Pansy was sure Weasley stayed through the night once.
In the end, it didn't matter, because they missed it anyway.
It was a report of noise disturbance from an old woman, and it had been dismissed as a bunch of loud kids in the house next door. The killer was long gone, of course.
Rebecca Corner was hanging by her wrists in the bedroom, strung up by chains attached to the ceiling. Her head was bowed, dark hair almost covering her naked breasts but not quite. She had blood all over her; it had run freely from her slit wrists down her arms, over her hair, and all down her body to pool and congeal on the floor. Pansy had seen pictures of her when she was alive; she had been beautiful. Not anymore.
And then Pansy saw it. She'd almost missed it under all the blood, but there was a sickle-shaped birthmark under Rebecca's left breast. Pansy remembered that birthmark.
"Fuck," she breathed.
Weasley looked askance at her. "You alright?"
"Yeah. Yeah. Do we know what happened here?"
"Looks like she was held for a few days, but not strung up the whole time, otherwise she wouldn't have bled out like that, and there's no evidence of repeated soiling on the floor around her. Obviously when she died… but apart from that nothing. We have to wait for the crime scene Aurors to do their stuff before we can cut her down and get a full autopsy." Weasley rubbed his hand over his face. "Blimey. I've seen some things in my time working this job, but that…. She went to school with my son and niece. Same year. Same classes. They talked about her sometimes."
Pansy didn't know what to say.
"You talked to Lily the other day, didn't you?" asked Weasley.
"Your niece? Yeah. Don't worry, I was nice. Gave her my card in case she needed to talk. I think she might need to when she hears."
Ron nodded.
"Let's get a coffee and talk things over," said Pansy. She had something she needed to tell him; if there was one thing she'd learned about being an Auror, it was to be fucking honest.
* * *
"I've seen her before," said Pansy when they'd had cups of coffee.
"What do you mean?" Weasley wasn't stupid. He knew Pansy didn't just mean she'd seen Rebecca around Diagon Alley.
"Remember that trip we went on to Bulgaria to check out that werewolf pack a couple of months ago? You stayed in your room all night, but I went out. I met this English witch at a bar; we ended up going back to my room. It was her. Rebecca Corner."
"Merlin, Parkinson. That is fucked up."
"So, are you gonna take me off the case? I didn't realise before. It was months ago and I was drunk; I thought the girl in Bulgaria was older, too."
Weasley looked like he was struggling with some inner conflict. Finally, he said, "Am I? Shite. You're the best Auror on this case, Parkinson. Just keep your involvement quiet. I assume Padma doesn't know."
"We don't speak about what happens while I'm away."
"Keep it that way. A one-night stand in another country months ago is hardly likely to be relevant to the case anyway - we'll keep it in mind, of course, but it's highly unlikely - and you're not a suspect because I trust you; you only just figured out the connection. We just need to figure out which sick bastard did this."
"Agreed. What are you thinking?"
Weasley rested his hands on his stomach. Pansy was always amazed at how trim he was; most men his age had grown a paunchy belly by now, but Weasley stayed fit.
"It's got to be a witch or wizard, because her wand was broken in half - a Muggle wouldn't know to do that and I doubt she'd have let one get near her or her wand. Everyone I've spoken to said how Rebecca excelled at Defence Against the Dark Arts; it had to be someone she knew, because if it wasn't she'd have Stunned them the minute things started looking suspicious."
Pansy nodded. "So at least that narrows the list of suspects down."
"Yeah," said Weasley heavily. "But that means that we probably know the culprit."
"Great," said Pansy sarcastically. "Fucking great. Do we know more about how she was killed?"
"Yeah, we just got the report an hour ago. She hadn't eaten in two days, but her captor gave her water. She was killed sometime yesterday evening, around seven o' clock. She was tied with her hands above her head, and then both of the arteries in each of her wrists were severed with a sharp blade. Before she was killed though, she was whipped and sexually abused."
"For fuck's sake," said Pansy. "I didn't think that this could get worse."
"We're not releasing any of these details to the public, obviously," said Weasley. "It's too disturbing, and with everything that happened after the war, we want to try and keep panic to a minimum."
"Is that the right move?" Pansy asked softly. "I know why you're doing it, but if the wizarding world find out we've kept things from them, there'll be an uproar. And what about her family?"
"They don't need to know about the abuse, Pans. It'll just hurt them more."
Pansy rested her head on the desk in front of her. "I hate this," she said.
"Me too." Weasley's hand on her shoulder was warm and comforting.
* * *
Pansy was expecting Padma to be in bed when she got home, but after Apparating outside the house she saw that the bedroom light was on. She was glad; it had been a long, hard few days and she needed the comfort of Padma's arms.
Ten minutes later, they were lying in bed together, Pansy's head on Padma's breasts. Padma stroked her hair soothingly.
"There's only so much I can say about the case," said Pansy. "But it's awful. The worst one I've worked. And I mean that."
"It's Rebecca Corner, isn't it?" asked Padma. "I saw it in the Prophet this afternoon. They didn't say how she'd died, just that foul play was suspected."
"Oh, it's more than suspected. Some fucker killed her, and we're going to hunt them down. It's a shame there aren't Dementors in Azkaban anymore."
"They'll get what they deserve, my darling."
"I hope so."
They didn't make love that night, but they slept tightly wrapped around one another. For the first time since they had started their relationship, Pansy was frightened that she was going to lose Padma.
* * *
Pansy had an owl from Lily Luna the next morning. She felt a stirring in her stomach, like the way she used to feel for Padma, the way she'd felt for others in the first months of a relationship when nothing is certain. The other person was a mystery and all she could do was hope beyond hope that the sound of her name on their lips made them tingle.
Auror Parkinson,
I need to talk to you.
Lily Luna Potter
Pansy wondered if Lily had a lead, or if she just needed to talk. Either way, she Apparated straight over to Lily's flat before going to the Ministry, after a quick owl to Weasley saying where she'd gone. It paid to be careful.
She took a breath and knocked on the door.
"Auror Parkinson," Lily said when she opened the door.
"Oh, Lily," said Pansy. She couldn't help herself. Lily's face was red and blotchy; her hair was thrown up into a pony tail and looked as though it hadn't been washed in a week. She looked terrible.
"I can't… I'm sorry," the girl said. "I don't know what to do."
"Come on," said Pansy. "I'll get you a cup of tea, and then we can talk."
Making tea in a virtual stranger's kitchen was not something Pansy did every day, but she managed to find everything in the end. Lily's kitchen was tiny; Pansy wasn't exactly overweight (twenty years of living on black coffee and the occasional take out wasn't a recipe for huge weight gain) but she could barely fit in it.
"There you go," she said, sitting down next to Lily and putting the cup on the table. "Are you alright?"
"Pansy, you said you'd find her."
Pansy felt like crying herself. "I am so sorry," she said. "I let you down. We just weren't quick enough to save her. We had no idea… nothing to go on. This guy is good. Would it help if I told you we are going to find him, and we are going to bring him to justice?"
"No," said Lily Luna. "No… I want to hurt him, Pansy."
"I do too," said Pansy.
"I kissed her once, you know."
Pansy didn't know what to say.
"We were drunk. No, that's a lie, she was drunk, and I was sober. I fancied her all through school and one night in the dorm in seventh year she got rat arsed and came on to me. So I kissed her back. We never talked about it after and I never apologised."
"You don't need to feel guilty, sweetheart. I never met her, but she didn't seem like the type of girl to hold a grudge."
"I just wish we'd spoken about it… There was so much stuff we said we were going to do together, and we never did…"
"Lily, you can't do this to yourself. The first murder case I worked on, we'd brought the guy in for questioning, for something else, the day before. And we let him go, and he fucking killed someone. I spent months dwelling on that. But you can't do it, you'll drive yourself mad."
Pansy was surprised by Lily grabbing hold of her and burying her face in her neck. Muffled, she said, "I'm trying… I'm trying."
Lily pulled back and wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry, Auror Parkinson."
"I've told you, call me Pansy. And this is what I'm here for, it's my job." She knew this was a lie; she shouldn't be making house calls and wasting time comforting pretty young girls when there was a killer to find, but she didn't want to leave. Lily was so alluring. "Are you keeping yourself busy? It'll be worse if you dwell on it."
"I… I think I'll be okay today. I'm going out for lunch with my brother, and maybe some shopping after. Albus loves to shop."
"Are you sure? Do you want me to stop by when I finish work?"
Lily smiled. "That would be a great help. It's the evenings that are the worst, you know? When it's too early to go to bed, but too late to really go out and do anything?"
"I'll be back at about 7:30," said Pansy. She was really just doing her duty as a good Auror, making sure her witnesses were alright. At least, that was how she justified it to herself.
* * *
It was another fruitless day at the Ministry. Weasley paced the room as Pansy trawled through witness reports and statements from the night of the murder.
Around lunchtime, she lost it with him. "Will you sit down? I can barely concentrate on reading with all the shuffling and grunting you're doing. For Merlin's sake, do something useful, Weasley! I know we're all in shock, but you're a fucking Auror. You need to get your shit together."
To her surprise, he listened to her. Running his hand over his face and then through his red hair, he sat down.
"I'm sorry," he said, and pulled a stack of parchment towards him. They worked for the rest of the afternoon and into the evening in almost complete silence, only speaking to ask if the other wanted a coffee, or to pass some more parchment over. At seven o' clock, Weasley grunted, "I'm going home," stood up, and left. Pansy felt utterly drained, but managed to organise the parchment and banish the coffee cups to the cafeteria before she did the same.
She didn't Apparate directly to Lily's flat, but went by the Thames instead. It was her favourite thing about London; leaning against the metal railing, feeling the breeze off the black water in her hair made her feel free, in direct counterpart to the way that the Ministry made her feel, or even the flat she shared with Padma. The Thames allowed her to be alone with her thoughts, without ever being truly alone, like a companion sitting in the same room, never speaking, but comforting with their presence alone.
She cast a discreet Tempus Charm, in case any Muggles were nearby. It was almost eight o' clock, and she was late for Lily Luna. She sighed. Half an hour, she promised herself, and no more. She really did have to spend some time with Padma, make up for her trip and all the hours she had worked lately.
It was with this intention that she knocked on Lily's door.
"Hi, Pansy. Come in," said the girl brightly. Pansy noticed that she looked much better; she had washed her hair, and once again it tumbled over her breasts, which, Pansy couldn't help but see, were on the verge of escaping from her top. Merlin, fuck, is she even wearing a bra?
"You look like you're feeling better," she said as she entered the flat. It looked like it had been cleaned, too, with none of the coffee cups or tissues that had been in abundance earlier. There was an open bottle of Firewhisky on the table, though, two-thirds full. "Have you been drinking?"
Lily giggled, and Pansy realised that she was drunk. She shouldn't have come. She should have Owled, said she couldn't make it. But it was too late now.
"Relax," said Lily, suddenly seeming more coherent. "I've had a few. Albus brought it over, said I'd feel better. And I do, so don't worry. I've had a lot more than this and still managed to walk in a straight line."
Pansy relaxed a little.
"Want a glass?" Lily tipped the bottle towards her.
"Sure. Have you any ice?" It had been a long day, and it was only one drink, after all. There was nothing wrong with having one drink.
Lily took the glass into the kitchen and rummaged in the freezer. "Yeah. On the rocks, then?"
"Please." Pansy heard the clink of ice on glass, and the glugging of Firewhisky, before Lily brought it back and handed it to her, taking a seat on the sofa next to her, cradling her own drink. "So, how was your lunch?"
"It was great. Albus is just in from San Francisco for the week - he works over there now, apparently he doesn't get stopped in the street as much as he does here, and he's got some sort of swanky apartment. He said I should go and visit him sometime, but I don't know. I like England. I don't want to fall in love with San Francisco and then have to come home, y'know?" Lily hugged her knees, and Pansy was reminded how young she really was.
"It might be different for you, but I've travelled all over the world and never fallen in love with anywhere as much as I love London."
"Not even Italy? I loved it when we went there. It was so sunny and beautiful. I tried to run away so I could live there. I was only fourteen."
Pansy snorted. "Merlin, no. Italians are so… pushy."
Lily smiled. "That's true." Pansy loved the way Lily's smile quirked up at one corner first, then spread across her whole face. She was so beautiful.
"So, how was work? Did you make any progress on the case?"
Pansy put her glass down on the coffee table. "You know I'm not supposed to talk about it, right?"
"I know. I'm sorry. I just… I want to help, somehow. I don't know."
Pansy put a hand on her arm again, feeling how soft her skin was. "I know. We haven't had any breakthroughs, yet. That's all I can tell you. I'm guessing your uncle won't tell you, either?"
Lily grimaced. "Nope. Nobody ever really sees him, anyway. He's always at work. Aunt Hermione is always ranting on about how he spends more time with you than her."
Pansy laughed; she couldn't help it. "It's probably true, but trust me, Lily, there is nothing to be jealous of. Most of the time we don't even speak, just make each other cups of coffee."
"That's sweet."
"Not really. The coffee's disgusting. It's more of a competition as to who can drink the most without complaining. I'm sure the cafeteria staff are in on it."
Lily laughed. They sat in companionable silence for a while then, sipping their drinks, before Pansy asked Lily about her days at Hogwarts. It seemed the only thing they really had in common. Pansy felt herself relaxing, and didn't protest when her glass was topped up. The alcohol was warm in her stomach and she needed a rest after the stress of the case. She tried to forget it was ongoing.
As her second drink slipped down her throat, Pansy slowly became aware that she was relaxed. Too relaxed; it wasn't natural, not for an Auror.
"Lily, what the fuck?" Pansy slurred. She'd had two glasses of Firewhisky but she felt as though she'd drunk the whole bottle. "What did you do?"
"I need comfort, Pansy," Lily said. "I need you."
"Why? Why do you need me?"
"Because you were there for me. You put your hand on my arm. And you let me hold you. I can feel it, Pansy. I could hear your heart beating faster when I was pressed close to you… When my breasts were pressed against yours. You want me, and I want you." Her hand kneaded Pansy's breast through her work blouse, and Pansy could feel her nipples stiffen.
"So why… What have you given me?"
"It's just something to make you want me more. I knew you wanted me, but I knew you wouldn't let yourself unless I helped you." Lily was on top of her; Pansy didn't know how that had happened, but Lily was kissing her neck and still touching her breast, and she smelled so good. It felt so good, and her big dark eyes were staring at Pansy as she worked her fingers lower toward the opening of Pansy's trousers. Pansy stared at those long fingers as they unbuttoned her trousers. Lily stood up so she could pull them off, and flung them onto the chair on the opposite side of the room. She pushed Pansy's legs apart as wide as they could go, and stared hungrily at Pansy's cunt.
Pansy propped herself up on her elbows; she felt like a spectator, like she wasn't even there, but watching from a distance. And she wanted Lily.
Lily buried her face in Pansy and all Pansy could do was try to remember to breathe; she licked first up her slit, then parted Pansy's folds with her tongue. Pansy could tell how wet she was already, and Lily's tongue was fast making her soaking. Then she felt fingers probing gently at her opening, and thrust towards them.
"Fuck, fuck," she grunted. Her speech was slurred, the world seemed to be spinning, and not just because of what Lily was doing. Fingers entered her skilfully; she wasn't sure how many, and Lily's tongue continued to work its magic. The sensation of the fingers slipping in and out of her, the tongue on her clit, the swirling of the room… It was all too much. She came apart, shaking and moaning.
She passed out as Lily's fingers left her.
* * *
When she awoke, light was coming in through the window. She was still lying on the sofa, naked from the waist down, although there was a blanket over her legs. She remembered, fuzzily, most that had happened the previous night. Lily. Lily's tongue. Lily's fingers.
"Good morning." Lily leaned against the doorframe leading to her bedroom, wearing a pair of tiny shorts and a tank top that covered almost nothing. Pansy stared at her, and Lily bit her lip, looking away.
"What the fuck did you do that for?" asked Pansy angrily. She clutched the blanket tighter around her nakedness, seated on the sofa. She felt as though she should be standing. She was an Auror, for fuck's sake. Where was her wand?
"I'm sorry… I was drunk. I wanted you… and I'd seen the way you looked at me but I know you have that woman that you live with and I knew you wouldn't. I was just giving us what we both wanted."
"Lily," said Pansy. "I did want you, but not like that. Never like that."
Lily hung her head, then looked back up at Pansy. Tears rolled down her cheeks. "I'm sorry. I thought it was a good idea."
"I'm leaving," Pansy said.
* * *
She Owled Padma from the Ministry; she was already late. It didn't escape Weasley's notice that she was in the same clothes as yesterday. She could tell from his face, but he didn't say anything.
They got a small break that day. Rebecca Corner had last been seen talking to someone on a street corner in Soho. Nobody knew why she had been there, but nevertheless there she had been and it was a lead. A team of Aurors was dispatched to the site immediately, Pansy included.
They looked around for an hour, but found nothing.
* * *
She received an owl from Lily Luna the next day, asking her to go over. Pansy was wary, as she should be. She wouldn't have gone, if it wasn't for the fact that Lily said she had uncovered some new information. Clearly, she had been sleuthing. Pansy shook her head as she gathered up some parchment from her desk and tossed it into the corner. Kids these days always thought themselves invincible. When she was Lily's age, she had feared for her life every day. But times had changed.
She Owled Padma, a quick note to tell her she had more work tonight, but would try to make it home. The reply said simply, "I miss you."
* * *
"I'll help you, Pansy," said Lily. "Aunt Hermione used some old map to make up a spell to find anyone, anywhere in the world. You just keep doing that, and if I'm not in my flat or at the corner of the street where Rebecca was taken, you can come and get me straight away."
"Lily, using yourself as bait is not a good idea."
"You'll come and get me straight away; I know you will. I'll help you catch whoever did this to Rebecca, I promise."
It was too good to resist. She could find the bastard, and maybe her wand would slip and she could do some damage before she called the other Aurors. It would be the capture of her career. Pansy sighed. "I'll be waiting, Lily Luna Potter. I'll come and find you."
"I love you, Pansy."
Pansy kissed Lily on the forehead and held her tightly for a moment. When she was away from Lily, all she could think of was what had been done to her, but when in Lily's presence, she couldn't help but forgive her. She hated herself for it.
"I'll see you soon."
She went home. Padma was out, as she often was, probably at Parvati's. Sometimes they were like ships passing in the night, with Pansy's long hours. Padma probably hadn't expected her home, despite the note, or perhaps had decided to spend the whole weekend there. It wasn't uncommon; Pansy's hours were so variable that they had long ago stopped waiting in for one another.
She had to think, for once. What she was doing with Lily, what she had done, was unforgivable. Padma wasn't the love of Pansy's life, but their relationship was solid, and just because the spark had faded somewhat in recent years it was no excuse. She couldn't tell Padma, it would hurt her too much. And the idea of starting anew with a girl who had effectively raped her, never mind being young enough to be her daughter, was ridiculous. Pansy should have arrested her, shouldn't even be considering it.
She sat down on the sofa, cup of coffee on the table in front of her, and cast the spell Lily had taught her every ten minutes or so. Lily was still at her flat, perhaps waiting until the time Rebecca had been taken, or perhaps getting ready. She didn't know.
Pansy waited.
* * *
She woke up. It was 3am.
"Fuck, fuck," she said, fumbling for her wand. "Invenio!"
Letters came curling out of her wand, forming an address in the air.
It wasn't Lily Luna's flat, and it wasn't the street corner. Pansy groaned aloud.
She Apparated to the outside of the address, a house set back from the street. It was just like the house where they'd found Rebecca Corner's body, and she knew where to look.
As she descended the basement stairs, she cursed herself for not Owling Weasley. But there hadn't been time; she had to save Lily.
The lights were on in the basement. Lily Luna Potter hung, naked, by the wrists from chains in the ceiling. There was no blood from her wrists, but Pansy didn't know if she was alive.
She ran to her.
"Lily, are you alright? Fuck, fuck, I have to get you out of here. I'm so sorry." Now that she was closer, she could tell Lily had been whipped. She fumbled with the chains around Lily's wrists.
"Pansy, please don't do that."
Pansy froze, and closed her eyes. Of course.
"Padma…"
"My darling, I got her for you."
"I don't understand." Pansy turned around. Padma stood there, her Padma, a conciliatory smile on her face.
"I love you. I always have, and I always will. I can't let these silly little girls take you away, darling. They need to pay for what they did to you. Before she passed out, little Lily Luna told me everything that happened between you. She raped you. She drugged you and I had to make her pay."
"And Rebecca Corner?"
"You were drunk; I know you didn't mean to. She said she didn't force you, but I know she lied. I could see it in her eyes. You have to know. I just wanted them to feel what you felt when they hurt you."
"Padma, please, not like this."
"I'm doing this for you."
"You know there are Aurors on their way right now, don't you?"
"You're lying. I know you are. I've known you for our whole lives, Pans. Do you think I can't tell when you lie? When you say you're working late, but you're with this little bitch? When you come home reeking of Firewhisky and say you've been with Weasley, but I can smell someone else's come on your hands and mouth?"
"I'm leaving, Padma."
"No, you're not. You're not because if you do, I'll kill this little slut. If you do, your fingerprints are here. You've been here. They'll know it was you, and your tart will be dead."
Pansy stared at her, and then looked over at Lily Luna, who had regained consciousness sometime while Padma was ranting.
"Pansy, please, help me!" she cried. There were fresh tears running down her face.
Padma grabbed Pansy by the waist and steered her towards Lily.
"If you do everything I tell you, I will let her live."
"Please," begged Lily.
"Padma, don't…" said Pansy.
Padma pressed the whip into Pansy's hand.
"Don't make me kill this one, too."
Pansy looked at Padma then Lily Luna crying and thrashing and twisting on the chains. She looked at the whip in her hand and towards the door, towards the stairs that would lead them to freedom. She closed her eyes.
"I love you," she said.
And then she turned, and brought the whip down.