I love my Fucking "family" *sarcasm*
Today has mainly just been an awful day with a lil joyful bump in the middle. But how miniscule bump it was...
*******************beware drama venting ahead*******************
I have not asked much in my life so far. Just for a lil respect, compassion, and understanding. I have seen my friends come and go over my life, and once i think's its stop....it hasn't. I have seen my family come and go also but that has been a continuous spiral downward anyways. I know and understand that we meet new people and lose old friends, i truly understand but just once would i like to have someone to keep. I sit here alone again knowing that no one will call me or talk to me in public about how I feel. Basically this is my only friend...sad isn't it? But the truth is very, very sad.
There are all those who people say love me and I know they do cause they are either my blood or someone i hang with all the time. The truth is, they are never there anymore. Leave comments, they never go through with it; email me, never hear me out; talk to me, they never listen. I have told many people I am hurting and i never see even a twitch in their eyes to think they are actually feeling me. My father was never there for me and he believes i should be there every step for HIS new family while me just being on the side takes it. The person i took in as a father figure was an asswhole and died and left me and my mom! My mom is always working or sleeping and I love her for always helping me even through my selfish moments...and disrespect. Mr. Carl, an asswhole of a man but b4 his strokes he was such a great guy and i still miss and hug the t-shirt he gave me. Now the other person i believed was the only male romodel left in my life is leaving to, Mr. Rowser.....
I was never that close to him like many many many others but he was the only one left. What will happen now? All I know is to just keep moving forward and try to make his band proud for Geiger and the new assistant director. I hope the underclassmen and my class will take his learnings and respect the new director, Geiger and the new assistant director.
I think i'll stop there before I regret anything...there just isn't enough room.