(no subject)
I'm restless today. Last week I went to go see a neurologist and next week I have my first MRI. A week after that, I have nerve conduction testing done on my legs.
I'm losing feeling in my legs. My legs jump and my feet contort without me controlling them. They hurt and I don't know what to do. It has to do with my military injuries, of course. And my "lady time'. When I have my reminder of femalehood, my lower limbs do funny things. If I take birth control that stops all of that, and when the weather is cooperative, I don't have the problem so much.
The neurologist I saw performed what is called the "pin prick" test, which is exactly what it sounds like. They stick you with a pin from toes to waist to see where you develop feeling. My navel. Thats what I can feel. Cold is the same. Reflexes are fine. Whatever the fuck that means.
All I know is that I'm scared shitless, and am so used to hearing, "don't dwell on it, you'll be fine", that the only place I really feel like I can say what I think about the whole thing is online. Go me. And my military claim is still in the appeal process. They're still denying that my pelvic fracture is really something that happened on active duty, or something like that.
Really, all I want to do right now is go to bed and not get up.
I'm losing feeling in my legs. My legs jump and my feet contort without me controlling them. They hurt and I don't know what to do. It has to do with my military injuries, of course. And my "lady time'. When I have my reminder of femalehood, my lower limbs do funny things. If I take birth control that stops all of that, and when the weather is cooperative, I don't have the problem so much.
The neurologist I saw performed what is called the "pin prick" test, which is exactly what it sounds like. They stick you with a pin from toes to waist to see where you develop feeling. My navel. Thats what I can feel. Cold is the same. Reflexes are fine. Whatever the fuck that means.
All I know is that I'm scared shitless, and am so used to hearing, "don't dwell on it, you'll be fine", that the only place I really feel like I can say what I think about the whole thing is online. Go me. And my military claim is still in the appeal process. They're still denying that my pelvic fracture is really something that happened on active duty, or something like that.
Really, all I want to do right now is go to bed and not get up.