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I went to my cousin's wedding on Saturday, which was a great opportunity for me to see my extended family. The service was up in Flushing, NY, since my cousin Waverly, the bride, lives in northern NJ. It was in a much smaller chapel than I'd imagined, pretty traditional, with lots of stone-work. It made for a really intimate service, which was a small surprise. I was an usher, so I was afraid not everyone could be seated, but we (my now cousin in law Stephen, also an usher, and me) seated everyone with room to spare.
[One trick I'm remembering for any big events with Asians is what they did with the announcement of the service start time. Wei and Waverly sent out invitations claiming that the wedding began at 2:30pm, but they planned to start the service at 3pm, and had that printed on the programs. And wouldn't you know it, some people were still rolling in at about 2:45. As Stephen said (and I denied, which was naive) they were on Asian Standard Time, which is +10-30 minutes.]
My sister was one of the three bridesmaids, and did a great job managing and helping out with the uncountable tasks during a wedding. She looked wonderful in her dress and makeup, neither of which I almost ever see on her. And of course Wei and Waverly the couple were perfect. They make a great couple, since they have complementary personalities - Wei is steady, while Waverly is passionate - but both have strong faith, which was evident in the service.
I wish I had kept the program, Uncle Tony gave me one (because ironically, the people who serve in a service usually don't get a program). There were no performances or gifts from the bride or groom to each other, just a few songs from a small choir, a short homily and lots of vows and readings. They were actually quite beautiful to hear my cousin and her husband read (I teared a little) for me because I've known Waverly for nearly as long as I can remember, and now we're all growing up and getting hitched and I'm getting a lil' teary again, so I'll stop.
Something that passed me over while I was listening, thankful my ushing duties were over, was the Bible reading from 1 Cor 13, the love chapter. Honestly, this is the Brett Favre of Bible passages at a wedding - it'll never get retired. But I had just read this a week ago, and I said "huh, love is patient, love is kind, this is getting old. skip to verse 9." Real spiritual there, John. So mentally as he was reading, I did a little "uhhuh, uhhuh, uhhuh" in my mind. I wonder if God ever gets bored when he sees someone reading through Numbers and starts to yawn. Kidding. God loves censuses and travel records and he is the Man, so I will too. Actually, my right eye is beginning to sting badly from the tears, and I'm out of Visine. God is quick with the punishment.
So after the service, I get a chance to catch up with cousins at the photo shoot afterwards. Some of my elder cousins from America were there (all of Auntie Xien's 4 sisters, and Margaret, Josie's daughter), with their grown kids, my age. Jack from Norcal, and Christine and Kathy from NJ. I missed Alex, but she's in DC so I hope to see her soon. It was really good to see them, especially since I moved to Socal I don't often see the Jersey folks. They're all doing really well, which makes me glad we got good blessings and good genes. I sat next to Jack and Yong-yi at the banquet. Lily sat with Christine and Kathy, but had to run back and forth doing bridesmaid work. Although Jack was a little apprehensive about the table of unfamiliar family friends we were seated at, Jack got along quick with Yongyi - they both work out of Boston (for now) so that was an easy starter. There was some forced awkwardness with the MC (no Mandarin, forced bride-groom kissing, garter pulling with no hands) but everything was PG-13.
I gotta say though, at dinner I exceeded my quota of dumb-insensitive-things-I-say-when-in-big-groups. (It's 0, if anyone is curious). I won't detail it, but it wasn't pretty. I went back home to the hotel and played the tape of the wedding back in my head as I was getting ready to sleep. Two things hit me, the chapter on love and the way I talked at the banquet. When I went back to it and read "love is kind, ... love is not rude... love does not delight in wrongdoing...", I had to say, "I gotta turn around on this one." What I know in my mind is that the attitude of my heart is what comes out of my mouth, and if I won't love those that love me, how can I love God? (This is the direction I could (and want to) write on for days, but I won't - too preachy.) I really can't ignore what God says about love, because I still need to work on all of it. That's one of the things the reverend spoke at the homily - love is work, basically. And work can be tough.
One of the things I remember realizing (while driving) a week or 2 back is that maturity is not in being right all the time, but knowing when to stop and turn around when you're wrong. I get lost a lot because I think I know where I'm going, but miss a turn or don't notice that 'turn left' doesn't mean 'turn right because Google Maps is clearly wrong'. So turning around, again, on loving others... at least I'm going to get there.
The beatings workouts will continue until morale improves. And then they'll probably still continue.
[One trick I'm remembering for any big events with Asians is what they did with the announcement of the service start time. Wei and Waverly sent out invitations claiming that the wedding began at 2:30pm, but they planned to start the service at 3pm, and had that printed on the programs. And wouldn't you know it, some people were still rolling in at about 2:45. As Stephen said (and I denied, which was naive) they were on Asian Standard Time, which is +10-30 minutes.]
My sister was one of the three bridesmaids, and did a great job managing and helping out with the uncountable tasks during a wedding. She looked wonderful in her dress and makeup, neither of which I almost ever see on her. And of course Wei and Waverly the couple were perfect. They make a great couple, since they have complementary personalities - Wei is steady, while Waverly is passionate - but both have strong faith, which was evident in the service.
I wish I had kept the program, Uncle Tony gave me one (because ironically, the people who serve in a service usually don't get a program). There were no performances or gifts from the bride or groom to each other, just a few songs from a small choir, a short homily and lots of vows and readings. They were actually quite beautiful to hear my cousin and her husband read (I teared a little) for me because I've known Waverly for nearly as long as I can remember, and now we're all growing up and getting hitched and I'm getting a lil' teary again, so I'll stop.
Something that passed me over while I was listening, thankful my ushing duties were over, was the Bible reading from 1 Cor 13, the love chapter. Honestly, this is the Brett Favre of Bible passages at a wedding - it'll never get retired. But I had just read this a week ago, and I said "huh, love is patient, love is kind, this is getting old. skip to verse 9." Real spiritual there, John. So mentally as he was reading, I did a little "uhhuh, uhhuh, uhhuh" in my mind. I wonder if God ever gets bored when he sees someone reading through Numbers and starts to yawn. Kidding. God loves censuses and travel records and he is the Man, so I will too. Actually, my right eye is beginning to sting badly from the tears, and I'm out of Visine. God is quick with the punishment.
So after the service, I get a chance to catch up with cousins at the photo shoot afterwards. Some of my elder cousins from America were there (all of Auntie Xien's 4 sisters, and Margaret, Josie's daughter), with their grown kids, my age. Jack from Norcal, and Christine and Kathy from NJ. I missed Alex, but she's in DC so I hope to see her soon. It was really good to see them, especially since I moved to Socal I don't often see the Jersey folks. They're all doing really well, which makes me glad we got good blessings and good genes. I sat next to Jack and Yong-yi at the banquet. Lily sat with Christine and Kathy, but had to run back and forth doing bridesmaid work. Although Jack was a little apprehensive about the table of unfamiliar family friends we were seated at, Jack got along quick with Yongyi - they both work out of Boston (for now) so that was an easy starter. There was some forced awkwardness with the MC (no Mandarin, forced bride-groom kissing, garter pulling with no hands) but everything was PG-13.
I gotta say though, at dinner I exceeded my quota of dumb-insensitive-things-I-say-when-in-big-groups. (It's 0, if anyone is curious). I won't detail it, but it wasn't pretty. I went back home to the hotel and played the tape of the wedding back in my head as I was getting ready to sleep. Two things hit me, the chapter on love and the way I talked at the banquet. When I went back to it and read "love is kind, ... love is not rude... love does not delight in wrongdoing...", I had to say, "I gotta turn around on this one." What I know in my mind is that the attitude of my heart is what comes out of my mouth, and if I won't love those that love me, how can I love God? (This is the direction I could (and want to) write on for days, but I won't - too preachy.) I really can't ignore what God says about love, because I still need to work on all of it. That's one of the things the reverend spoke at the homily - love is work, basically. And work can be tough.
One of the things I remember realizing (while driving) a week or 2 back is that maturity is not in being right all the time, but knowing when to stop and turn around when you're wrong. I get lost a lot because I think I know where I'm going, but miss a turn or don't notice that 'turn left' doesn't mean 'turn right because Google Maps is clearly wrong'. So turning around, again, on loving others... at least I'm going to get there.
The beatings workouts will continue until morale improves. And then they'll probably still continue.