(Untitled)
Somebody tell me.
Why it feels more real when I dream than when I am awake.
How can I know if my senses are lying?
Who are you?
Am I alone?
Why it feels more real when I dream than when I am awake.
How can I know if my senses are lying?
Who are you?
Am I alone?
When I was little something was not quite right with my mind because everything felt unreal, and then I started harboring obsessive fears and havng social anxiety and one instance of panic attack by age 7, followed by the typical teenage rage. This was topped off by a really bad situation in college involving sexual molestation by somebody who was supposed to be my best friend, followed by being backstabbed, betrayed and alienated by everyone that I knew. That was when the shit hit the fan. But then eventually everything got peachy again. The brain compensates for all the stresses and to date I see myself as a pragmatist in real life, an idealist in thought.
I don't think I repress many things unless it is in the interest of diplomacy. I would be laying down the law in many instances if it weren't for my friends telling me to calm down. But in the grand scheme of things, my life is on-track, and I'm not too distressed about anything because I realize that I could be much worse off -- especially after my near-death experience. So I believe that the time for my introspection has been over for quite some time and my life is an open book. No passive-aggressiveness here... :)
It's weird because even though I sound angry on lj, nothing really bothers me in reality. I think I just wish that people would hurry up and evolve like I did and quit being embarrassing little whiny self-centered drama bitches. :P
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