Mostly I feel sorry for my car
The llama tells me that the condition of your room is a reflection of your mind. I thought it was a fine idea so I tried to take it a step further. Maybe the idea would work as two way street. I figured that if I cleaned up my room, my bathroom, my kitchen, my car I could stop shooting down this spiral of chaos. Well long story short I did a bit of cleaning and for a day or even two the rooms were clean. (At least as clean as I could make myself care to make them) Did it clear up my mind? Nope. Life still in shambles. Although every aspect of it is in equal chaos so I got that going for me.
But like I said mostly I feel bad for my car. While the condition of your room may indeed give some insight into your mind I think the condition of your car does too. Every time I go some where, once I get there I don't take the garbage out like I usually do. I don't get the clothes out of the back or anything like that. I thought about it today when I got home and left every thing right in the front seat. It's like I expect things to feel different when I get inside. Like suddenly I'll care about something and actually want to do something even if it's just getting some joy out of screwing around with magic cards or something. But then I get inside or where it is that I'm going and there's nothing. That usual blank disconnected feeling that won't go away is still there and just as strong as it's been for a while. Maybe next time I'll start by cleaning my car first. You think that'd work better?
But like I said mostly I feel bad for my car. While the condition of your room may indeed give some insight into your mind I think the condition of your car does too. Every time I go some where, once I get there I don't take the garbage out like I usually do. I don't get the clothes out of the back or anything like that. I thought about it today when I got home and left every thing right in the front seat. It's like I expect things to feel different when I get inside. Like suddenly I'll care about something and actually want to do something even if it's just getting some joy out of screwing around with magic cards or something. But then I get inside or where it is that I'm going and there's nothing. That usual blank disconnected feeling that won't go away is still there and just as strong as it's been for a while. Maybe next time I'll start by cleaning my car first. You think that'd work better?