(no subject)

Oct 28, 2009 04:03

Have you ever had the feeling that you're on a tour bus, in the swiss alps,descending a steep, curvy road, when suddenly, the driver clutches his chest, and collapses, his foot against the gas peddle, and you, being the good person you are, lunge for the wheel, only to be crushed between the driver and the 500 pound foreign gentleman who had the same idea as you, only he just had a heart attack, and can't move, and you hit the breaks, somehow, but they're broken, and the gaggle of nuns with the 12 newborns in the back are screaming as a flotilla of penguins hit the windshield but some shrill harpy is grabbing your arm and preventing you from using the wipers because'penguins are endangered' and you try to tell her 'so are we' or some other action quip, but you can't because a killer bee just flew into your mouth and you can't make any noise or he'll sting you, which is when you notice that your pants have fallen around your ankles, you're going commando, and a dutch transvestite midget is attempting to set your pubic hair on fire, while the nuns are busy critquing the exact size and shape of your genitalia which is when you realise that, through the penguins, you can see a 747 piloted by Paris Hilton bearing down on you, towing the wreckage of the titanic behind it, and you also seem to have a persistant cough that just will not go away?

Well, have you?

I have, if you remove everything but the cough.
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