(no subject)
So. Aside from those 'Just stuff' things, where I'm constantly frustrated with my own shortcomings, there's still a lot going on.
During my trip to Sydney, I managed to find a mildly useful book on Judaism, which I managed to finish within two days. Unfortunately, there wasn't enough depth to it, I found. I'm hoping I might find some more at the library, but I'm not overly optimistic. It took about ten bookstores just to find one book I felt might be of some use.
So yes. I am taking this seriously, rather than just an idle idea I've been throwing around. I don't think my mother takes me seriously yet though. Which will come with time, I imagine. It's... an odd feeling. If I hadn't started talking to Peter, I wouldn't have decided to learn more about Judaism... which means it would have taken me so much longer to come to this path.
I feel as though I am doing the right thing, by at least researching this as much as I possibly can. I'm just not sure what is available here in Wollongong. I might possibly find there's nothing open to me, so it will require much more studying on my own.
Also, Kristelle is... I don't know. She's not the same person anymore. She's not outwardly ill, but she's tired a lot, and not as bouncy. I don't want to treat her as fragile, because I know that would upset her more, but the knowledge she is going to die is still... hard to cope with, on a daily basis.
Telstra is giving me some grief. Apparently the phone connection in my flat has never been active, so I can't get the phone connected without something like a $300 charge for a technician to come out and have a look. I don't -have- that sort of money. If I had a job, I wouldn't be quite so upset, but trying to afford anything on Centerlink payments is horrific. But I'll see what sort of jobs are available around the area soon. I'm not sure how I'll cope without anything to distract me, and being out of contact with Peter. I think it will mean I throw myself into study to a much larger extent.
During my trip to Sydney, I managed to find a mildly useful book on Judaism, which I managed to finish within two days. Unfortunately, there wasn't enough depth to it, I found. I'm hoping I might find some more at the library, but I'm not overly optimistic. It took about ten bookstores just to find one book I felt might be of some use.
So yes. I am taking this seriously, rather than just an idle idea I've been throwing around. I don't think my mother takes me seriously yet though. Which will come with time, I imagine. It's... an odd feeling. If I hadn't started talking to Peter, I wouldn't have decided to learn more about Judaism... which means it would have taken me so much longer to come to this path.
I feel as though I am doing the right thing, by at least researching this as much as I possibly can. I'm just not sure what is available here in Wollongong. I might possibly find there's nothing open to me, so it will require much more studying on my own.
Also, Kristelle is... I don't know. She's not the same person anymore. She's not outwardly ill, but she's tired a lot, and not as bouncy. I don't want to treat her as fragile, because I know that would upset her more, but the knowledge she is going to die is still... hard to cope with, on a daily basis.
Telstra is giving me some grief. Apparently the phone connection in my flat has never been active, so I can't get the phone connected without something like a $300 charge for a technician to come out and have a look. I don't -have- that sort of money. If I had a job, I wouldn't be quite so upset, but trying to afford anything on Centerlink payments is horrific. But I'll see what sort of jobs are available around the area soon. I'm not sure how I'll cope without anything to distract me, and being out of contact with Peter. I think it will mean I throw myself into study to a much larger extent.