(no subject)

[darksyde31]

you know jp, i think there are things that you might not still see through all of this. and it is that i care. i know this might be something that u might not want to hear because its something you dont believe, but you know that i still care for you. not once did i ever say otherwise.. but i understand all of this, because i deserve it. i let you down, in the end. i wasnt the person i was anymore, and that might hurt me just as much as it pains you. for me, its like watching a part of my life die before my eyes, and im caged. i just watch it slowly wither while i am there helpless.i dont pitty you, but i just wish that it wasnt happening. i tried everything, i gave everything i know how to give, and still i wasnt good enough.

i hate being on the other side of this spectrum, and i never wanted to be here. i never wanted to do this to you at all. not once did want to become the person your crying about again, and especially not for this reason. im so sorry i abandoned you, and i hope that one day you might want to look me in the face again.