last night
like i mentioned...i went on a date...and ended up having sex, but not with the person i went on the date with...
details within
so last night was my only night off this week, and i had a thousand and one things to take care of, so i just went out with a list to make my rounds...i went over to dad's because he wanted to see me (david, not my biological father, but my emotional dad) anyway, he hurt his back and was unable to take me to the casino like he wanted, so we postponed it till my next night off...
then, i go and meet my date at the restaurant he picked....
now, i -could- go into details about what he did that was eight shades of wrong and disrespectful to me, but if i did, i know about three or four people reading this would freak out and insist on coming to tampa to carve this fuck a new asshole (and yes, i'm glancing in your general direction, Goddess) so rather than go into all that, let's skip to the part where i excused myself to go to the ladies room and about 5 miles and ten minutes later, i text him letting him know that i left money for the food i ordered but did not eat with the waitress and that "this is precisely why i insisted on taking my own car..have a nice life"
it was still early yet, so i decided to give one of my best friends, greg a call and when he answered, i said "throw your glad rags on, kid, we're going out to _______" (the punk bar my girl shannon works at and that musician jim plays gigs at)..
so i go pick up greg, and tell him what this ass-clown said and did on our "date" and greg was LIVID...but i told him to relax and shake it off, and we went off to the pub...we had a pint and sat down to listen to the music, amd this dude out of nowhere comes up and kisses my hand...and walks away..so we just laughed, assuming he was just some drunk guy...but then he came up and did it again, saying "god, you're so beautiful", and then he walked off....at this point, greg and i were like "what the fuck?!?!?"..so this guy goes back over to his friends, but he kept staring at me..and not in a coy 'kinda looking' way, but staring as in, watching my every move in a creepy, psycho way...so greg puts my legs up into his lap and unlaces my boots, and starts massaging my feet in an intimate way, so this guy would think he's my boyfriend...but the drunk guy comes over ANYWAY, and starts trying to engage me in conversation, like gregs not even sitting there with me.... and that's when greg snapped and yelled "yo, man, stop trying to chat up my girl!! you're lucky i'm a pascifist, man, i could snap you like a twig!!" which was true, because greg is slim but tall..and because of all his piercings and ink, he -looks- badass, although like with me, looks are deceiving, because eveyone just assumes that greg and i could kick ass, but in actuality, we are both peace loving vegetarians whom don't believe in war or unsolicited violence.....
so the guy slinks off, but to make it believable, we kept hugging and cuddling...but then greg starts to get very serious, and takes my face in his hands and says "your eyes have always killed me...you have the biggest, sweetest, most wounded, most hurt, but most kind and understanding brown eyes i have ever seen"
so i giggled and said "relax, greg, they (meaning the guy and his friends) can't hear us all the way over here over the music" and greg said "i know"...so that's when i relized he was being serious and pseudo honest, and not just "playing boyfriend" to keep me from getting hit on.... so i'm thinking it's the lager, and i said "come on sailor, it's tyme to take you home...."
but when we get there, he starts saying "you know i love you dinah..and i've always loved you"
okay, pause here: when greg and i say "i love you, it's always been in the same vein of "i love you's" that slabgar (happy birthday baby) and i share...which is "i love you, you've been my friend for years..i respect you, admire you, care and worry about you...and if things had been just a -little- different, we might have hooked up....but it never happened, so now, 'i love you', in a deep, intense, platonic way"
so when he said "i love you" i shot back as always "i know pumpkin, i love you too" but greg said "no, dinah, i REALLY, really love you....and i just think that if it hadn't been for blaek and janette when we first met...and then janette and rob years later when you were in town for your aunt's funeral (which btw, is the lone week our friendship was sexual, we fucked like bunnies when i was in town for that week, more than 3 years ago)....if the tyming had just been -slightly- different....we could have had...everything"
so i start thinking about what he's said, but then i stopped myself, because in therapy, i have been taught that i "woulda, coulda, shoulda" things to death, and there's no point or closure in it, so i have to just let some things go to give myself brief moments of peace....and i was about to tell him this, when he broke the intense silence with a burning kiss.....
and that's when my body perked up...because as much as i am dating, i haven't really been fucking any one in awhile...and he starts to say all the poetic shit that gets to me..everytyme... "i just need to touch you and explore you again, dinah.....it went by so quickly"
(like i mentioned, we have been friends for about 6 years, but only slept together that one week, years ago...but back then, i still felt love for blaek, and was falling in love with rob up in new york...so i had more men then i could handle...so you can imagine my confusion when greg and i made love and it turned out to be this earth shattering, planets rocking, heat...mind, heart and body explosion kind of sex...everything fused, and it was amazing...)
so when he started talking that way and touching me that way, my brain automatically returned to the bliss that was his bed so many years before...and it just happened....
it was good, but odd, because i feel "out of practice" and when you go for awhile without being touched, you build this wall around your body and it just feels awkward at first, when revisited... and it started off slightly painful...because as some of you know, i'm built tightly, and he's rather 'gifted'. but after the pain, we got on with it....
but it was weird having someone moan "i love you" while inside of me..i almost forgot what it felt like...also, back then, when we fucked, i had only dabbled in bdsm...i had spent the previous summer belonging to master bill, but other than that...vanilla...so last night, i could see he was attempting to try things with me that as my friend, i had told him all about,and he knew turned me on, but as a lover, he had yet to try with me....and one point, he freaked out and exclaimed "holy fuck!! dinah baby, i'm leaving marks!!!" and i just giggled and said " i know, sweetie, it happens...i'll let you know if you are ACTUALLY hurting me"
so that was the way of it...
there's more, but i've been up all night and have to be at the club at nine tonight, so i think i'm going to go noddy-blinkums
details within
so last night was my only night off this week, and i had a thousand and one things to take care of, so i just went out with a list to make my rounds...i went over to dad's because he wanted to see me (david, not my biological father, but my emotional dad) anyway, he hurt his back and was unable to take me to the casino like he wanted, so we postponed it till my next night off...
then, i go and meet my date at the restaurant he picked....
now, i -could- go into details about what he did that was eight shades of wrong and disrespectful to me, but if i did, i know about three or four people reading this would freak out and insist on coming to tampa to carve this fuck a new asshole (and yes, i'm glancing in your general direction, Goddess) so rather than go into all that, let's skip to the part where i excused myself to go to the ladies room and about 5 miles and ten minutes later, i text him letting him know that i left money for the food i ordered but did not eat with the waitress and that "this is precisely why i insisted on taking my own car..have a nice life"
it was still early yet, so i decided to give one of my best friends, greg a call and when he answered, i said "throw your glad rags on, kid, we're going out to _______" (the punk bar my girl shannon works at and that musician jim plays gigs at)..
so i go pick up greg, and tell him what this ass-clown said and did on our "date" and greg was LIVID...but i told him to relax and shake it off, and we went off to the pub...we had a pint and sat down to listen to the music, amd this dude out of nowhere comes up and kisses my hand...and walks away..so we just laughed, assuming he was just some drunk guy...but then he came up and did it again, saying "god, you're so beautiful", and then he walked off....at this point, greg and i were like "what the fuck?!?!?"..so this guy goes back over to his friends, but he kept staring at me..and not in a coy 'kinda looking' way, but staring as in, watching my every move in a creepy, psycho way...so greg puts my legs up into his lap and unlaces my boots, and starts massaging my feet in an intimate way, so this guy would think he's my boyfriend...but the drunk guy comes over ANYWAY, and starts trying to engage me in conversation, like gregs not even sitting there with me.... and that's when greg snapped and yelled "yo, man, stop trying to chat up my girl!! you're lucky i'm a pascifist, man, i could snap you like a twig!!" which was true, because greg is slim but tall..and because of all his piercings and ink, he -looks- badass, although like with me, looks are deceiving, because eveyone just assumes that greg and i could kick ass, but in actuality, we are both peace loving vegetarians whom don't believe in war or unsolicited violence.....
so the guy slinks off, but to make it believable, we kept hugging and cuddling...but then greg starts to get very serious, and takes my face in his hands and says "your eyes have always killed me...you have the biggest, sweetest, most wounded, most hurt, but most kind and understanding brown eyes i have ever seen"
so i giggled and said "relax, greg, they (meaning the guy and his friends) can't hear us all the way over here over the music" and greg said "i know"...so that's when i relized he was being serious and pseudo honest, and not just "playing boyfriend" to keep me from getting hit on.... so i'm thinking it's the lager, and i said "come on sailor, it's tyme to take you home...."
but when we get there, he starts saying "you know i love you dinah..and i've always loved you"
okay, pause here: when greg and i say "i love you, it's always been in the same vein of "i love you's" that slabgar (happy birthday baby) and i share...which is "i love you, you've been my friend for years..i respect you, admire you, care and worry about you...and if things had been just a -little- different, we might have hooked up....but it never happened, so now, 'i love you', in a deep, intense, platonic way"
so when he said "i love you" i shot back as always "i know pumpkin, i love you too" but greg said "no, dinah, i REALLY, really love you....and i just think that if it hadn't been for blaek and janette when we first met...and then janette and rob years later when you were in town for your aunt's funeral (which btw, is the lone week our friendship was sexual, we fucked like bunnies when i was in town for that week, more than 3 years ago)....if the tyming had just been -slightly- different....we could have had...everything"
so i start thinking about what he's said, but then i stopped myself, because in therapy, i have been taught that i "woulda, coulda, shoulda" things to death, and there's no point or closure in it, so i have to just let some things go to give myself brief moments of peace....and i was about to tell him this, when he broke the intense silence with a burning kiss.....
and that's when my body perked up...because as much as i am dating, i haven't really been fucking any one in awhile...and he starts to say all the poetic shit that gets to me..everytyme... "i just need to touch you and explore you again, dinah.....it went by so quickly"
(like i mentioned, we have been friends for about 6 years, but only slept together that one week, years ago...but back then, i still felt love for blaek, and was falling in love with rob up in new york...so i had more men then i could handle...so you can imagine my confusion when greg and i made love and it turned out to be this earth shattering, planets rocking, heat...mind, heart and body explosion kind of sex...everything fused, and it was amazing...)
so when he started talking that way and touching me that way, my brain automatically returned to the bliss that was his bed so many years before...and it just happened....
it was good, but odd, because i feel "out of practice" and when you go for awhile without being touched, you build this wall around your body and it just feels awkward at first, when revisited... and it started off slightly painful...because as some of you know, i'm built tightly, and he's rather 'gifted'. but after the pain, we got on with it....
but it was weird having someone moan "i love you" while inside of me..i almost forgot what it felt like...also, back then, when we fucked, i had only dabbled in bdsm...i had spent the previous summer belonging to master bill, but other than that...vanilla...so last night, i could see he was attempting to try things with me that as my friend, i had told him all about,and he knew turned me on, but as a lover, he had yet to try with me....and one point, he freaked out and exclaimed "holy fuck!! dinah baby, i'm leaving marks!!!" and i just giggled and said " i know, sweetie, it happens...i'll let you know if you are ACTUALLY hurting me"
so that was the way of it...
there's more, but i've been up all night and have to be at the club at nine tonight, so i think i'm going to go noddy-blinkums