Getting Old: Why it Doesn't Sound Like Much Fun at All
Oh okay, so I'm about an hour and a half late on my 30 posts in 30 days promise (but I'm backdating it, so I'm pretty much cheating anyway). Though I didn't really specify that I'd be doing one post each day, so this counts as far as my book is concerned. It's not like you really cherish my profound thoughts anyway.
I into my apartment tomorrow. It'll be the first time I've ever signed a lease, which makes me feel like I'll have to start buying Depends tomorrow. God, I don't ever want to get old. It just seems like old people can't have any fun. Movies like The Bucket List? That stuff never happens. After you turn 65, you're automatically programmed to drive five miles under the speed limit in the left lane and update your family on if you've been regular in making your stool deposits, which is what old people call poopin'.
It seems like I can feel myself getting older. I'm getting to like foods I didn't used to like. I'm starting to worry about things like cancer, health insurance, and finding a "real job." I get tired when I don't sleep as much as I ought to, and, like my grandparents say, my body don't work the way it useta. I think I'm getting shin splints from running. And my knees and wrists get sore sometimes when I'm at work, carrying things around all day. What's up with that?
Plus, when you get old, you eventually die, and that doesn't seem like much fun. I'm not too keen on enclosed spaces, so a coffin isn't for me, but I also don't like really hot places, so I don't think I'd much like to be cremated. Maybe I'll put the contact number for a taxidermist on my will, and my family can keep me around like a big stuffed animal.